


Conviction

by Velace



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV First Person, Sexual Content, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:16:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 71,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velace/pseuds/Velace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Queen Regina discovered Snow White and Prince Charming had sent their child to another land, she decided not to enact the Dark Curse. Twenty-two years later, Emma Swan awoke in the Enchanted Forest. Thankful for the escape from the horrors of her previous life, she decided to embrace the new and found herself among the Evil Queen's Guard three years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on FF asked if I would post this here. I said I'd think about it once it was finished, now it is finished and I figure it gives me a reason to procrastinate actually writing, so why not. Don't let the tags turn you off reading it. I actually like this one, and it's a lot less unhappy than the tags imply.

Walking into the Barracks, the men and woman I worked with daily - Corporals and Lieutenants alike - were there to greet me with their boisterous applause, a celebration underway in honour of my promotion to Knight-Captain.

It had been three years since I awoke in the village tavern, extremely confused about my strange surroundings. I don't know what happened, or why and quite frankly, I'm still not sure that I care. The terror that had plagued me upon waking, faded quickly with the realisation I had been given a fresh start; this miracle as I often called it, had come at the most opportune time and whether it was fate or fortune, I was going to appreciate it for as long as possible.

"Finally got to meet Her Majesty." My fascination for the Queen had become an often tapped source of amusement among those I had grown close to, the Knight-Commander in particular seemed to relish each and every chance he had to tease me about it. "So.. how was it?"

Despite knowing my own words would one day come back to haunt me, I couldn't seem to help myself as I blurted out the experience. "Weird.. and.. wonderful. Gods that scar above her lip, of which you never once mentioned by the way." The glare I directed at him transformed into a triumphant smirk when a sudden bout of choking followed his amused snort.

The sound caused those in the vicinity to throw worried glances our way, but the smile curling my lips seemed to reassure them and they all eventually went back to their talking and drinking.

As he composed himself, I continued since I had known him long enough to know he'd pursue the topic until he had squeezed every drop of future humiliation from me. While embellishing my tales is a common occurrence, I didn't feel the need this time as the events that unfolded in the throne room slipped from my lips.

* * *

 

_"Three years I have unknowingly paid a complete stranger for her exemplary services. Her accomplishments since she arrived here could fill more books than any one of us could fill in the span of our entire lives."_

_"Rise, Lady Swan and remove your helm." When I complied with the request, our eyes connected and there was an unmistakable hunger in those inky brown depths. The shiver that passed through me only intensified when the melodic, somewhat dark laugh escaped her perfect lips._

_"I cannot say what I am in awe of more- the multitude of heroic deeds or your strikingly good looks." Another chuckle accompanied her words and I couldn't help the blush that warmed my cheeks. While such a comment from most would garner nothing more than a glare - knowing they were probably only trying to get in my pants - hearing it from the woman famed across the realm for her beauty was undeniably different._

_Remaining silent, I bowed my head and lowered my gaze to the floor, surprised when a finger suddenly pressed the underside of my chin and raised them once more. "Your respect is noted, but I would rather see those eyes of yours."_

_Her finger slid from my chin to my throat and around to the back of my neck as she circled me, a tingling sensation trailing in its wake. Using every ounce of my willpower, I managed to resist turning and following her. "Do you think anyone would find it petty if I were to throw Knight-Commander Graham in the dungeon for hiding you from me all this time?"_

_I assumed the question was rhetorical, but the lack of response seemed to annoy her. "I asked you a question, Swan."_

_Of course I thought it would be petty and I had no doubt others would think so, but I wasn't stupid and I certainly wasn't going to tell her that. "No one would dare insult you so, my Queen."_

_"Tsk." The heat from the back of my armour alerted me to the fact I now had the Queen pressed up against me and although I couldn't feel it through the plate, just the thought had my heart rate spiking. "What sort of answer is that?"_

_I scanned the throne room, meeting the eyes of all those present that the Queen seemed content to ignore for now as her focus remained on me. The fact none of them seemed bothered by the scene concerned me less than it probably should have, distracted by the closeness of the Queen as I was. "It is the answer of a woman who is capable of using her brain and not inclined to be removed from your more favourable.. attentions." I paused as the warmth of her breath caressed my neck, the aforementioned brain short-circuiting at the feeling before I choked out a belated, "My Queen."_

_"Loyal, brave, gorgeous and intelligent. My my, aren't you a catch." My eyes widened with each word as she practically purred them in to my ear._

_Her hand clasped me by the shoulder, a slight pressure applied as she stepped back and raised her voice. "Kneel, Knight-Sergeant."_

_I did so, without hesitation._

_"For your courageous actions over the past three years, the recent rescue of my son Prince Henry and your continued service to the Crown, I hereby grant you the rank of Knight-Captain and award you access to the left-wing of the palace where you will be taking up residence." While I had expected the promotion, it was a well-known fact that none of the Guard stayed within the Palace, at least not beyond the required security duty. It was for this reason that I gasped before I could stop myself, and a smirk curled the Queen's lips at my obvious shock._

* * *

 

Graham shook his head and laughed. "Well that was anti-climatic."

I had to laugh with him because honestly, he was right. There were so many emotions vying for my attention during the time, but the frustration that came when Regina had sauntered from the throne room had definitely been far more potent than any of the others. "Speaking of, is that normal? The way she acted I mean."

"No.." His brow furrowed in the way it does when he's thinking, so I knew he wasn't finished. "It's not exactly abnormal either."

The disappointment must have shown on my face because his eyes softened and there was a faint smile on his lips. "You misunderstand me. The Queen often displays.. peculiar behaviour. She does as she pleases and doesn't take into account how her actions affect other people."

I nodded my understanding and grinned. "I get it. Though, I think you might be confused about that last part, she knew the exact effect she was having on me."

He laughed again and gave his own nod. "You may be right about that."


	2. Chapter 2

"Emma! Shit, Emma! Wake up!"

I have never been someone who responds well to my sleep being interrupted and Graham has been on the receiving end of my anger enough times to know this, so it didn't take much to convince myself that what happened was his own fault.

Turning his back to me so I could throw on some clothes, he tried to explain the reason behind his lapse in common sense, the hand covering his face made it difficult to understand many of the words. I think I heard something about a revolt in there somewhere, which I admit would be a pretty good reason to risk the ire of your second-in-command.

Thinking it wouldn't do any good if he walked into the wall and knocked himself unconscious, I lead him from the room with a hand on his back, all the while muttering about, "Bloody peasants."

"My sentiments exactly, Captain." I came to a stop at the sound of the Queen's voice, catching sight of her a moment later as she rounded the corridor. When she came to stand before us, her eyes landed on Graham and she frowned. "Why is the Commander bleeding all over the place?"

It continuously amazed me how other people could gather their thoughts with her in their presence, this time being no different when Graham smoothly dismissed her concern before I had even thought of a way to explain. "My fault, Majesty. I failed to remember that waking the Captain had... consequences."

She tilted her head to the side, a smirk playing across her lips that made the meaning of her next words perfectly clear.

"Perhaps you need to work on your technique." What little was left of my brain cells after only two hours of sleep quickly vanished into thin air. The only thing I could manage at that point was a blush, which I evidently failed to hide because her smirk had become positively evil.

Knowing the moment would end eventually, I fought off the disappointment when it did, the smirk slowly sliding away as her face became stoic once more. "Commander, I'm being informed by the general populace that my guards have ignored their pleas for help finding their missing children."

As far as I knew, no one had come forward with any complaints, so this was news to me. After a brief glance in his direction, I knew his thoughts were similar to my own by the blank look on his face. "Majesty, I had heard nothing about this until a few minutes ago."

"Then I suggest you and the Captain here find out what is going on, I expect a full report when you're done." As she turned to walk away, she paused and then added. "And bring me the guard responsible for causing all of this with their incompetence."

* * *

Wandering around the Town Square, I scanned the crowd gathered, looking for a particular face and trying my best to ignore the angry glares people seemed to consider necessary to throw at me. The thoughts that went through my mind as I passed them had me cringing, the worst being the idea to suggest these people take responsibility for neglecting their sons and daughters long enough for someone to take them. I guess I wasn't ignoring them as successfully as I would have liked, but it's not as though I was the one that had stolen their children and quite frankly, being constantly stared at was annoying.

Intent on marching my way to the Tavern where the person I sought likely I was, I sighed and spun on my heel, only to stumble back as I collided into her.

"Damn it, Red! Where the hell have you been?"

"I've followed you for the past five minutes, wondering when you'd notice." Her teeth bared with the wolfish grin that I found slightly unnerving, even after finding out her well-kept secret.

There were times when the woman drove me insane, if you thought a werewolf would be the type of person to take things more seriously, Ruby would soon prove you wrong. I often have to resist lashing out at her, some times in exasperation, others in anger. Right now, it was a healthy mix of both.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm having a slight problem at the moment and I would really appreciate less immaturity and more helpfulness."

"Alright, Captain Crankypants- How may I be of service?" I rolled my eyes at the mock bow and ignored the sarcasm entirely.

"You could start by telling me what you've heard."

"No more than you have, I imagine. Someone has been sneaking into the village and luring kids away, no one seems to know why." She shrugged.

Having grown up in another world, there were plenty of reasons that ran through my mind at what someone could want with them and none of them raised my hopes that we would find any of them unharmed or even alive.

"I don't suppose you could use your.." I closed my mouth at the frantic look that crossed her face.

It took longer than it should have before the fact I had almost let slip her condition dawned on me, which made me feel like an idiot considering we're surrounded by half of the town, a town that was already in a mass state of panic. "I'm sorry, Red."

I'm not sure how I looked to anyone who saw me, the stinging sensation in my eyes would have me hazarding a guess they were likely bloodshot and I could feel the oncoming headache; the lack of sleep was clearly getting to me and my frustration at the lack of progress wasn't helping matters.

"Don't worry about it. To answer the question, I should be able to help but I'll need a few hours." Relief and perhaps a little hope filled me at the tone of confidence her words held, she had helped me in the past so I knew I could rely on her.

After telling her she had all the time she needed, I then decided to take care of the other request (demand) from the Queen.

* * *

 

Roughly two hours had passed before I managed to find someone willing to talk to me about the complaints we had heard nothing about, another fifteen minutes or so - with the help of the first - to find others willing to corroborate his story.

It was with this newly acquired information that I entered the Sleeping Quarters of the Barracks and pulled Knight-Corporal West from his bunk, dragging him toward the palace without acknowledging his protests or his questions.

He had struggled initially and even managed to escape, only for me to catch him seconds later- a testament to the perils of neglect and plain laziness. He was so out of shape, it would have embarrassed me if I had failed. The fact my speed is so well-known among the Guard, meant a clear lack of intelligence on his part.

Entering the throne room, I immediately caught sight of the bored looking Queen as she sat regally upon her throne, her eyes snapped to mine as I pulled West along behind me.

"Ah, my Captain- have you brought me a present?"

After one of the guards by the door had taken over restraining the Corporal, I stepped forward and kneeled at her feet, bowing my head as I addressed her. "I have brought what you asked for. Whether you believe him a gift is up to you, my Queen."

"Rest assured, if he is the one you say he is, then he is most definitely a gift." The sound of shuffling met my ears a moment before a hand grasped my chin and pulled me to my feet.

Her eyes studied me and I had to resist dropping my own to look at the scar that marred her perfect lip, swallowing the lump in my throat upon realising the proximity of our bodies.

"I'm feeling unusually generous, Captain." My breath hitched when she moved the hand from my chin to clasp the back of my neck, her eyes snapping to my lips as she spoke. "How would you like a reward for your services?"

"My duty to you is its own reward, my Queen." I wanted to beat myself over the head as the words came forth automatically, inwardly groaning at the mischievous way she grinned.

"Very well, Captain. Return to your room and get some sleep, I need the only useful person under my command well-rested if I hope to end this nonsense with the peasants."


	3. Chapter 3

_Nothing but darkness greeted me when I woke that night, something had pulled me from my sleep prematurely. That was always the way it went, always when I'm unconscious. I don't know why, maybe I have to be that way for it to work or maybe it was just terrible timing. When it came down to it, it never really mattered, all that did matter was knowing my time was limited before they found me._

_While I packed my belongings - meaning a few clothes and essential hygiene products - into a ratty duffel bag; I admit I was curious about how they planned to capture me this time. Variety was not something these people lacked, that was for sure. I don't think they've ever used the same trick twice, some attempts were just plain awful, as if they weren't even trying. Like the time I managed to avoid them for nearly a year before someone came around claiming to know my roommate. I didn't have one, not that I discouraged the idea that I did. But it was nothing more than a product of my imagination, it paid to lie about certain things when you were being hunted. That was just one of many, the handful they had used that actually worked counted far less than those that failed._

_My reprieve this time around had lasted longer than the others, it would have been two years since I ditched my identity as Laura Brandon and became Emma Swan. It was a shame that I would have to change it once more, I was rather fond of her life. All the careers I've had so far, bounty hunter - or bail bonds person - if you want to be anal about it - was definitely one of the coolest. I missed being a blonde too and the long hair- which I was going to have to cut again. Aside from being on the run all the time, I don't think I hated anything more than short hair. With my bone structure, it made me look like a man who was trying too hard to look like a woman._

_Sighing, I glanced around my apartment one more time before shutting the door and jogging downstairs to the lobby. It would probably make more sense if I went out the fire escape, but the feeling wasn't as intense as it would have been if they were too close. This time, I wouldn't spend my first few months as someone else, wracked with guilt because that stupid moral compass of mine has a problem with me abandoning everything to save myself._

_"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Lou sat where he always sat, behind his little desk, frowning at people and pretending he hated the world as much as he was supposed to._

_"Yeah, probably." I stood off to the side, keeping my eyes on the entrance and back to the stairwell- It might have looked odd, but I didn't care. I've learned to trust that feeling over the years, but caution has never been a bad thing and more options for an exit were always better than less. "I need to skip town and I can't give you any notice, what's it going to cost me?"_

_He shrugged, not bothered by my behaviour in the least. "Most people don't announce they're skipping town and offer to pay off their landlords beforehand."_

_Grinning, I mimicked his shrug. "I have priorities." And a ridiculously stupid conscience. "Notice is two weeks, right? How 'bout I pay you three and then we can get to making out before the teary-eyed goodbyes."_

_He cracked a smile then, which would have shocked anyone who thought they knew the guy. He pretended to be serious and mad all the time, but once you got to know him, he was hilarious and strangely sweet. "I'll settle for the two and pass on the making out. It wouldn't be right if my wife had to go to prison because I couldn't resist those hot lips of yours." There was a moment of pause before he added. "Besides, she likes you for some reason."_

_Laughing, I shook my head and tossed an envelope with a wad of cash in front of him. "There's more than enough in there, use some of it to take her out one night, maybe it'll help her get over losing her chance with me." I winked at him and turned to leave, waving over my shoulder as I walked out into the cold night air._

* * *

 

It had been a while since I'd thought about my time in the other world, let alone dreamed about it. There is something, in this room or in the palace, I don't know; it's been messing with my mind. The dreams, the thoughts - hell - even the feelings stopped existing for me over a year ago. I've gotten, or at least thought I'd gotten used to being here. I had accepted that my life in that world was over, that I could finally be free.

Most people thought I moved all the time because I had problems settling, that I prefered to keep my distance, that I liked the drunken one night stands. It wasn't true, any of it. I wanted to belong somewhere, I wanted to stop having to run all the time, I was done with meaningless flings and I wanted to find someone to commit to. I couldn't blame people for what they thought, of course. No one knew that there were people after me, trying to catch me so they could study me in a lab somewhere like some sort of mutant.

Three years, it's the longest I've ever spent in one place. The dream, the memory, that's the last of them from back then. That was the night I ceased to exist, I was okay with that.

I like being Emma Swan.

* * *

I was sitting on the bed in my room, lacing my boots when the door swung open and Red entered carrying a stuffed toy. "I came by earlier, but Regina informed me that waking you is a very bad idea."

Was it weird to feel the surge of warmth that went through me? After all it's not as though the Queen were looking out for my well-being and making sure I got enough sleep. Considering what happened to Graham, it was more than likely she were saving Red from the same fate.

Pushing away the feeling, I chuckled and shook my head. "You should probably thank her for that."

"I saw Graham a little after that, I'm not sure I want to experience having my nose reset, it looks painful." She opened her mouth again, as though she had more to say so I waited.

And waited.

The silence stretched to the point where it bordered uncomfortable, so I was surprised when she finally spoke. "Doesn't it bother you?"

With no idea what she was talking about, I blinked and said the only thing I could. "What?" She motioned toward the mirror, as if that was meant to help. "Did it do something I wasn't aware of?"

Comprehension dawned on her face and considering we were sitting so close, I distinctly heard the expletive she muttered under her breath before she started rambling. "I didn't know you didn't know and oh she is going to kill me if she finds out I told you."

It had all been said so fast and when she stood up, I instinctively grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back down. "Too late to back out now, what are you talking about?"

"Everyone knows, or at least I thought everyone did. Maybe she thought so too?" I shrugged at the hopeful look she threw me, still waiting for an explanation. "She has magic." I already knew that, so I nodded for her to continue. "Right, she uh.."

Not wanting to sit here all day, I interrupted. "She can do something involving mirrors, can she come through them or something?"

"No no." She titled her head before shrugging. "Maybe, I don't know. I do know though, that she can use them to see and hear things in the room the mirror is in."

"Huh. So, she could be listening in now and know that you've told me?" I barely contained my laugh at the look of shock on her face.

While I assumed the Queen had better things to do, the panic was still present when I stood from the bed and I kind of felt bad for putting it there, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to at least try to help. "If she is listening, she should also know it was completely accidental and were anything to happen to you because of it, I might just get upset about being spied on." Although I doubted it would sway the Queen against doing something if she were angered, it was the thought that counted, right? Either way, I didn't mind much about the mirror, having eyes on me all the time wasn't exactly a new concept for me.

Her entire face transformed then, like someone had just shoved an instant happiness pill down her throat. I guess she thought more of my influence than I did, weird. "Thanks.. Um, I found something."

"The missing kids?" She nodded. "You found them?"

"No, but I got one of the parents to talk to me and she gave me something of her daughters that might help me track her." She waved the toy in her hand that I had completely forgotten to ask about earlier.

"Wouldn't it be better if we did this at night? It's easier for you if you can fur it up, right?" It had taken me awhile to be able to trust her when she was a werewolf - which seemed perfectly reasonable when one considers the fact she nearly tore my arm off the first time - but once I did, she had taught me a lot about werewolves since then. She's also scolded me many times for referring to shifting as furring it up, something she no doubt wanted to do again if I paid attention to the look she was giving me,

I didn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where those awful tags come in.

Ruby and I parted ways once we decided to meet at the edge of the forest later that afternoon, so naturally I did what I usually would around this time and resumed my duty as one of the Guard. The lack of people I encountered in what was generally a bustling part of the village was disconcerting, especially when I had expected the crowd from earlier in the morning, baying for blood as due for the missing children.

What I did not expect was finding that crowd huddled within the market, surrounding the executioners platform, nor the Queen standing before a man whose face was yet within my view; though I had a fair idea of who to expect as such a physique was - regrettably - hard to ignore.

Seeing a familiar face, I pushed through the throng of villagers until I stood beside him and nudged him with my elbow. "What's going on?"

His eyes flashed with excitement when he turned his head to me with a grin. "Her Majesty is entertaining her subjects, love."

Bile rose in my throat with the realisation of what that meant and while I had often heard of the Queens "entertainment" I had never seen it and had no desire to do so now but as I made to leave, he grabbed me by the arm. "You claim allegiance, Captain and she has already seen you, I would stay and pretend to enjoy the show if I were you."

Yanking my arm from his grip, I snarled. "Well I'm not you, Killian and I'd appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself." Clenching my jaw, I glanced toward the platform to confirm the Queen had indeed seen me before I turned abruptly on my heel and left the square.

The cheers I could hear from behind me as I walked away made my head spin, I would never be able to understand the sick pleasure people got watching someone else be tortured.

It was the challenge in her eyes that made the decision even easier for me than it would have been otherwise, and when the static sensation across the back of my neck was accompanied by the bone chilling scream of a certain former Corporal, I knew she wasn't happy with my departure.

Whatever punishment I had to face for my choice would be worth it, if the alternative was being witness to the Queen's cruelty.

* * *

 

"I was wondering where you disappeared to." I jumped at the sound of her voice from behind me, only barely managing to suppress the expletive on the tip of my tongue as I turned to face her before falling to my knees. I may not agree with her methods or even understand them, but she was still the Queen and I, her Guard Captain.

I bowed my head with a murmured, "My Queen." and waited.

As she circled me, it brought to mind how a zebra might feel when being appraised by a lion the moment before it sinks its teeth into its neck. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing, the thought wasn't far off how I was feeling. "Tell me, why did you leave the market place?"

Inwardly, I sighed as my eyes closed and I tensed in preparation for her reaction to my words. "I cannot abide torture."

Suddenly her fingers were in my hair, pulling my head back and forcing me to meet her gaze as my eyes snapped open to see her leaning down with a snarl. My immediate response to being handled in such a way was anger, to force myself from the ground, to look her in the eyes and snarl right back- but I had spent three years being trained, conditioned to show respect, that the Queen's will is Law and that that law was never to be questioned, never challenged and if one failed to remember that, then their life would be forfeit. To all outside appearances, my expression remained impassive and while I had no doubt she knew of the anger I was feeling, the visible swallow I took upon realising my life was very much at risk- had her lips curling into a smirk.

"Are you telling me that your little slight against me was brought on by your own weakness? That your comfort is more important to you than my will? Do you think yourself superior?" I flinched as the last word was punctuated with a less-than gentle tug of my hair.

"No."

Another tug. "To which question, Captain? Be more specific."

"All of them, my Queen."

"Then why, pray tell, did you think it acceptable to leave?"

"Because I could." It was stupid, it was ultimately the worst possible thing I could have said. When the electric heat entered my body through the hand still clenched in my hair, I sorely wished I hadn't as I concentrated all my willpower into not releasing the scream that tore at my throat.

Words were murmured in my ear, her tone angry and demanding as she commanded me to release what was rightfully hers, what she was earning, what I owed her for walking away.

By the time she was the one to give in, it felt as though every muscle in my body was on fire. My stubborn refusal to relent, to give her what she wanted was paid for with the pain of having kept my jaw clenched so tightly I wouldn't be surprised if I'd done lasting damage.

And just when the thought she was done came, it disappeared as I was flung through the air by some unseen assailant. I tried to brace myself for impact, knowing the stable wall behind me would hurt the moment I hit it and it did. The force with which my back met wood was enough to completely knock the wind from my lungs, I could feel the process of at least one of my ribs breaking and while it hurt enough for that scream to finally be vocalized, I didn't possess the breath to do so.

"Is your pride truly worth this much, Captain?"

It was only when I raised my head to hear her words that I realised I had yet to slump to the ground as I should have, and it was then that I experienced the true fear for my life. This was too familiar, the pain, the loss of control, the forced submission. Panic widened my eyes and despite the reasoning trying to be heard from my mind, my body struggled against the bonds that bound me and prevented the use of my limbs.

* * *

_"Hold her down." I squeezed my eyes shut, my arms and legs flailing in an attempt to keep them from sedating me. My instinct had failed me, I wasn't supposed to be caught. There was meant to be plenty of time for me to evade them, this shouldn't be happening._

_I could feel the needle sinking into my skin and I screamed, still struggling against the hands pinning my ankles and wrists to the bed. Haven't I been through enough? Was my childhood not one of the worst? Why was there always someone trying to hurt me? Didn't I deserve better? better than a lifetime of endless pain and suffering._

_It was an accident, an anomaly that couldn't be explained, that's what they said. So why, why did it feel like I was being punished for her death? She was a bully, she had tormented me for months. I was a kid, fifteen fucking years old. No one had ever taken care of me, no one cared what I went through. The foster parents I was with at the time were more interested in their drugs, I was malnourished and weak, it made me a target and I was sick of it._

_One minute she was sneering down at me, threatening me and the next, a light- faint but visible from where I lay. It was coming from me, I don't know what it was but the sneer-turned-grimace now on her face made it obvious it wasn't something I needed to be afraid of._

_Yet I was, in fact I still am. I felt like a mutant, the family I was with sent me back and then they kidnapped me. Two years I spent in this hellhole before that same light saved me once again, two years of tests and now it was about to happen all over again._

_The last thought I had before sleep consumed me was that I just wanted to go **home.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Hushed whispers floated through the room, back and forth seemingly gaining urgency as the quiet conversation wore on. I had no idea what they were saying, nor who exactly they were. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, I was comfortable enough, if we were to exclude the splitting headache and slight pang in my side. Honestly, I just wanted to go back to sleep after being woken by people who thought they were being quiet.

Then I remembered I was supposed to be meeting Red and my eyes opened in panic before I sat up, a move my body immediately reprimanded me for in the form of the worst damn pain of my life. "Mother.. fucker."

"Lady Swan?" Holding my side, I glanced toward the voice and all of a sudden I was being pushed back down on the bed by a woman who had to be at least three hundred years old.

Alright, maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but definitely not by much.

"You're not to move, miss." I'm not sure if she was trying to scold me with the look she gave, or if she were appraising me as tomorrow nights appetizer. Either way, I wasn't given much time to ponder it when - seconds later - the Queen in all her glory swooped into the room and did a far better job of pinning me to the bed with her eyes.

"That will be all, Bertha." I don't think I've ever snorted and I have no idea why I found it so funny, but the laughter came before I could even think to stop it and the glare I got from both women did nothing to dampen my amusement. Unfortunately, this reaction was even worse than the mere act of sitting up, so the worst pain of my life just upgraded and I was stuck sucking in a breath and almost suffocating myself in trying to hold back a string of extremely inappropriate words.

"Your Majesty, if she doesn't calm down she's going to.." Regina set her glare upon the older woman, effectively silencing whatever she was about to say as she limped from the room.

"You have three broken ribs, a concussion and an unhealthy amount of magic in your system. I'd recommend less movement and more sleep, unless you wish to remain in that bed for the foreseeable future." As she talked, she moved into the room and closed the door behind her. By the time she was done speaking, she stood with her back to me as she looked out of the only window of my room.

"Well I guess I now know what happens when I forget my place." I bit my tongue as soon as the words were out of my mouth and silently prayed she would ignore me entirely. I don't know what had come over me, I wasn't generally so outspoken in her presence.

Her shoulders noticeably slumped before she turned around. "It would seem our magics aren't all that fond of each other." I opened my mouth to protest the fact I even had magic, only to be silenced with a wave of her hand. "There's no point in denying it, I assumed your concussion means you may have forgotten a few things. What is the last thing you remember?"

That was easy. "You throwing me against the wall and holding me there."

She inclined her head. "There wasn't much beyond that point, but it seems you don't remember screaming obscenities at me and then breaking free of my hold, right before you collapsed- hence the concussion." Great. Not only did I insult the Queen, but the one thing I didn't want anyone to know of was no longer an option.

"Each day I find myself even more curious than the last." Were I not bed ridden, a statement like that probably would have sent me running. Conceding to the fact that wasn't an option either, I merely hummed my acknowledgement to indicate I wasn't ignoring her.

"What was it that made you snap back there at the stables, hmm?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. "You assumed my inability to abide torture came from the fact I was weak, like I see myself as some sort of good person who's against it simply because it's immoral."

"I have the distinct feeling you're about to tell me I was wrong."

Feigning a gasp, I placed my hand against my chest. "My Queen, I would never." While I couldn't see her expression, I heard her growl before I felt the bed dip beside me. "You were merely uninformed, I'm not much for sharing things about myself."

I cracked my eyes open when her hand brushed against my forehead, but when a tingling began to spread beneath my skin, I jerked away and received a frustrated sigh in return. "I am well aware that your current condition is my doing but I only wish to ease the pain, I never..." she stopped abruptly, her eyes hardening as she stood and moved to leave.

It was only as she reached forth to open the door that I realised I didn't want her to, so I did the only thing I could think of and answered her question. "Where I'm from, magic isn't meant to exist."

Seeing that it was enough to stop her movement, I carried on. "I had a flashback in the stables and the experiences I've had because of this.. abnormality has left its fair share of scars."

I paused and waited for her to turn back to me because I wanted her to know, to see the truth in what I had to say next. Regardless of how spectacularly shit the current situation was, I would still choose it over the life I previously had. "When I walked away, it wasn't from you, it was from being reminded of the two worst years of my life. My last memory of where I'm from, is being held down while I was injected with a drug that would put me to sleep so they could run experiments on me without having to listen to my screams."

All at once her expression of indifference fell away, revealing something warm, something that looked a lot like empathy as she returned to the bed. When she reached out her hand this time, rather than flinch- I leaned into it. I welcomed her magic as it flowed through me and I immediately felt the difference as the throb at my temple lessened significantly while the pain in my side almost ceased to exist altogether.

Even after the magic stopped, her hand remained where it was and her fingers stroked my forehead soothingly. "I mentioned earlier that our magic didn't like each other, what I was going to say just then was that I never intended to harm you in the way that I did. Your magic seems to be instinctual so that when you subconsciously went to protect yourself, you ended up fuelling my magic instead."

As I thought about her words, my gaze wandered to the window where I noticed the quickening of darkness. I frowned when I remembered Red once more, wondering how the hell I was meant to meet her now.

Fingers trailed the line of my brow, as though she meant to smooth the skin that crinkled with my thoughts. "What's wrong?"

"Red."

The light strokes ceased. "Red?"

Unsure of the reason for the slight hitch in her voice, I chose to ignore it and explain. "I was supposed to meet her in the forest once night fell."

"Well, feel free to try and leave your bed." My eyes snapped to hers at the sound of the bite in her voice and my brow creased further in my confusion as to why.

"She has a possible way to find the children, I was going with her to look for them."

"Oh." I must have been seeing things because - if not - the way her eyes changed made me think she was relieved. Which would imply that my being anywhere near Red in anything other than a working capacity, bothered the Queen and I'm not sure how I was supposed to take that.

Standing, she walked over to the mirror that Red had drawn my attention to earlier this morning and I watched as swirls of blue danced within the glass before a face appeared. "Do you have someone in mind that could replace you?"

She had to repeat the question before I realised she had even said anything. Shaking the fog from my head, I answered. "Sorry, yeah. Graham should suffice, she'll be waiting in the uh.. glade, with that weird.. stream."

I could never remember the names of landmarks, so it was a relieved sigh I gave when she realised where I meant and interrupted my floundering to address the creepy ghost in the mirror. "Find the Knight-Commander and tell him he is to meet Red in the Lunar Grove and he is to make sure she knows he's stepping in for the Knight-Captain as per her request."


	6. Chapter 6

Over the period of a week, I found myself meeting a variety of servants that found themselves attending to my every whim. Naturally I wasn't given any say in the matter, but I allowed them to bring me my meals and help me bathe and then - regardless of their protests - I thanked them for their assistance and dismissed them.

At first, it had been Bertha who fussed over me and yes, I giggled every single time I heard her name. She would ramble on at me about nothing while prodding me in the ribs, then scold me as though I were an insolent child and not a human being who didn't like their injuries being touched constantly and without care - that lasted for all of two days before she disappeared and Regina replaced her.

I admit I was a little curious as to her whereabouts, maybe the Queen put everyone out of their misery and removed whatever spell was on the woman that was keeping her decrepit arse alive for so long. Whatever the case, Regina's idea of helping me heal was far more preferable. She didn't ask if something hurt after poking the area and then yell at me for whining, though she has rolled her eyes a few times.

Whenever she appeared, she enquired about how I was feeling and then dose me with an appropriate amount of magic to remove any significant pain I was in. Afterwards, she stayed awhile to talk before she excused herself with some muttered utterance about having things to do. The entire process occurred twice a day, always around the same time.

Red came to visit me once or twice and Regina would always be conspicuously absent, delaying when she arrived for reasons unknown. I suppose I could have assumed but then if I were wrong, it would probably lead to me making an arse of myself - which I've already done quite enough of - and it wasn't my business really, so I certainly wasn't going to ask.

After shoving my curiosity to the back of my mind, I tried asking Red about her progress in finding the missing children, but all I received in response was avoidance and we somehow ended up talking about random, insignificant things that really would bore me to sleep if I had to repeat them. Of course I didn't put up with that for very long and when I finally snapped, I was firmly informed by Regina the next time she came by that I was to cease worrying about anything that didn't involve my health. Which just lead me to think they were keeping something from me and so now I spent my time worrying about why they were avoiding each other while ignoring my questions, only to double team me and warn me off asking about what had supposedly been my job before my unfortunate accident. All things considered, I was probably right to be paranoid but it wasn't like I could really do anything about it while stuck in bed, so I eventually did as told and let it drop; at least for now.

Ah yes my accident, that was what we were going to let everyone - those curious enough to ask - believe and as long as Regina kept her promise, I was perfectly content to go along with it. Honestly I half-expected her to drag me off to the square and use me as an example for anyone who even thought of disobeying her, instead I was given a promise that no one else would know of my magic all the while receiving her personal attention.

It did make me wonder if people might question my mental health were my easy acceptance of the situation found out somehow, then again what did I really have to complain about? Any pain I felt was brief, soothed the moment she checked in on me. I'm bed ridden, but the alternative was, what? Patrol a village to protect people who don't even trust me to do so? Wander through a forest at night with a werewolf trying to find the tracks of some freak that has gotten a taste for kidnapping? There were plenty more guards and as far as I know, Graham and Red were taking care of the latter. When it comes down to the bare truth of the matter, being injured is a small holiday from the tedious, unappreciated routine that is my life. Maybe they would only wonder because she should scare me, but if I were the kind of person to let fear control me, I doubt I would even still be alive let alone be in the position that I am now.

Or maybe I'm making excuses and ignoring a perfectly valid reason to want nothing to do with her because it's what I'm meant to do? I didn't spend six months in complete isolation learning the law for nothing, Graham and the other guards warned me about the woman I was swearing my life to and yet here I am, proud of the fact I am her Knight-Captain.

Perhaps I'm simply mad and with growing up how I did, who could blame me if I were?

"Are you even listening to me?" Oh right, Red was visiting again.

Sheepishly, I rubbed the back of my head and shrugged. "Sorry, must have phased out."

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks for being interested."

"Seriously? I don't need to know about the weird noises you hear coming from the upper floor of the tavern." I scrunched my face at the images that followed, I really didn't want to picture the kind of people who ventured into that place; in compromising positions.

She glared at me and I admit, it was sort of intimidating. I mean, it's not often you see a persons eyes change colour and the fact she was a werewolf? Contrary to my idiotic behaviour as of late, I'm not completely stupid. So I was thankful when she stopped and deigned to respond. "I mentioned that at least fifteen minutes ago."

Understanding just how deserved her ire was didn't get in the way of my laughing, which I suppose makes my statement regarding my intellect somewhat questionable.

"You're a real dick some times."

With a grin and the slight incline of my head, I agreed with the assessment. "You're not the first to tell me that."

"I can believe that."

We elapsed into a blissful silence for a few minutes before she launched back into her one-sided conversation; where I assume she left off last time. I felt obligated to stare at her like she had three heads, even though I was actually paying attention to her ramblings this time. She was describing another of her pointless dates with some guy who had been far too optimistic in the first place, if you asked me - everyone knows Red loves the ladies.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

Relieved she cut the story short but resenting the fact I had to hear about it at all, I responded as any respectable five-year old would. "You just did."

I saw the fake, unamused laugh coming from a mile away. "Ha ha."

Sitting there, I waited for her to continue only to realise after a minute or two - during which occurred a weirdly intense staring competition - that she wasn't planning to, so I rolled my eyes and prompted her. "Well, what's the question?"

She blinked before laughing softly and shaking her head, which I thought was curious but was yet another thing I added to the mounting pile of things I forced myself to be ignorant of. "It's about your accident."

"What about it?" The involuntary swallow proved just how unexpected this topic was, and how nervous it made me. I can tell when people lie, but somehow that had never improved my ability to do so.

"Since when do you need riding lessons?"

At least that answer was simple enough. "Since Regina saw the condition I was in after returning from patrol the other night."

"So she just decided she'd show you how to ride properly?"

I sighed. "I'm the Captain of the Guard, it's kind of sad that I don't know how to ride a horse after three years without needing to rest for a week afterwards."

"Right and how exactly did you manage to fall off?"

Regina and I really should have planned this all better, I really do know next to absolutely nothing about horses. I can mount them and I can ride them, anything more and - I really should have someone teach me about them. "I don't know, something spooked the horse. Why are we even talking about this?"

"I ran into Killian, he was asking about you."

"And?" I was mentally kicking myself with that one word, my voice had changed pitch without so much as consulting me. I'm an awful liar, I need to let people know these things the second we meet. _"Hi, I'm Emma and I can't lie worth shit, please never put me in a position where that skill is a requirement and we can totally be friends."_

One look and I knew she'd caught it. "And he mentioned how convenient it was that you got injured after pissing off Regina."

I should have known he'd be the first one to figure out something about the story we gave was suspicious, damn pirate was too smart for his own good. "Yeah well, he needs to stop shit stirring."

"It does sound..."

Frustrated with where this was leading and knowing she wasn't the kind of person to just let something go, I interrupted her. "I don't care how it sounds."

"Emma, I don't know why you're defending her but this.." she gestured where I lay. "This isn't okay."

As bad as I felt for lying to her, it didn't stop me from getting angry with what she was implying. Regina is the one that hurt me, sure but it was an accident. I wasn't some battered housewife who wouldn't leave her abusive partner out of some absurd belief that love would eventually change things for the better. "I'm defending her because you're accusing her of doing something you have no proof of! What the hell is your problem anyway?"

Her expression of concern hardened and it was obvious how much control she was exerting to resist her own anger by the slight strain in her voice. "Caring about my friend is a problem now, is it? Well excuse me for being concerned that you're lying to protect someone who thinks it's okay to break your ribs as a punishment for bruising her ego."

"Again, you're assuming she's the one responsible. I fell off a fucking horse, alright?" I closed my eyes and shook my head, composing myself before calmly adding. "That's it. Killian got into your head and screwed with you, she's been taking care of me and you're being ridiculous."

Just as I finished, the door flew open and Regina walked in. "I think it's time you left."

Red stood from where she sat in the corner of the room and as she moved to leave, she paused before Regina. "You need to tell her the truth before she's too far gone and you end up either breaking her heart or killing her." Without waiting for a reply, she was gone and I was left to stare in confusion at a very pissed looking Queen.


	7. Chapter 7

For a while, Regina simply stood there staring at me and as much as I wanted to ask about what had just happened, I was more interested in studying her and the extensive range of emotions that had followed Red's departure. Different expressions appeared on her beautiful face, fading only to be replaced by another. One by one, the walls came down to reveal a woman who seemed the exact opposite of someone worthy of a being called the Evil Queen.

When she finally moved, she gestured toward the door that closed a moment later and made herself comfortable beside me. Without a single clue about what to do or say, I chose to lay there in the ever-increasing silence until she decided for the both of us.

"I don't want to tell you."

The words did nothing to dampen my curiosity, in fact they did more to confuse me than anything. I couldn't - wouldn't - force her to tell me anything, she was the Queen for shit sakes. "Then don't."

"You're infuriatingly accommodating."

It didn't seem like much of an insult, but it wasn't really a compliment either and I figured she expected a response, so I said what made sense. "You're the Queen, you're entitled to your secrets."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was shaking her head at me. "My secrets will one day lead to your treason."

That got my attention and while I would have preferred not to move because it still hurt, I didn't feel comfortable laying in bed when it seemed I was about to be part of a serious conversation. I managed to pull myself upright without too much grimacing, though what little there was seemed enough to warrant her concerned scrutiny. "I would sooner lay at your feet and beg for death, than betray you."

Her eyes snapped to mine, searching for something as she spoke, her voice softer now that I had to lean in to hear - and fuck if that didn't hurt just a little bit. "I'm not very good at trusting people."

Having heard all the tales of the Evil Queen from the men and women I served with, from the servants who thought their conversations went unnoticed and from simple villagers who talked a little too freely when intoxicated, I had to admit I was a little proud of the confession. "And yet, unlike the rest of your Guard, you haven't taken my heart. If that is your will, take it."

As amusing as it was to see her shock, laughing would be stupid and counterproductive, so I resisted and waited for her to recover. "You know about that?"

I shrugged. "I've heard stories."

Her eyes narrowed. "And you would submit yourself to that? A life of servitude, of no free will?"

It was truly baffling that she didn't understand that I had done that exact thing when I swore fealty to her. If she ordered me to do something, I would either do it or be killed for disobeying her. Honestly, living without a heart would only make serving her easier. It was that thought that reminded me of something that had been drilled into me since day one, an apt phrase that was likely to offend her perhaps a little less than my own words would. "I have sworn a life of servitude, your will is my will."

"Would you stop quoting your lessons and just.."

Tilting my head at the sound of frustration in her voice, I asked. "Just what?"

She sighed. "Be yourself, say what you think. Stop being my damn Captain and be a person, be Emma."

I did laugh this time and it was strange and mocking in a way that would later cause me to frown when I thought about it, but it was nonetheless deserved. I found it ironic that she wanted me to be the person that was responsible for the situation I was in. "And why would I do that? In the mood to break some more of my bones?"

My heart lurched at the pained look she gave and my mind screamed at me to take it back, to apologise for hurting her but I knew if I did, then nothing would change. Maybe she was right and it was time for me to be myself, was stability and protection really worth sacrificing who I was?

"Th.. it was.."

"An accident?" As much as I wanted to accept what she had said as truth, I couldn't bury my doubts, not when I knew she was keeping secrets from me.

"You don't believe me? You think I wanted to hurt you?"

And God just the sound of her voice then made me feel like a complete arse, this woman beside me was so unlike the Regina I knew that it made me question everything. Rather than the strict, demanding and sometimes downright unstable Queen of stories told to keep small children in line, she was both so much more and so much less in that moment. I heard the shock and confusion and I could only assume that stemmed from the fact that maybe no one had ever questioned her before - but it was the hurt, the fear that I didn't believe her that stood out. Was I someone she considered important, did what I think truly matter, was she simply trying to manipulate me or was this just another side of her?

"Before throwing me against the wall, you were trying to make me scream. You expect me to just believe that the Evil Queen had a change of heart?"

There was another flash of pain before she stood and began to pace the room, I could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to find her words. Minutes passed where neither of us spoke and by the time she did, my patience had worn thin. "I.."

I had started to think maybe it wasn't that she didn't have the words, but maybe she just couldn't come up with a good enough lie. So rather than letting her continue, I shook my head and interrupted her. "I don't want to believe you did this to me on purpose, so if you were about to lie to me then don't bother."

Anger clouded her eyes when she stopped pacing to look at me but the confidence I had in my assumption being right didn't allow me the option of backing down. My gaze wandered from hers to the door and back again, a silent challenge for her to leave if this was too much. It was what she wanted, she had asked me to be myself and this was who I am, so it was up to her whether she could accept me.

I watched as she glanced over to the door with a frown and when her eyes returned to mine, the anger had dissipated. She was still hesitant, but the slight incline of her head told me she acknowledged my offer and that by returning to the bed, she had made the choice to stay. "I changed my mind."

The words threw me as our conversation seemed to have vanished from my mind entirely, likely it was still trying to process the fact she hadn't set me on fire and taken the opportunity to be done with me. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "I threw you against the wall because I changed my mind. I still wanted you to scream, but there was a more enjoyable way to get what I wanted."

"Oh." Okay, so I sounded a little more disappointed than I should have considering what had actually happened, but I couldn't help that I had a rather active and vivid imagination - and the thoughts that came to me upon hearing those words were reason enough to be a little distracted from the seriousness of the moment.

"I didn't think you'd resist then."

Our shared attraction wasn't much of a secret, between us or anyone else with eyes that had seen even a small fraction of our interactions, it was obvious. It made an odd kind of sense, I mean I really don't think I would have resisted and something tells me she would have stopped if I had. "So when you stopped.."

"It had nothing to do with your disobedience, I could see all that anger in your eyes and I felt this.. need to unleash it."

As appealing as the thought was, we really needed a change of subject before I re-injured myself and I thought- well, if I was expecting her to trust me then maybe I needed to do a little opening up of my own. "I've been slipping recently."

"What do you mean?"

I smiled at the genuine curiosity I could hear in her voice and while I didn't have much hope for her understanding my problem any better than I did, I explained anyway. "Ever since I moved into this room, bits of the real me have started appearing."

"Perhaps it's because you're more comfortable now and you don't feel the need to pretend any more."

That had occurred to me already, but if that were the case then it should have happened long before now, no there was definitely something about the room or the palace in general, or even Regina herself. "Maybe, but I've been so many people in my life, it doesn't make sense that being this is so difficult."

"This isn't the first time then?"

I hesitated as I wondered how much I should admit to and - for some unknown reason - she seemed to take that as a reason to shift closer to me. I can't explain it, but it relaxed me to the point where I figured it was better to continue. "When I escaped from the people who abducted me the first time, I went on the run and changed my identity, I ended up with a new one every few months."

"So Emma Swan isn't your real name?" The way she asked, it reminded me of one of those kids who would hang on to every word of a story as if it were the most fascinating thing they had ever heard - it made me smile.

"Emma is my original name, but it had been years before I used it again. When I was younger I had this family where the mother had this obsession with comparing the children in her care to different birds, she said I had the heroic heart of a Swan. Little Swan was her nickname for me, at least until she had to give me back."

"Is that why you chose it?"

"Because I have a heroic heart?" Her nod caused me to chuckle and I shook my head. "No, it's more of a reminder, that even the good in life doesn't last long. I suppose the meaning had its appeal to the naïve child in me that hasn't quite learned how to let go of its fancies and act like an adult."

The questions stopped for a while and we both sat quietly in the slowly darkening room, the only sounds were those of the servants that bustled around the palace and the soft clinking metal of armoured guards as they passed by my door on their patrol of the halls. I had started to wonder if I had shared too much, that opening up might not have been the best thing to do and it made me restless.

I must have begun fidgeting at some point because I was startled out of my thoughts when she placed her hand on top of mine, squeezing gently before she frowned at the gesture and pulled away. "Why are you sharing this with me?"

I sighed and leaned my head against the wall, my eyes closing as I replied. "I want you to know you can trust me, even though I think that maybe you already do."

"Oh?"

"There has to be a reason I'm the only guard that still possesses my heart, why you come to check on me twice a day and stay afterwards.." I cracked an eye open to gauge her reaction and the interested gaze staring back at me was a surprise, especially as I had expected denial or even hostility. It was enough - to let slip a secret I had kept to myself for the last three years.

"And why you made sure I was taken care of when you found me that day in the forest."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is a flashback.

Cold. It was the first thought I had as my mind tried to claw its way back to consciousness. It felt as though I had been buried beneath the snow and as my senses came back to me, the shivers set in and my body began to shake violently. I wanted to open my eyes, try to find out where I was and why I was so god damn cold but just as I was about to, there was a sound - a voice - and it was only then that I realised I was being carried. I hadn't been able to make out what had been said, but it dampened my desire to see and I kept my eyes closed. I wondered if maybe this was another test, another drug injected into me to make me think I was cold. If that was the case, then there was a scientist out there who needed a solid punch to the throat.

"Shhh!" It came out as an agitated hiss - not the kind you gave when you heard something and were trying to listen for it, but the kind where you were actually tired of listening and just wanted some peace and quiet. Clearly whoever it was, wasn't in a very good mood.

The chest my head rested against rumbled and the low growl that followed only seconds later seemed so inhuman, that it almost overcame my sense and forced my eyes open. "Would you stop shushing me?! Do you want her to die? She's freezing!"

"What did you expect? she's been out here for who knows how long in the middle of winter." Well that had to be the sexiest voice I had ever heard. If wherever she was, is where they were taking me then I had no complaints. Except the possible dying part, the first woman had a point if the bone-chilling pain was an indication of the state I was in.

"Can't you do something, poof us to a healer maybe? Incase sh.." Yes, poof me - Wait, healer? Where the fuck was I that people referred to doctors as healers, Sherwood Forest?

"No. I do that and then people will know who I am. We've been over this, the less people who know, the less chance she has of finding out." As the woman spoke, a hand was placed against my head and a warmth spread through my veins, the stinging pain of the cold disappearing entirely as I relaxed in the arms that carried me.

"Who is she?"

"She is the reason I didn't cast the curse." My mind took over at the word 'curse' and I began to carefully test my body for restraints without alerting either of them. I wasn't bound - at least not at the wrists - but when I tried to test the lower half of my body, a familiar pain shot straight through my leg and I knew instantly that running was out of the question. My ankle was broken.

"She.. what? She's Sn..."

The hand returned and the feeling that passed through me was different, still warm but easing more than just the cold. It was as though something was soothing my very soul, my mind clouded as what little strength I possessed drained from my body and the last words I heard floated to the back of my mind as I fell into a deep sleep. _"I swear if you finish that sentence, I will skin you and have your fur made into a new rug for my bedroom."_

* * *

The second time I woke up, I could have sworn I was dead. Whatever I was laying on bordered on being so unbelievably soft that it was almost uncomfortable. Not physically, more an emotional discomfort. If I wasn't dead, then I wanted to live right here and never move again. If that wasn't enough, I was surrounded in warmth and, remembering how cold I had been the first time I woke - this was Heaven in comparison.

"I think she's waking up." The deep voice was unfamiliar, definitely not belonging to either of the women from last time.

After a minute or two of silence, in which I assumed they were waiting - I opened my eyes - and almost immediately I was overcome with the sudden urge to laugh. Before me was a man, decked out in a full suit of plate armour - minus the helmet cradled in his arm - and with an honest to God sword strapped to his waist. "Nice outfit, Bedivere."

The man frowned down at me before he stepped to the side to reveal a rather attractive woman, who introduced herself with a smile. "I'm Red and this is Graham."

My first thought was, who named their child after a colour - but that seemed slightly insulting. While confused and somewhat skeptical of my current safety, I didn't think it would be wise to offend anyone and as I had recognised Red's voice the second she spoke, I knew she had been one of the woman responsible for saving me from freezing to death. "Am I dreaming, or is he really dressed as a Knight?"

"I am a Knight." He smiled.

Grimacing, I managed to push myself up so that I sat with my back against the headboard. "So I'm dreaming, got it."

Red frowned before she shook her head at me. "No, you're awake and about time too. You've been out for three days."

I sighed and closed my eyes, thinking that maybe if I went back to sleep, I would wake up somewhere normal as I muttered a response. "Must have been some really good drugs."

"Drugs?"

My eyes snapped back open and I stared at her, trying to figure out if she were being serious but she was hard to read, which was strange because I was generally pretty good at it. Eventually I just shrugged and dismissed the question with one of my own. "Where am I?"

"You're at the tavern."

I blinked and waited to see if there was more, but nothing was forthcoming. "Um.. could you be a little more specific?"

Red tilted her head curiously. "the Enchanted Forest? You're currently within the Lands of Queen Regina."

"Known more infamously as the Evil Queen." Graham added.

"Enchanted Forest and... the Evil Queen." I glanced between them both and I knew they found my disbelief strange, which was funny considering I found their story complete and utter batshit crazy.

"Yes."

"Right, are you about to tell me I'm a Princess? Because if so, I gotta tell ya I'm not all that fond of dresses." I laughed, but it cut short at the sight of the look they both directed my way.

Red shrugged a moment later and smiled once more. "I suppose you could be a Princess, though we were kind of hoping you could tell us who you are."

For the first time, I took in my surroundings. The weathered wood of the walls, the bare floors and the furniture that looked as though it belonged in Medieval times. By the time my eyes returned to them, questions continued to form in my mind and the last identity I had chosen slipped from my lips. "I'm Emma.. Emma Swan."

The second the name left my mouth, Graham bowed before he turned on his heel and left the room. When I looked to Red for an explanation, she merely shrugged and continued to smile at me as we sat there in silence.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is not a flashback.

A week after our conversation, Regina had come into my room and informed me that I was officially off bed rest. However, since I was still in the process of healing, I had been relegated to the position of babysitter. That wasn't how she saw it, not that it mattered. Regardless of what one called it, the job itself was a huge show of her trust in me. It was a job that generally required a whole contingent of soldiers due to the Queen being insanely paranoid but as he was as bound to the Castle as I was, she was content to trust his safety to me.

My charge, Prince Henry was sat within the library, studiously bent over his books while his tutor droned on in the background - a tutor who I'm fairly certain is related to Bertha on account of the fact their mannerisms and ages were so strangely similar. The striking difference between them - besides the gender thing - was that he had to be at least twice her age. I was starting to wonder if Regina's entire household staff were reincarnated fossils.

For the next few weeks, in between strengthening myself for my return to duty and the late night visits from the Queen, I was responsible for the safety of the beloved son. I was stationed at the only entrance to the library during his studies, I accompanied him on his riding lessons - where I had been ordered to practice on improving my own. I was expected to aid in Henry's training, focusing mainly on stances and technique while Graham tested his attention to my lessons through sparring. The improvement Henry showed once placed under our tutelage, was remarked upon by Regina the last time she spectated one of his sessions.

As far as duties go, it could have been worse. The Prince was intelligent, entertaining and rather mature for his age. He was a lot more pleasant to be around than most adults, he enjoyed talking about his mother and he especially delighted in calling me his White Knight.

When I asked him why he felt the need to introduce me as such, he reminded me of the time I saved him and surprised me with a detail I had been unaware of. He said I had glowed - that an aura of golden light had surrounded us while we ran. I had been so caught up in outrunning the bandits that chased us with their bows and arrows, that I hadn't noticed. Intent on keeping him safe and getting as far away from them as I could, I had no idea my magic was responsible for the ease with which we escaped.

I panicked. He was just a child, you couldn't trust them with secrets. How was I supposed to tell him he needed to keep that to himself? I couldn't. So I did the next best thing - I went to Regina that night and yelled at her. I admit now, that wasn't the best thing in the least, but she surprisingly let me do so and reassured me that she would speak to him. That was three days ago and he had yet to bring it up again - perhaps I had been wrong about children after all.

"That is all for today, Master Henry. I believe the Queen is expecting you for your riding lesson."

Just as his tutor dismissed him, the doors to the library were flung open and in walked the Queen herself. There was a glint of amusement in her eyes as she looked from myself to the Prince, her voice teasing as she spoke to her son. "I do hope you're not planning to sneak away to read some more."

Henry grinned as he stacked his books neatly before he moved to his mother, grabbing my hand along the way and dragging me behind him - which seemed to add to her amusement. "I didn't know you would be joining us today, mother."

Regina smiled down at him. "I thought I would surprise you, besides someone has to make sure the Captain has been doing as she's told."

"My Queen, I am appalled that you would doubt my willingness to obey your _every_ command." Her smile turned mischievous and the glint had become somewhat lustful as she set it upon me, but she continued on to the stable without a word - while her Prince and Captain trailed behind, like two loyal puppies.

* * *

Henry rode ahead as Regina and I followed at a trot, keeping him in our sights while allowing him the freedom to ride as he pleased. Our horses kept pace with one another, and our knees occasionally brushed together. Neither of us had seen fit to begin conversation as we both seemed content with the silence. I had plenty of questions I wanted to ask, thoughts I easily became lost in. But while I knew she now preferred me to be myself, I sensed she had been building up to broaching something as we rode. So I waited and wondered, until she spoke.

"We found the children."

Feeling her eyes on me, I glanced sideways and kept my expression blank as I asked. "Oh? We're talking about this now, are we?"

She nodded as her gaze returned to the front. "I think I've made you wait long enough."

Well at the very least, one of the questions I had would be answered. "Right, so what happened?"

"It appears Snow White is searching for her daughter."

It took a moment for the information to sink in. Snow White, as in the Seven Dwarves, pure as the driven snow, supposed good guy and arch-nemesis of the Evil Queen - was abducting children. "And.. she decided kidnapping was the way to go about that?"

She chuckled. "Due to a truce we have had for the last five years, she couldn't very well attack me openly."

I didn't understand. People broke truces all the time, right? When I didn't respond, she turned to me once more and the confusion must have shown on my face because before I could ask, she elaborated. "The truce is a magically bound contract, which means it is unbreakable unless you're prepared to pay the rather severe consequences."

Without knowing more than I currently did about magic, I figured the specifics of that conversation could wait until later and focused on the more immediate topic. "Okay, did she manage to find her daughter?"

"No and she won't."

I already had so many questions. How she managed to go missing in the first place, how she ended up so far from home and what the hell all of this had to do with me. Ultimately though, I was more interested in what the Queen planned to do with her. "Why not?"

She seemed to study me briefly and I had no idea what she expected to find, but she shook her head a moment later and replied. "She's missing a very crucial piece of information, one which I am in possession of and have no immediate plans to share."

"I'm assuming that includes with me." I wasn't sulking - rather the opposite. She had shared more with me than I thought she would and while I knew there was information being left out, I was grateful to her because now I had one less thing to worry about.

My eyes dropped as she reached over and placed her hand on my thigh, and the light squeeze forced me to lift my gaze once more - the warmth of the eyes and smile I found looking back at me made my heart flutter against my chest. "There are certain things I will tell you in due time. For now, I wanted you to know they had been found, you may notice a few of the older villagers missing in the days to come as I had them sent to the White Kingdom to be with their children."

At that last bit, my brow furrowed and my confusion was even more obvious with my next question. "Why didn't you just get them back?"

She sighed. "Because the only way she would agree was if I returned the Princess to her."

Right, that made sense. "Which you don't want to do."

"I made a deal, one I have no intention of breaking and it involves her. So while I may not want to, I also have no choice." Typical that she would sate my curiosity with one statement, only to bring it back in full force with another. Unfortunately, when she took back her hand and urged her horse forward, it was clear she was done with the conversation.


	10. Chapter 10

Regina came to my room that night and sat at the end of the bed with her back to me. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, if I was meant to say something or.. I don't know. Ever since I had revealed to her that I knew she had saved me the day that I arrived here, we had spent every night together - talking, getting to know each other. She seemed just as interested in the person I was, the person behind her Captain as I was in the one behind the Queen; but each of those nights had been spent in her garden.

The first few times had been difficult, uncomfortable more than anything else. Eventually my nervousness, her hesitance, the spurts of anger that overcame one of us when the other overstepped a boundary - they faded, slowly peeled away under our shared resolve to remain the stubborn people that we are. It never mattered how the night before ended because we knew that we would both return the next.

For some reason, tonight was different and I didn't know why. Once again I felt nervous, confused and a little bit suspicious. I trusted her of course, but this was a woman who despised sudden alterations in routine and- well, what the hell did she call this? But just as I was about to question her, she spoke. "I asked Graham if you were done with your training and he said you'd gone to bed."

Obviously she wouldn't have needed to come all this way to the opposite side of the castle to confirm Graham's claim, so there had to be more to it than that and I found myself feeling somewhat giddy at the prospect of her being incapable of merely waiting another hour. "If that were your only reason for being here, I imagine you could have used your mirror to see that wasn't true."

"Yes and I did."

There was humour in her voice, as if she already knew where my line of thought was headed which seemed reason enough to finish it. "Yet still, you are here. Either something bad has happened or -"

She stood from the bed and turned to stare down at me with a small smile playing across her lips. "Or... I got impatient."

With an incline of my head, I returned her smile and patted the spot beside me. "At least that means we can avoid the trek to the garden."

My smile remained as she came around to the other side of the bed, her habit of always seeming regal continued to amuse me as I watched her mimic my position. It all looked so proper, the care she took with her dress as she sat down, the way her back rested perfectly against the headboard and the grace in which she crossed her legs at the ankles - It was unusual how she could look both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

"So.." I began.

When I said nothing further and it was obvious I had nothing more to contribute, she chuckled. "Problem?"

My mouth opened and closed a few times as I considered a way to word my thoughts without sounding like a nervous teenager. When I came up with no alternative, I rolled my eyes and just said what I was thinking. "We're in my bedroom."

She hummed. "It's hardly the first time."

I nodded. "On my bed."

The humour in her tone returned, accompanied by the upturned quirk of her lips. "As I said, hardly the first time."

"But I'm not injured anymore." Obviously dumb observations were my forte for the night.

Her head lolled to the side as she faced me, her grin perfectly visible now as she raised her eyebrow. "I could be persuaded to alter that, if you're so inclined."

I laughed - because of course she could be considerate and threatening in the same sentence. "How thoughtfully sadistic of you."

Her grin widened as her eyes flashed with mischief. " _Anything_ for your comfort, dear."

"Right, it has nothing to do with the fact you enjoy causing pain." I teased.

She waved her hand dismissively and the small, barely noticeable wrinkle of her nose had me melting - Gods she could be adorable. "I'm the Evil Queen, that goes without saying."

I frowned at that, it still annoyed me that people had the gall to label someone as evil. It belonged in story books where black and white were clear cut, not the real world where there existed an abundance of grey. "Seriously, what is up with that title?"

"Meaning?"

"I mean you're the only monarch with a nickname. Queen Snow, King James, King Midas. Why are you the Evil Queen and not simply Queen Regina? I get that you've killed people, but I doubt you're any worse than the rest."

She looked at me - I mean really looked at me then, a bemused expression on her face. I had the distinct feeling she sort of began to pity me the longer she stared. "That.." she paused and shook her head. ".. is debatable. However, it was Snow White that labelled me as such. You know the story, do you not?"

No, that definitely was not what she had wanted to say and it was clear to a degree that this was as close to a change of subject as one could get while still somehow managing to stay on topic. "I know a story, yes. Two of them, actually. I question the accuracy of the one from my world and I only have half of the other."

She blinked, then frowned and shifted until her entire body faced me. "Your world knows of this one?"

"Not exactly, you're kind of a uh.. fairy tale there. Characters from our imagination used to teach children lessons."

"Delightful." Having grimaced beforehand, it was somewhat of a giveaway as to how she truly felt about the information.

Instead of calling pointless attention to an insignificant lie, I decided to go a more educational route. "Not really. You're depicted as an old, evil crone with vanity issues."

Her eyes widened innocently as she placed a hand over her chest. "Me? Vain?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Yes. Because being the evil, old crone that you are- obviously your lack of vanity is where my disagreement comes from."

"And what is it you disagree with, hmm?"

I thought about it and then realised I really didn't even need to. The tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves seemed wrong about practically everything so far. I mean sure, I had heard that the poisoned apple thing had happened, but aside from that? "Well, the old crone part is extremely unbelievable considering I've seen you with my own eyes but.. I'm also beginning to question the evil as well."

"Are you disappointed? I could start pushing the elderly over in the street."

I kept my face perfectly straight as I offered my own suggestion. "I was thinking more along the lines of rounding up a group of children, planting a cauldron in the square and holding a cooking competition each night."

She snorted. "The person who creates the most creative and tastiest dish of the children wins a week-long reprieve from the dungeons."

My stomach chose then to alert us both to the fact I hadn't yet had dinner and I glanced down at it, feigning horror as I mumbled. "I swear, I'm not a cannibal." Her responding laughter was infectious.

* * *

 

We made our way through the left-wing of the castle, down to the kitchens where Regina began pulling things from the stores. I half-expected a group of servants to appear and usher us out of the room while they prepared our meal, as though Regina would send for them and pull them from their beds. It wasn't much of a surprise that it didn't happen considering we had been together the entire time and unless she was telepathic - which I suppose is a possibility given who she is - she hadn't contacted anyone since coming to my room.

The more items she pulled out and placed on the counter, the harder my mind and stomach worked to convince me to risk my life and climb up there to stuff my face. Within seconds of the first cut of the knife through salted pork, I darted forward and snatched the slice, popping it into my mouth before she could stop me. "Making your own food? Shock and awe."

She rolled her eyes and swatted me belatedly. "I'm a Queen, not an invalid."

As I watched the knife glide smoothly through meats, cheeses and fruit, I ignored the sounds of my stomach as best I could and distracted myself with conversation. "I've been thinking.."

She interrupted me as she arranged the platters of food, feigning concern with a smirk. "Does your head hurt? Do you need me to soothe the pain?"

"You know, you're much nicer when you're being a flirtatious tease. Right now you're all sassy and mean."

Eyebrow raised, she handed me one of the platters before picking up her own and moving toward the dining hall, talking over her shoulder as she went. "I wouldn't want to bore you by becoming predictable."

I scoffed and picked at the food while I followed behind. "Bore me? Your outfits alone could keep me entertained for years."

"Why Captain, are you admitting your attraction to me?"

Trick question, I'd have to be brain-dead not to be attracted to this woman and she damn well knows it. "No, I'm saying I like to admire your cleavage, two totally different things."

She sighed as she placed her food down and pulled out her seat. "To think of all the effort I put into my appearance, it's always the breasts that get the attention."

I let my eyes roam purposely slow over each curve of her body, allowing her the time to catch me leering before I took a seat. "My Queen, every inch of you has my attention." I paused to wink at her before adding. "I just happen to worship the very best of you."

She chuckled as she flicked her wrist, conjuring the two, dangerously full goblets of wine that appeared beside our platters. "As much as I enjoy feeling like a piece of meat.. and I truly do. I can't help but wonder what it was you were thinking before this welcome appreciation of my assets."

"Oh right, that." Having enjoyed the distraction, I almost regretted bringing that up. Hesitating, I reached for the goblet and drained almost half of it before I admitted what had been on my mind then. "I was curious about the truce you mentioned, between yourself and Snow White."

I could plainly see the Queen returning, the masks and walls coming back in to place which caused me to now completely regret mentioning the truce at all. I tried to shrug off the feeling of dread, knowing it was too late to back out now. "I just.. wanted to know how it was possible for her to enter your Kingdom and take those kids without breaking the truce."

"Oh." I wasn't sure if the dread I felt was suppose to fade or intensify at the sound of relief, but I was certainly confused now. "It was to prevent acts of aggression, she brought physical harm to no one doing what she did."

That personal barrier where I breath and draw a line against the rest of the world – slowly building into a bubble of exasperation and annoyance. A truce against physical harm, I mean really has no one in this world heard of emotional or mental scarring. "Seriously? It protects you against war and assassinations, that's it?"

"She's Snow White, I didn't require protection from anything else." she shrugged.

"And what of your people?"

She studied me curiously, head tilted to the side, lips pursed. Minutes passed in what I can only assume was time she took to think, which just served to annoy me further and her words certainly didn't help. "What of them? She may consider me to be evil, but she would not hold the people I govern to blame, they're perfectly safe."

"She kidnapped their children!" I immediately blushed, embarrassed by the outburst and perhaps a little fearful of the repercussions.

I sighed my relief when all she did was shrug once more. "She was searching for her daughter and she knows me well enough to know I would not assist her, especially when I am the one she blames for having to send her away to begin with."

Recalling the brief conversation that day I had been found, I didn't need to ask. "Because you were going to curse them?"

My relief was short lived when she snapped. "How did you know about that?"

"I.. overheard Red mentioning it to you that day in the forest."

Whatever she was about to say was interrupted by the doors to the hall being thrown open, a member of her personal guard entering a moment later.

"What is it, Clive?" she growled.

"The Blue Fairy is here, your Majesty. She has requested your presence." I could pin-point the exact second the Queen returned in full force. Her expression now blank, posture rigid as she pushed back her chair to stand.

"Apologies, Captain- it seems I have a guest to greet." I moved to perform the courtesy farewell, only for her to halt the action by raising her hand, her gaze softening as she caught my eye. "Finish your meal, we can continue this tomorrow night."

I watched her leave with a frown and made note to find out more about that curse.


	11. Chapter 11

The first time it happened, I was in the training yard with Henry. It was the day after the Blue Fairy arrived and I was helping the Prince with his defence, he was getting pretty good at it too. When the messenger came, he conveyed the Queen's sincerest apologies that she wouldn't be able to make our evening rendezvous in the garden. While I looked forward to the evenings, I knew that being the Queen meant Regina would have to postpone them at least some of the time and with that in mind, I thanked him for letting me know and sent him on his way.

The second time, I was on my way back from escorting the Prince to his room. I was tired and hungry, neither of which inspired me to be in a good mood, so I was perhaps a little more temperamental than I would have otherwise been had someone not watched where they were going. After a dose of self-inflicted guilt as a result of almost making the messenger cry, it didn't really hit me that the Queen had cancelled once again until I reached my room. By then I just wanted to go to bed, not caring that I hadn't eaten and hoping I would feel less down-trodden in the morning.

Now, it was about to happen again and I was fed up. When the messenger approached, I raised my hand to him before he even opened his mouth. I didn't need to hear it, I hadn't even caught a glimpse of her since that night, so obviously she was avoiding me. Whatever reason she had, she hadn't shared it with me and if this was going to continue, then I wasn't going to let it bother me.

"You'll return to her to confirm you've delivered your message, yes?"

The boy nodded.

"This the same message as last time?"

Another nod.

"Then when you return, please tell the Queen that she needn't bother any more. These constant interruptions to my day serve no one and I will no longer be expecting her company on any future night."

The utter look of terror on the boys features served as a reminder that while I may receive special treatment from time to time, she was still the same woman who instilled fear in her subjects and I shook my head, dismissing the idea of upsetting the Queen via small children. "Okay, I don't want to get you killed."

When he sighed his relief, I decided a message as Captain would be better received rather than the one I would have preferred but ultimately would have had to deliver myself if I didn't want anyone executed. "Just tell her I appreciate her consideration, but these messages are unnecessary and I will no longer be expecting her presence during the evening. If she wishes to resume, then she knows where to find me."

After he left, the day continued without incident and having heard no whispers of a sudden death in someone's family, I was confident that the messenger would reappear in time - delivering disappointment and threats to all the other unfortunate souls who had pledged their loyalty to the Queen.

I threw myself into the daily routine that I had adapted and would continue with in the weeks to come – taking the Prince to his lessons in the library, horse riding and then training with Graham before returning him to the castle. I knew my mood was deteriorating throughout the day and my melancholy began to draw attention from every direction. At first I tried to ignore the not so subtle looks that people started to give me because no matter how his mother had been acting, I didn't want to ruin the day for Henry.

When it came time to retire for the night and he was safely behind closed doors, I made my way to the tavern where I hoped to drown my misery. Red and Graham were both inside already, waiting for me to join them and after signalling for my usual, I walked over to them and sat down.

"How is my second-in-command faring on this most wonderful of days?" I grimaced at his disgustingly cheerful mood and swatted his arm away as he went to slap me on the back.

"Commander, you're supposed to shy _away_ from the Captain today unless you want to be zapped by the giant thunderous cloud above her head." I rolled my eyes as she laughed and resigned myself to putting up with them while I drank.

As the night progressed and the conversation became even more asinine than normal, I started noticing that the looks I had been receiving throughout the day had progressed from furtive glances to outright staring.

The indifference that had been slowly weaving itself around me faded, and the sound of my half-finished mug slamming down to the table was easily heard over the laughter and nauseating jubilation of the patrons. I came to my feet and started for the door, ignoring the faintly drunken calls of both Red and Graham as they tried to convince me to return.

* * *

While the walk back to the palace did wonders for my sobriety, it did nothing to dampen the frustration I felt at having been discarded so easily and without explanation by the Queen. I guess it ended up bothering me after all but honestly, what type of person would take that kind of thing lying down? One who let fear dictate their actions and if my not fitting that description hadn't been established already, it was about to be.

As I marched through the corridors, the scowl I wore effectively redirected the curious stares from the servants. The guards were somewhat less cooperative and their attempts to engage me in conversation only added to my annoyance. Fortunately the closer I was to the Royal Quarters, the Queen's preference for her own magic protection meant they were more spread out and I wasn't forced to tolerate a passing patrol every half a minute.

Coming to the door I suspected to be the room I would find her in, I paused in my move to fling it open when I heard a voice I didn't recognise coming from within. "Do you truly believe her loyalty to you will be enough to stop her from running right into his hands?"

"What are you talking about? She doesn't even know who he is."

Frowning, I leaned against the wall and continued to listen as I wondered who it was they were talking about. "No, but they do and when she tells them she's been with you for the last three years, what do you think they will do?"

"Emma wouldn't allow that." My eyes widened at the use of my name.

"You're assuming they would give her a choice."

Growling, I pushed off of the wall and shoved the doors open, completely ignoring their shocked expression as I entered the room and slammed them shut again. "Sorry to interrupt, your Majesty."

"Excuse me a moment, Blue - it seems my Captain has lost her damn mind." Before I knew it, Regina grabbed hold of my arm and dragged me into an adjoining room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Despite sensing that she sounded far more tired than she did angry, the combination of emotions I had repressed the last three days had already surfaced. Even if I had wanted to, I couldn't fake the civility and submission that her mere presence demanded. "You two are in there, talking about me and you want to know what I'm doing? Oh you have no right to be pissed at me."

Seemingly intrigued by the insubordination, she arched an eyebrow and took a step closer. "I talk about a lot of people, do you think that gives them the right to barge in on my private conversations?"

"That depends, have you been keeping secrets from them and avoided them for the last three fucking days?"

"She hasn't been avoiding you." A voice that belonged to neither of us silenced whatever her response would have been and she closed her mouth without having uttered a single word.

Glancing to the now open doorway, the sight of the fairy fuelled the anger and brought a sneer to my lips. "Who the fuck asked you?"

She moved into the room and waved the door closed, resting a hand upon the Queen's shoulder as she came to stand beside her. "Calm yourself, Captain and take a seat... unless you would rather be executed in the morning, then by all means, continue cursing the one you claim fealty to."

I tore my eyes from her, returning my attention to Regina and with one simple look, I could tell that if my life _was_ in danger, it wasn't the Queen I needed to worry about. Resisting the urge to continue yelling, I brushed past them and dropped down into one of the chairs.

Once they were both seated, Blue began speaking. "As I said when I walked in, she hasn't been avoiding you. In fact, she's spent this whole visit trying to convince me to bend the rules of our deal so that she may share some things with you."

Alarmed with the recollection of Regina's comment that night about magical contracts, the hair on the back of my neck rose. "What deal?"

"That will become clear in time."

Damned fairies and their secretive bullshit, it was like pulling teeth with these people. "You mean I'll know eventually, but you're just going to piss about and refuse to tell me now."

Her smile did little to dissuade my sudden suspicion of her. "When I feel you are trustworthy, you will know. Until then..."

"Whatever. If you're not going to tell me anything then why did I need to sit down?"

"Not one to beat about the bush, is she?"

"It's one of her charms." Regina smirked.

"Hey love-birds, still wondering why I haven't been kicked out yet." With a roll of her eyes, Regina stood and crossed to the fireplace where - within seconds - the sound of liquid being poured filled the room.

Blue fixed me with a glare that could rival the Queen's – meaning it was completely wasted on me and as soon as she realised that, she seemed to dismiss the notion of trying to intimidate me. "The conversation you so rudely interrupted was only one of many. While I will not concede to the latest request, I have agreed to others."

"I'm listening."

"Your arrival to our land was foreseen long before you appeared that day in the forest, which is why you were found and didn't simply freeze to death. I am what is known as a seer, one who-"

Cutting her off mid-sentence, I chose to simplify what was likely to be a confusing explanation and averted a potential headache. "Sees visions of the future, yeah I know what a seer is. Why is this relevant?"

Regina sighed as a goblet came into my line of sight and spoke while I accepted the offered drink. "Either you want to know, or you don't – stop interrupting her."

Having had the privilege of sampling the cider on multiple occasions, I knew how potent it tended to be and decided to make it last. If I were to have any hope of remembering this conversation, the last thing I needed was to end up getting drunk - regardless of the fact my body was in the process of a rather passionate disagreement with my mind about that thought. After taking a sip, I nodded for the fairy to continue and slumped further into the chair.

"The reason I informed the Queen of your appearance here is because I believe you would otherwise be in danger and she is the only one capable of providing you with the protection you need to keep you safe from those who wish you harm."

I don't know if she was referring to the people from my world or if she meant someone else entirely, but the concept of being in danger was such a familiar state of being for me that it seemed irrelevant in comparison to other things I wanted to ask. "And what do you get out of this?"

Regina barely hesitated but her voice was soft, surprisingly verging on the edge of shy as she answered. "When I agreed, it was for selfish reasons. What I had hoped to gain from having you in my kingdom doesn't compare to what I ended up getting. I know that doesn't answer your question, but know that having you here means far more than I ever thought it would."

Her confession in combination with the cider warming me from the inside out sapped what little remained of my anger and for the first time today, I smiled. Leaning forward, I placed my goblet on the table and looked to Blue. "You said there were a few concessions?"

Before she could respond, Regina was beside my chair once more and her hand gently gripped my shoulder as she addressed the fairy. "I believe I can handle the rest."

Blue stood and offered us both another smile that conveyed precisely how full of shit her following words were. "A pleasure meeting you, Captain." And with a nod toward the Queen, she made her exit.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Snow White voice* Porn!

When Blue was out of sight, Regina's hand remained on my shoulder as she stayed put and I tilted my head back to look up at her. Trying not to focus on the way she seemed to subconsciously knead me, I asked. "So, what's this other secret?"

Fingers paused their ministrations as she glanced down to me, resuming their movement a moment later as they traced a path up my throat, over my chin and along my jaw. "It's not much of a secret since you're already aware of the curse I didn't cast."

Holding back the disappointed sigh that came with the loss of contact when her hand fell to her side and she stepped around my chair, I distracted myself by admiring the subtle sway of hips as she crossed to her seat. "The one you were surprised I knew about?"

"Had I known you'd been eavesdropping that night..." she trailed off as she sat down. "Well, things could have been different but it's too late to dwell on that now."

After spending a significant amount of time together, I knew not to push for an explanation and filed away my curiosity on that for another time. "Okay.. so what don't I know?"

"It was given to me by a man who goes by the name of Rumpelstiltskin, he was also the one who taught me how to harness my magic. He made me believe that he wanted to help me, that by casting the curse I would have all that I desired. Only before his plan came to fruition, I learned that Snow White was pregnant."

As she talked, she appeared to be studying me for a reaction and by the crease of her forehead, I would chance a guess that my indifference to the tale confused her. All I learned from it was that Rumpelstiltskin was real and that he was no different from the other fairytale characters I grew up hearing stories about; wrong. The fact he sounded more villainous than a gold spinning, deal-for-your-baby making weirdo came as no surprise. "And this stopped you from casting it? Why?"

"Not stop, it delayed me. He told me that when I cast the curse, it would send us to another land where time would be frozen. Due to my thirst for vengeance, I decided that I would allow Snow to have her child and upon her birth, I would cast the curse and take her to raise as my own."

"I uh.. don't know what to say to that."

Clearly not expecting the admission, she sounded unsure in her belief of my response. "No?"

"Well, I've seen the kinds of things women go through during a 9 month pregnancy. Having to go through that for the rest of your life? I couldn't even imagine how much that would suck, so your whole revenge thing actually seems more like a mercy."

Running a hand through my hair, I chuckled sheepishly at how insane that sounded. "I don't approve of what you did, but I don't think it's my approval that you want and it's not like you can undo the past. Even if you could, I don't expect you would so.. really what can I say to that?"

"You're not going to accuse me of being evil and leave?"

I smirked. "It's a bit late for that, don't you think?"

The rise of her eyebrow made it clear she was going to need more of an explanation, so I did my best to provide one. "I've known who you were since I woke up in that tavern. I've heard the stories of your reign, the misery and death you've inflicted over the years and all this was before I swore my life to you. Judging and turning my back on you now, doesn't really serve a purpose or make any kind of sense."

I've known from the beginning that she wasn't someone who shared things about herself, let alone her motivations behind said things, so the silence that followed wasn't unexpected. What she was doing, here with me – it was new, something she had very little experience with. Having someone who understood but chose not to judge when they very well could, I suppose sometimes it could be just as difficult to accept as negativity, especially when _that_ is what you've come to accept from others.

When I thought enough time had passed, I prompted her to continue with another question. "So, the kid – what happened?"

She sighed in a way that made it clear she was resigned to finishing her story, even if she wasn't entirely comfortable with it. "Someone shared my plan with Snow and as soon as she gave birth, she sent the child away - I was too late."

"But you still didn't cast the curse?"

With a shake of her head, she began to explain. "I discovered a few days later that Rumpelstiltskin was the one who warned her, that the child was somehow important to him and as Snow was already suffering with the loss.."

Connecting the dots, I came to the conclusion out loud. "You made it even worse by hitting her with the fact she gave up her child for nothing, which also happened to mess with whatever Rumpelstiltskin had planned – it was payback."

"Yes."

One day, I was going to make it my mission to find out the story behind this feud - as well as I could understand exactly how fulfilling revenge was, the lengths she had gone to for hers seemed a little extreme. "Do you regret any of it?"

"I'm beginning to learn that while life comes with its fair share of hardships, the paths we travel mean nothing in the overall scheme of things. Regret is ultimately pointless, Fate will occur regardless of how one feels. The past is what made me the person I am, without it I might not have my son or even my life and I probably wouldn't have met you. Do you think I should regret the things I cannot change, when they are responsible for what little happiness I have in my life?"

As important as everything she had just said was - no matter how many times I tried to dislodge the thought, my mind refused to focus on anything other than that one, specific sentence. "I'm sorry, did you just admit that I make you happy?"

Any other time, I might have been embarrassed by the blank stare my words received and would have attempted to stumble my way through a change in subject before she laughed in my face. As it were, speech eluded me and after a minute or two of silence - rather than a laugh – she gave an exasperated sigh. "Had anyone else barged into my chambers, unannounced and without a modicum of respect, I would have set them on fire."

Ignoring the note of irritation in her voice, I stood from my chair and slowly walked over to her. "So, that's a yes then?"

She rolled her eyes. "Are you on fire?"

I pursed my lips to prevent the grin that wanted to spread across my face. "I have a feeling if I don't stop teasing you, I will be."

The corner of her mouth twitched. "That's a fair assumption."

"Well then.."

I positioned my hands on the arms of the chair where she sat, I bent down and brushed my lips against hers. While she didn't lean away, I was disappointed that she didn't immediately accept the invitation. "What are you doing?"

My stomach fluttered at the feel of the soft lips, lightly caressing mine as she spoke. A sigh of contentment escaped me, followed by my murmured question. "Aren't you tired of talking?"

When she didn't respond, I retreated a little to give her some space and smiled at the sight of her biting her lip. Coaxing it from between her teeth with a stroke of my thumb, I gave her the one chance to back out before it was too late. "Do you want me to leave?"

Shaking her head, she nipped the tip of my thumb and purred. "I very much do not want you to do that."

"Good." I ran my fingers along her jaw, curling them around the back of her neck as our lips connected. Urging her to stand with a gentle tug against her neck, I pulled her against me and slipped an arm around her waist.

What began as something tender, soon deepened and evolved into so much more. Hands threaded themselves within my hair while her tongue demanded an entrance, one that was quickly granted as I eagerly parted my lips. The instant our tongues met, my body heated with arousal and all the thoughts, the fantasies, the lust-filled glances and years worth of longing - for the woman who now had her tongue down my throat – merged and filled me with the desire to simply take her then and there.

When our mouths parted, I reached for the laces along her spine that held the sinfully tight corset in place, loosening each one before pulling it apart and tearing it from her body. With the piece gone, there was nothing in the way to prevent me from fully appreciating breasts that were shamelessly displayed day in and day out.

The second I lowered my eyes to take in the sight, she chuckled and took three steps back, providing a view that had my mouth drying instantly. The way she looked now – free from the confines of those ridiculous corsets, her lower half encased in tight, black leather as it hugged each curve – would have me on my knees, were my life not already hers.

"See something you like, dear?"

Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I soaked in every minute detail and burned the perfect vision into my brain. When our gazes finally met, I confessed my thought of just how much of an understatement that question was. "Like - doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now."

Brown eyes flashed with an unmistakable hunger and she beckoned me forward, her hand knotting in the fabric of my shirt as soon as I was close enough. With the sensation across the back of my neck as my only warning, I grasped her hips just in time as we were transported to her bedchamber in a billow of purple smoke.

* * *

When the smoke cleared, I was surprised to find myself on my back with her straddling my waist. Grinning down at me as her fingers trailed the buttons along my shirt, she expertly popped each of them open and seemed to read my mind, answering a thought I had yet to ask. "I assumed this was where you planned for us to end up."

"Well sure, I just thought it might involve a little more.. walking." My hands took on a mind of their own as they began to play along her sides, fingers lightly stroking across her ribs which elicited a shiver that pimpled her skin with goosebumps.

"Up." She tugged my shirt even as I complied with the command, whether it was because of her impatience or that she had dim-witted lovers in the past who needed emphasis to understand the obvious - I wasn't sure. And really, this was hardly the time to ask. Once she had flung the shirt to the floor, she brought her arms up around my neck and pulled me into another kiss. There was no tenderness involved in this one, the feel of our breasts pressed together had moans erupting from both of us that fuelled an already heated kiss as our tongues explored and devoured each other.

It was the hand on my chest, pushing me back that broke us apart and even before I had fully laid back down, her lips found my pulse point and latched on. As she began to suck, I arched into hands that caressed the sensitive flesh of my breasts and my own hands wandered the naked expanse of her back, nails softly scraping each time I felt the light pain of teeth as they sank into my neck.

On a path littered with lips, tongue and teeth - she made her way from collarbone to chest. The feel of her breath had my nipples harden in the second or two it took before one was engulfed in the wet warmth of her mouth. As I clung to her back with one hand, I raised the other to free her hair from its bonds and tangled my fingers through the silken strands.

Her hand travelled the length of my stomach before it came to rest above the waist of my trousers and I could feel the quirk of her lips against my breast as I squirmed beneath her, my hips bucking in an attempt to find a friction that wasn't there.

When she switched her attention to my neglected nipple, I groaned aloud as my impatience got the better of me and she chuckled - which only served to add to my frustration as it sent vibrations through me. With a murmured, "Patience." she kissed a path between my breasts and slowly descended my torso, nipping and licking every inch of skin as she went.

If I had to wait much longer, I had a feeling something was going to spontaneously combust and I couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't start with my own body. "Says the woman who magicked us on to the bed." I mumbled.

"Hush." Her tongue swirled my bellybutton before teeth bit into flesh and her fingers slipped beneath the waistband of my trousers. She scooted back until she rested between my legs and the slight pull was all the encouragement I needed as I raised my hips from the bed, eager for her to ease the throb that had built-up and bordered the edge of pain. Sliding from the bed, she removed my boots with a yank and tossed them to the floor before she peeled the form-fitting leather from my legs.

She stroked from ankle to thigh as she resumed her place between my legs, her eyes firmly fixed to my wet, aching core as she purred. "Excited, dear?"

Patience long since gone, I huffed. "I swear to God."

"That's rather inappropriate when you're already sworn to me, Captain." She smirked as she leaned in to brush her lips against mine and I gasped as her fingers suddenly and easily penetrated me, giving her the opening she needed to slip her tongue passed my lips. Pelvis firmly pressed against the back of her hand, she gave me no time to adjust to the intrusion as she began to thrust into me with her hips.

The second she was inside of me, my mind went blank and every single sense became amplified. The sound of my heart pounded in my ears, mingling with her moans as she seemed to relish fucking me – relentlessly and with unbelievable precision as she never once failed to hit the spot that would inevitably lead to my being thrown over the figurative edge.

I could feel the familiar pressure that promised a sweet release into oblivion and I did everything in my power to resist giving in so soon. I tried to focus on the kiss and the feel of soft lips, losing myself in the delectable flavour of her tongue as she consumed me but then her mouth was gone, returned to my pulse where teeth grazed and a tongue soothed. I tried to slow her down by wrapping my legs around her body but even with the decreased pace, her fingers delved just as deep, just as hard and I was quickly losing the battle to make it last.

Walls clenched around fingers as she tore her mouth away and started to whisper words in my ear, demanding that I reward her for all that she was doing to me. When her fingers curled to repeatedly stroke the rough patch of skin, I cried out her name and my body shook as it surrendered to its Queen.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More porn. Also, If you don't like Snow, you'll probably like this chapter. If you do like Snow, you're an alien. No, the porn does not involve Snow.

It had been hours since we first came to bed, hours in which our bodies sweated and writhed with one another in endless pleasure. Soon, dawn would approach and we were both expected to rise with the sun for another day of routine and duty. This is what should have gone through my mind but as I ran my hand over the taut flesh of her stomach, nothing beyond how much I still wanted her seemed important.

When exhaustion had taken its toll and pulled her into the depths of unconsciousness, sleep eluded me and I found myself captivated by the sounds of her shallow breaths and the content expression she wore as she slept. As time wore on, my body began to recover and my arousal for the woman reawakened as it became more aware of its surroundings. The way her breasts rose in the dim light of the room, the heat that radiated from her flesh and the hand that clasped my inner thigh. It was a gesture that showed she had laid claim to me even in sleep and one that – while unnecessarily possessive – made me smile all the same.

I pressed a kiss to her shoulder and felt her body stir beneath my touch, her fingers lazily brushing my thigh as her hand shifted in her slow return to consciousness. As I brought my lips across her collarbone and pressed kisses along my way to her jaw, the sleep-filled husk of her voice caressed my ears and had my legs clenching together. "Emma?"

"Yes, my Queen?" I murmured as I peppered her skin with kisses.

She breathed a sigh and seemed to take notice of where her hand resided and – much to my chagrin – she removed it. My displeasure was short-lived however, when barely a second later she had me moaning into her throat as she cupped me between the legs. "I see I need to work a little harder to tire you out."

I chuckled softly at the inaccuracy of the comment. In the other world, a night of uninterrupted sex generally ended when I was the one that passed out but with her it felt different – she was different. This wasn't a simple one-night stand - at least I hoped it wasn't - and I didn't do it to sate my body's natural desire for it. No, this time it was because I wanted her. I yearned to spend every available second together, bringing her pleasure and now that the opportunity had presented itself, sleeping seemed wasteful. The exhaustion I felt was significant and I would definitely pay for it later in the day while training but I didn't care.

With a sly grin, I lifted the fur that hid the rest of her body and gave her a once-over before speaking. "Believe me, I need sleep after everything you did to me but closing my eyes seemed like such a waste of a good view."

Amusement danced in her eyes as she rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed and putting a welcome pressure on my core as she rose to her hands and smirked down at me. "The rule of: Look, don't touch - doesn't apply in my bedchamber, Captain."

Sliding an arm around her, I raised an eyebrow and asked, "Is that so?"

"Very much so." She lowered her head and captured my mouth with her own, her tongue flitting across my lip as she began to grind against me.

Not wanting a repeat of our first time, I tightened my arm around her waist and flipped our positions, ignoring the growl the action received and the mild sting of nails as they dug into the skin of my back when I parted my lips for her.

In true Queenly fashion, she made it quite clear that; top or bottom, she was the one in control and while that unwavering need to dominate of hers tended to bother me under normal circumstances, this was a situation in which I could tolerate and even appreciate it. She didn't need my fealty or my heart, all she need do was kiss me the way she was now and she would forever own me. Lost within the intoxicating taste and feel of her mouth on mine, she had managed to slip her hand back between my legs and I knew that if I wanted to have my way, I needed to put a stop to it sooner rather than later.

When I felt her fingers attempt to separate folds, I pushed our bodies together and trapped her hand between us. She growled in protest once more, her arm struggling beneath my weight and when she finally gave in to the fact she couldn't move, she settled for rubbing her middle finger along my slit. Leaving her mouth, I sat up to take hold of her wrist and pushed her hand away and while I had known she would protest, I hadn't expected the hurt reflected in her eyes as I met her gaze.

The desire to remove it was overwhelming and I raised my hand to stroke her cheek, with a soft smile I tried to reassure her. "I want to please you."

Her bottom lip extended in a pout and her voice oozed pure sex when she responded. "Then let me touch you."

Shaking my head; amused by her blatant attempt to manipulate me, I began to string kisses down her neck and across her chest. "It's.. my.. turn." Each word emphasised with teeth as I nipped the soft flesh of her breast and before she could argue, I wrapped my lips around an already hardened nipple, flicking the tip with my tongue as her body responded and she arched into my mouth.

When her dissent reduced to nothing more than whimpers and wanton moans, I shifted my weight and nestled comfortably between her legs, staring down at swollen lips soaked with her arousal. It wasn't the first time I had tasted her but the anticipation was just as sweet, just as strong and when her hips rose to urge me on, I gave in to the unspoken demand and draped her leg over my shoulder before I lowered my mouth to her core. She let forth a guttural growl as I pressed through her folds, gathering the warm, salty juices on my tongue as the sounds of our pleasure melded together and filled the otherwise silent room.

Her hand found its way to my head and held me down as I laved attention on her pussy – although she hadn't needed to as I was addicted to the taste of her and had no intention of moving from my position. I continued to moan as she filled my mouth, sending vibrations through her that had her squirming and thrusting herself against my tongue.

When the grip tightened in my hair and I felt her nails digging into my scalp, I pressed two of my fingers to her entrance and slowly slid them inside her. Sucking her clit into my mouth, I traced it with my tongue as I began to rhythmically pump in and out in time with her thrusts.

The gasped curses that I dragged from her were getting louder, more frequent until my name tore from her throat with a strangled cry and her body shook with her release. I eased up on my attention to her sensitive nub but didn't stop completely, bringing her down from her high while claiming my reward with the soft, cleansing licks of my tongue.

After what seemed like such a short time, she stirred beneath me and I slipped my fingers from inside her and rolled away, hating the loss of contact the second it was gone but - resigned to the inevitability of having to start the day - I pushed myself off of the bed and wandered around the room to gather my clothes.

Her eyes had fluttered open by the time I found everything and she watched me dress, only choosing to speak once my shirt was back on. "Come and find me around noon, I need to speak with Snow White and I'd rather not have anyone else accompany me. Red can handle Henry's riding lesson today and I'll deal with his assigned guards for afterwards."

Half my attention focused on fastening the buttons of my shirt, I nodded at her words and muttered, "Noted."

"Emma?"

Curious of the way she purred my name, I looked to her with my eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

She crooked her finger at me with a smirk and said, "Come here."

I moved to stand beside the bed where she gestured for me to come closer. Getting the hint, I bent down and captured her lips as she clasped the back of my neck. Still naked, I couldn't resist running my hands along her body before cupping her breasts and lightly kneading them as our tongues danced together.

Breaking the kiss, she smiled and ran her fingers through my hair before she released me. "Our talks resume tonight."

Not having expected that, I blinked stupidly before a dopey grin spread across my face and with another quick peck to her lips, I replied as I made my way to the door. "As you wish." And I carried the sudden rush of euphoria all the way back to my room.

* * *

The sounds of horrified gasps and a scream - that was entirely unnecessary in my opinion - pierced the room when we appeared. It wasn't a pleasant greeting to say the least and were it not for Regina's hand on my back, I would have been tempted to find the one that made the sound so I could stab them in the throat.

There was noticeable relief that spread throughout the room when the scream died and Snow White quickly drew everyone's attention, her voice silencing those that had begun murmuring. "Regina, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

Sniffing in what was so obviously disdain for the woman, Regina waved her hand dismissively as she glared around at the people gathered. "Leave us."

I suppose my surprise was unwarranted when they obeyed the command, not when her very presence practically forced a person into submission. It just seemed odd that none of them even tried to raise a protest when one considered the fact she wasn't even their Queen. When the throne room was clear, Snow stood and descended the three short steps to the floor. Coming to stand before us, she gestured toward me and asked, "You don't usually travel with guests, who is this?"

"This is Swan, my new Knight-Captain." At hearing my last name, I rolled my eyes beneath my hood and managed to resist a sigh but at the amused glance she threw me, I knew Regina had known the purpose of the barely audible cough I gave in its place.

"Really? What happened to.." Snow tapped her chin and frowned. "Hood, was it?"

"Tragic accident." Regina supplied.

"Oh?"

"Yes, the silly man slipped into a noose. I'm still not sure if it was the loss of air that killed him or if he died of embarrassment for being so very.. clumsy." There was an absurd amount of willpower needed on my part to resist laughing, mainly because even though she wasn't telling the whole truth - it wasn't a complete lie either. In reality, Robin had been responsible for the Prince's kidnapping and he had been sentenced to hang the moment the Queen heard of his involvement. The way Snow White blanched only added to my amusement, I nearly lost it completely when Regina winked at me.

Shaking her head, Snow exhaled loudly. "How is Henry?"

"You mean the boy you orphaned? He's doing wonderfully. Really Snow, your track record with children is just terrible. Why you came and stole a dozen of them from me is beyond comprehension."

At the pained look that overcame Snow's expression, the Queen's look was positively gleeful as she continued. "First you stuff your daughter into a wardrobe and send her to who knows where, then you kill the parents of a 5-year-old boy and I believe your last scheme involved the hiring of some bandits to steal the child you made an orphan – I don't know what I would have done without my Captain here."

Any semblance of civility vanished as Snow snarled and moved until only an inch of space was between her and the Queen - who prevented me from jumping to her defence by placing her hand on my shoulder. "I sent my daughter away because of your damned curse, which you didn't cast because you knew I would regret it for the rest of my life. That boy is an orphan because of your cruelty and I tried to save him from a life with you." When I looked to her in question, she squeezed reassuringly and I lowered the hand that had shot to the hilt of my sword as Snow spoke.

The sharp bark of laughter that followed made me wince and I almost pitied the woman, knowing she was about to be verbally torn to pieces. "As opposed to a life with you? A woman who abandoned her own child for the sake of memories and the love of her nauseating, idiotic Consort? One who was responsible for the death of a sweet, innocent man because she __can't keep her mouth shut__."

I knew I was taking a risk when I spoke - as she had told me not to before we left – but I also knew what she was capable of doing when she was angry and it was rather difficult to ignore the fact she was becoming so when the hairs on the back of my neck were standing at attention. "My Queen?"

Her jaw rippled in response, but she gave a slight nod and I turned my attention to Snow. "We came to insure the Queen's subjects had arrived safely and were reunited with their children. Once confirmed, we will leave."

Snow's gaze drifted between the two of us briefly before she nodded and took a hesitant step back. She replaced her scowl with a facade of innocence and ignorance that rivalled even the Queen's own masks, something I would have no doubt been impressed by had I not been busy trying to resist beheading her where she stood. "They arrived early yesterday morning, as soon as I figured out they were the parents, I sent them to where their daughters were staying."

At that, Regina's anger seemed to evaporate in a matter of seconds and she tilted her head to the side. "Were?"

Snow sighed. "For some unknown reason, most of them decided to return to your Kingdom, they'll most likely arrive in a day or two."

"Splendid." the Queen turned on her heel and marched toward the exit, belatedly beckoning me to follow with a "Come along, Emma." thrown over her shoulder.

I watched as that mask cracked upon Snow's features and halted my turn to leave when she said my name. "Emma?"

"Captain! I'm waiting." Regina's growl pushed aside my curiosity and I ignored Snow White calling after me as I made my way to the Queen's side, a smile coming to my lips when she snaked her arm around my waist.

Even though it had taken mere seconds for her to transport us back to the palace, it hadn't been fast enough for me to avoid hearing the distraught cries of my name being repeated over and over.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I forgot to add Killian to the tags, but by the time anyone reaches this, I'll probably have corrected it so this note is completely pointless.

Tired, dirty and just wanting this day to be over, I had almost forgotten that Killian agreed to meet me at the tavern. It had been two days since Regina and I visited the White Kingdom and the cries of Snow White continued to bother me. I assumed that her daughter and I shared the same name and that was the reason for her reaction to hearing it but what if - it seemed insane, considering the lost princess is supposed to be no more than a mere child and yet, I couldn't brush off the mounting similarities as simple coincidences any longer. I needed to speak to someone who had travelled worlds and a centuries old pirate seemed like the logical place to start.

I had to hurry if I didn't want to upset the Queen by showing up late to our evening in the garden. More than that – I was afraid if I wasn't on time, then she would leave and I would miss the opportunity. I didn't really believe that one night would mean the cancellation of all future ones, but it wasn't something I was about to risk.

So maybe in my rush to the tavern I was slightly more rude to the people I passed, completely ignoring their greetings and occasionally bumping into one or – four different people without offering them an apology. If I knew how to control my magic, I could save a considerable amount of time and lessen the peasants grumbling all around me but I don't know how, so they would just have to deal with it. I was sure somewhere down the road, I'd feel guilty about it and that was something _I_ would have to deal with. Fair compromise via stupid moral compass.

Pushing open the door to the tavern, I narrowly avoided bumping into one of the serving wenches and easily navigated the way to where Killian sat as his drunken singing provided a beacon – a rather painful beacon that made my ears want to detach from my head and flee the realm - but a beacon nonetheless.

"You really should stop that warbling, someone might think there's a murder being committed on a cat." I said as I slumped into the chair across from him.

Grinning widely, he slapped the table and drained what I assumed to be rum, beckoning for a refill before slamming the now empty mug back on the table. "Jealousy gets you nowhere, love – don't criticise my envious, angelic voice."

I had to take a minute to catch my breath as my laughter subsided before I could speak again. "Uh I hate to break it to you but I would appreciate the sounds of Amos straining over what you consider singing."

"Well, he does make some beautiful sounds when he's doing his business, it's hard to compete with that kind of music." He threw a salacious smile to the woman who came and refilled his drink before he turned it on me. "What did you need to talk about?"

Ignoring the desire to grimace and slap him, I rolled my eyes instead and jumped right in with my questions. "You've been to other worlds right?"

"Most of the known ones, yes."

By known, I assumed he meant magical worlds and since that wasn't important, I moved the conversation along. "Do you know anything about the passage of time? Like if in some worlds time is faster or slower than it is in others?"

Slowly, he nodded his head. "You mean can an hour pass in one world, where only a second has passed in another?"

Glad that I didn't have to explain since I had no idea how else I would have put it if he hadn't understood, I smiled. "I was thinking more along the lines of years to decades, but yeah."

"Well in Neverland time doesn't even exist."

Logically, one could assume that non-existent time proved it wasn't the same everywhere but it didn't really answer my question, one difference didn't make every other theory plausible. "So if you're trapped in one world for twenty years, is it possible that it's only been eight in another?"

"In Neverland I was 32 for.. well I'm not entirely sure. Here, I'm 36 and continue to age gracefully. Combining all my years, I'm almost 400 years old, love. Whether by seconds, days or years – time is never exactly the same in any world. So while no land comes to mind fitting those specific parameters, it _is_ possible, yes."

Even though I had the answer that I needed, it didn't make my suspicions seem any less insane than they appeared but I knew that unless I confronted Regina with them, I wouldn't be able to let go of the questions I had and she would continue to hold on to whatever guilt she seemed to feel. I know she said she didn't regret her past but it was difficult to believe when she had admitted days earlier that she thought I would betray her and if this wasn't the secret that had her hesitant to confess, then I was at a complete loss.

"Okay, that's all I wanted to know – thank you for meeting me here."

He raised his mug in the form of a salute. "Any time, love."

* * *

In the midst of the garden behind one of her beloved trees, I stood and watched the Queen as she paced beside our bench. It turned out I had ended up being late, it wasn't by a significant amount of time but upon seeing her here, I was filled with a sense of happiness - she had waited for me. Just the sight of her gave me the confidence to step into view and once she spotted me, a brilliant smile lit up not only her eyes but her entire face. I had always thought she was beautiful but if I were being honest, her true beauty came only when a smile graced those lips.

When her mouth quickly turned down and I was treated to a sulky looking scowl, I kept my own smile in place as I walked the short distance to her. "You're late."

Standing before her, I placed my hands on her hips and smiled wider when she made no move to discourage me. "And you waited."

She sighed and draped her arms over my shoulders as she ran her fingers through my hair. "You've been acting strangely these last two days."

"Worried?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"Uh huh." I leaned in and captured her lips in a slow, lazy kiss, moaning into her mouth as she pressed herself against me. It didn't take long before the kiss became heated and we stood there making out like teenagers for a few minutes.

I sighed as she pulled away from me and stepped out of reach. "While I appreciate the order of your priorities, are you going to tell me why you kept your Queen waiting?"

"Ah right I forgot, _a Queen waits for no one_." I smirked as I moved around her and took a seat on the bench, crossing my ankles as I watched her. "I have a question to ask you."

Regina shook her head as she sat down beside me. "Answer mine first and I'll consider letting you ask yours."

I thought about her question – I could of course simply tell her I was talking to Killian but then, she would probably want to know why that was more important than our time together and that seemed like a really dumb idea. Instead, I shrugged and said, "It kind of ties in with yours."

After a short pause in which I pretended to be oblivious as she glared at me, she sighed.

"Fine, what is it?" It was adorable how she pouted when she didn't get her own way – not that I was suicidal and planned to inform her of such, but I could at least think it.

"Am I the daughter of Snow White?"

Her eyes widened before she managed to school her features but her voice gave away just how surprised she was by the question when her only response was a strangled, "Pardon?"

It took effort not to roll my eyes, yet I managed as I repeated the question. "Snow White and Prince Charming, am I their daughter?"

"What makes you think that?" she sounded calmer, almost indifferent now - though her tone was still a little shaky.

"That day you found me in the forest when you were talking about the curse, you said _she_ was the reason you didn't cast it when Red asked who I was and you told me you didn't cast it because it would cause Snow White more pain to know she sent her daughter away."

When she did nothing more than stare at me, I sighed and kept going. "Her daughter who she sent to another world, who has the same name as I do. Killian told me time isn't the same in every world, that it's possible that even though it's only been ten years here, I could be twenty-eight if I had stayed there."

After a few minutes of silence, she gave a wary sigh and said. "Well, I did admit that I admired your intelligence from the start."

It was my turn to be surprised then. "You... wanted me to figure it out."

"Did I?" she smiled.

"When you said my name in front of Snow, I thought it had been a slip of the tongue..." Everything began to click into place as I recalled the conversation with the fairy and what I had overheard that night. "This is what Blue forbid you from telling me? this is what you were arguing about the other night when I interrupted you.."

I stood and began to pace as the pieces continued to come together, then I remembered the comment about a deal they had and I suddenly understood why she hadn't told me. "And you can't even confirm that I'm right without being subjected to some stupid form of punishment."

"But I could deny it." she offered.

That hadn't occurred to me, but now that she mentioned it. "You're not going to?"

"No."

"You have a contract with her? One of those magical ones with consequences if you break whatever stipulations were made?" I could feel her eyes, watching me but I couldn't bring myself to look at her because I knew once she confirmed it, things were likely going to change and the thought - quite honestly - pissed me off. I've had to deal with enough change throughout my life because of other people's choices and I was sick of it.

"Something like that."

Frustrated, I sighed. "Why did you want to tell me?"

"I felt like I was lying to you."

I stopped my pacing then and finally looked at her. "You can do that you know, you're the Queen."

Regina laughed before another smile settled on her lips, this one unusually soft compared to the others I had been privileged to see. "I know, but I find that I want to be honest with you."

My heart sped up as questions and assumptions began to bounce around in my mind and I swallowed as I asked, "Why?"

She licked her lips before pinching the bottom one between her teeth and looking away as she answered. "Because with each day, it is becoming more obvious that you mean something to me."

"Oh.. well that's... good." I frowned at how incredibly awkward that sounded.

Her head snapped back around, an incredulous look and disbelief in her tone. "That's what you're going with?"

"No, I mean I obviously have uh feelings for you but I..." Floundering for the right words, I eventually gave up any notion of trying to be eloquent and finished lamely. ".. kind of suck at this."

She smiled as she stood from the bench and made her way over to me, her arms finding their way around my waist and I immediately felt myself start to relax. "I imagine this is somewhat overwhelming, you did only just find out you have parents that are alive and well."

"Is this why you thought I was going to betray you?"

She nodded weakly. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to meet your parents and escape the Evil Queen."

Raising my hand, I brushed my thumb along her cheekbone and smiled as she closed her eyes. "I don't have parents, they didn't raise me."

She sighed as she leaned her forehead against mine, the warm caress of her breath flitting across my lips as she murmured. "That was my fault, you can't blame them for that."

"I'm not looking to place blame, I'm simply stating a fact - I stopped needing parents a long time ago and knowing who they are now doesn't change that."

She pulled away just enough to look me in the eye, her gaze searching as she asked, "Don't you want to meet them? Get to know them and maybe tell them?"

Part of me did, more to sate my curiosity than anything but when I consider the cost. It had taken me a long time to find somewhere I could call home and just as long to find someone I thought would be worth fighting for. Perhaps in time my curiosity would evolve into something more, but for now – what I had was enough. "Not at the expense of starting a war and possibly losing you, no."

When she opened her mouth, I shook my head to interrupt what I assumed would be an attempt to convince me otherwise. " _You_ are my Queen, I swore my life to you and for as long as you want it, it is yours."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I've realized that on FF, this story actually has chapter titles. Should I include them to? I'm extremely lazy, so I won't unless someone says I should.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with half of the things I do. A lot of the time, I think maybe it's because I'm some sort of glutton for punishment. Other times I think it might be because I'm afraid if I don't, then the people I deal with, the ones I consider friends might not take too well to me telling them to fuck off and mind their own business. As I sat there, listening to Red drone on and on about how Regina is a bad person – it was probably more of the latter than the former.

She found out that Regina finally did as she told her to all those weeks ago while I was laid up in bed, I guess she wasn't happy with the way I reacted to the news and now I'm stuck with someone who's taken it upon herself to tell me how wrong I was and act like, well, like I assume a mother would. I started to tune her out when I realised what she was talking about, what she was attempting to do with her sudden dislike of Regina. Admittedly, it wasn't rare for her to complain and moan about the Queen, but she seemed to have decided recently to make it a more common occurrence.

Downing as much ale as my body would allow, I caught a word here and there and it took her an unusually long time to realise I wasn't paying attention. When she did, she wasn't very happy about it and honestly I was beyond caring at that point. There's only so much a person should be expected to handle, I didn't need to be constantly reminded of what Regina was capable of, the things she would do to me if I made a wrong move somewhere down the line. I can still feel the ache in my ribs, I know what the woman can do and I'm well aware it's a lot more than anything she's put me through so far.

I haven't had a lot of experience with friends, but Red didn't appear to be acting like a very good one at the moment. She claims it's because she cares about me, yet I couldn't help wondering if maybe it was something more than that.

Regina seemed to think so, even going so far as to curse her, growling threats in between and if she hadn't been so serious, I probably would have laughed at how absurd it was to hear her swearing. Considering Red's latest rant, I've started to reconsider talking Regina out of doing something about it – I was getting tired of people thinking they had the right to judge me. Red wasn't the only one, she was merely the loudest and more blunt of the two main protestors. Killian was subtle but they both made it perfectly clear that they didn't approve, as if I needed them to.

Graham was the only person who knows that hadn't found it necessary to share his opinion with me, though he has smiled a couple of times when he's caught me exiting her room, so maybe it was because he was different and was actually happy for me.

I'm not really sure what I'm doing any more, besides going through the motions. Even when I finally returned to duty, something didn't feel right, like I was somehow no longer needed for the position and I had meant to move on to something else – whether that meant something more, or something less, I don't know.

It was a lot like the feeling I got back in the other world, when it was time for me to start running again but the thought of leaving Regina, Henry – even Red was enough to reign in those thoughts. Yeah, it was a lot like that feeling but there were obvious differences. I never had friends before, no one I considered family, running was a lot easier back then and now I had so many reasons to stay. It didn't make sense for me to feel that way now, there had to be more to it and not being able to figure it out had started to drive me crazy.

Perhaps it had to do with my _parents_. The choice I made in the garden that night, it was right, never had I felt more justified making a decision than I did in that moment. Even now it just feels right, that this was one of those central reasons for my whole existence. It wasn't only that I chose Regina, I mean I chose so much more. Duty, friendship, the stability and safety that comes with having somewhere I can call home. I'm completely baffled by this desire building within me, the dread that churns in my stomach when I'm on my own, left to drown in my thoughts with no one near to rescue me from the insecure void that dwells within my mind.

"What could you possibly have to think about this hard?" I had to blink a few times before my focus came back to me and my eyes snapped to the door I failed to hear open, trapped inside my head as I was.

My eyes roamed Regina's form as she leaned against the frame, dressed impeccably and looking as fit to ravish as per usual. I could sense the way she smirked at me as my eyes slowly roamed over her outfit, long before I saw it and I smiled when our gazes finally met. "Nothing nearly as important as you, my Queen."

She chuckled softly as she pushed away from the door and sauntered towards me, a gentle sway to her hips that never once failed to make my mouth water - I swear I had to be the luckiest person in this world and every other to have the pleasure of simply knowing this woman, let alone being the one she came to see at the end of each day.

I sighed happily as she settled herself in my lap, draping her arms over my shoulders and running her fingers through my hair as she leaned in to capture my breath with her lips.

She moaned into my mouth as I caressed her sides, cupping her breasts and squeezing lightly before my hands descended to rest on her hips. As I sank my teeth into her lower lip, she pulled back with a gasp that turned into another chuckle as she caught me pouting from the loss.

"I came to see how you were after Red left." I groaned and rolled my eyes as I threw my head back to dangle over the back of the chair, closing my eyes as she took advantage of the newly exposed flesh and attacked my neck with her mouth.

Teeth grazed against my throat before she bathed my pulse with her tongue and I had to fight against the heat coursing through my veins, knowing she wouldn't give in by letting me get away with ignoring her enquiry regardless of where her attention was currently aimed. My hands gripped her hips more forcefully as I tried to ground myself, only she took that as an invitation to grind into me and I failed to suppress another moan.

"Same song and dance. You're evil, I shouldn't trust you blahblahblah." I slipped my hand between her legs and pressed my palm against her sex, hoping to relieve my sudden need to have my face buried there as I imagined her thighs clamping down around my head while she screamed my name.

When she removed her mouth from my neck, I raised my head as she spoke, the hoarseness of her voice adding to the arousing effect of watching and feeling her rub herself against my hand. "She's right, you know."

I acquiesced to the truth with a nod and curled my fingers, loving the whimper she gave as my nails scraped along the leather of her pants. "I don't care."

She didn't appear to have anything more to say, so I took that as a sign the conversation was over and stood with her in my arms. Her legs instantly wrapped around my waist as I carried her to the bed and I surrendered to the fact she had no plans to release me when I laid her down, resting my weight on top of her as I claimed her mouth once more.

* * *

"Henry is upset." Regina claimed as she strolled into the training yard the next afternoon, not even giving the dozen or so guards swinging their weapons about a second thought as she came to stand before me.

Sheathing my sword, I smirked as she licked her lips while she took in the sight of me breathless and sweaty from exertion. Noticing my smirk, she raised her eyebrow as if daring me to say something and I shook my head with a smile, instead choosing to acknowledge her comment. "Is this a general thing or does it actually have something to do with me?"

"He isn't happy that I allowed you to return to duty as my Captain and has demanded that I do something to fix it." I was unsurprised by the grin that punctuated her sentence, knowing that being ordered around by anyone would earn her ire unless it happened to be the boy she spoiled beyond all reason.

While I still wasn't sure about it myself, it didn't stop my curiosity from challenging her. "Oh? Are you going to reassign me now as his permanent babysitter?"

She frowned. "Actually, I was going to ask you to move closer to the Royal Quarter so that he could spend more time with you while you continued serving as my Captain but since you seem to dislike my son for some reason, forget it."

Realising my mistake, I grabbed her hand as she made to walk away and spoke before she ended up fireballing my dumb ass. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that, I love the kid and I wouldn't mind spending more time with him." I breathed a sigh of relief when she turned back around to face me before I continued. "Honestly, I wouldn't mind being his personal guard over being Captain either."

Her frown deepened further. "You don't wish to serve me any longer?"

"What? No." I denied, almost yelling out of protest at such a ridiculous question. "You know damn well that you could banish me and sell me as a slave to some peasant in another realm and I'd still serve you."

Running a hand through my hair, I huffed in irritation at my own ineloquent stupidity. "Look, I'm yours in whatever capacity you need. I'm just saying ever since I returned to duty, I feel out of place and I didn't when I was acting as his guard."

She pursed her lips for a few seconds of thought then nodded in understanding before she entwined our fingers and asked, "And what was the babysitter comment about?"

I shrugged. "Unnecessary defense mechanism – I assumed I was about to have my choice taken from me, so I reacted like an idiot."

Releasing my hand, she cupped my cheek as she pressed her body against me, brushing our lips together briefly before she smiled and stepped away. "No one will ever take your choices away from you again, not if I can help it."

The amount of warmth that filled me at hearing those words only doubled when I saw the sincerity in her eyes and I swear if she didn't stop smiling at me, my heart would burst inside my chest. I blushed at how silly I felt standing there, staring as I grinned at her stupidly and she chuckled.

"Are you certain you wish to resign as Captain?" she asked after the moment subsided and I nodded.

She stepped into me once more, "Give me a little time to find a suitable replacement, then we'll share the news with his royal highness. "Placing another kiss on my lips, she didn't bother waiting for my response before she turned and left the yard.


	16. Chapter 16

I waited for Regina to find someone to replace me as Captain and after a week passed with no result, I suggested she consider Red. It wasn't that I was trying to upset her, only that I believed she was capable of filling the role. More often than not, she had helped out more than just me and Graham, she had assisted everyone in the Guard when a situation called for it and I hadn't given any consideration to the suggestion beyond that. With the tension between the two brought on by Red badmouthing her to me, I should have known it wouldn't go over well.

Sometimes I forget there are people worse than me when it comes to forgiving others and it was clearly a mistake not to remember just how well the Queen could hold a grudge. Being that I am the spawn of her decade-old enemy, I should know that better than most.

The worst thing though, wasn't my more forgiving nature or my inability to think before I speak, it's my stubbornness. I had no doubt that if I simply apologised for being forgetful and inconsiderate, sat down and actually explained the reason behind the suggestion, she would forgive me – maybe not right away since she did like to pout – but eventually.

Instead I chose to be hard-headed and refused to do so because I wasn't in the wrong, at least not according to my mind. Now my heart and sex drive, well they felt perfectly justified in hating me for it. Five days of being banished from her chambers, avoided at every opportunity and completely ignored when avoidance wasn't an option – it sucked, like really _really_ sucked.

It didn't help that I couldn't stop thinking about her, even during training the thought of her distracted me and I lost count of how many times another guard got passed my defense because I wasn't paying attention, I swear I looked like I'd been mauled by a raccoon after tumbling down a steep hill. I'd been thrown on my ass so many times, my bruises had bruises.

So I spent a significant amount of time in the tavern, more than I had in a while - and sometimes there would be people talking about me, which meant I would occasionally get upset about it, start a fight with someone and somehow I would wake up on a bunk in the barracks with a killer hangover and only a vague recollection of what happened the night before – such was the case at this point.

"You're awake." I turned my head and stayed quiet as Graham walked over and handed me a goblet with the foulest smelling concoction in existence - a tonic for the headache; it works wonders but ones taste buds and gag reflex will join forces and try to revolt when forced to endure it.

Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I sat up slowly and waited until the throbbing in my skull passed before covering my nose and downing the drink in a single swallow. When I felt confident I wouldn't throw up all over the floor, I returned the goblet and attempted turning my lips into something resembling a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. "Thanks."

He inclined his head politely and left the room, leaving me alone to wallow in my misery as I closed my eyes and laid back down so the tonic could do its thing.

I opened them a few minutes later when I heard someone else approaching and I was baffled to see the Prince standing in the doorway, an impossibly wide grin on his face. "Hi Emma."

"Hey kid..." I smiled at how happy he looked. "Shouldn't you be nose deep in a book, learning something boring?"

He shook his head and bounded into the room, "Its time for my weapons training." he said after diving on to the bed, setting off an angry swarm of bees inside my head as he made himself comfortable.

"Please tell me you're joking." I groaned. If it was that time already, it meant I'd overslept by a few hours and - "Wait, why are you here and not outside with the Commander?"

"Because you've been reassigned." Red appeared in the doorway wearing the leathers of the Guard, the Captain's seal emblazoned on the chest. "Congratulations, Swan – You're now the Prince's personal manservant."

Before I could respond, Henry jumped to my defense. "She protects me and teaches me how to fight!" he glared at her before he looked to me with a pout. "You're not a servant."

I chuckled and ruffled his hair as Red ignored the Prince and continued. "I can't believe you put this idea in her head, what the hell were you thinking?"

Now that my headache had lessened, I rolled from the bed on to my feet and scooped Henry up so that I could put him on my shoulders, smiling as he giggled and held on to my forehead. I took a moment to consider simply walking out of the barracks without acknowledging her but she must have accepted the offer to be wearing the armour, so I shrugged and answered her.

"I was thinking that you were the only person who could take my place, that none of these guards are even half as capable as you are. I was thinking that for once, you deserved recognition for doing what others won't and a chance to prove you're more than your reputation suggests."

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she settled with simply staring at me. Assuming no more needed to be said, I brushed passed her and made my way over to the door, stopping when she called my name. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I half-turned on the spot to find her standing with her head down, facing away from me with her shoulders tensed and I shook my head, throwing a "You're welcome," over my shoulder as I left for the training yard.

* * *

When the side of Henry's blade slapped the back of my hand for the third time that afternoon, I winced and dropped my sword. "Damn, you've definitely got the hang of disarming someone."

He grinned as I rubbed the sting from reddened skin, the Prince was an authentic badass. In less than a year, he learned a lot more than I did when I first got here. Of course he didn't have to spend months alone in the wilderness, reading and memorising piles of books with nothing more than animals to keep him company and a single dagger to fend off unwanted attention but still, he was freakin' six-years old for shit sakes.

Because of how young he was, I was on the fence for a while when it came to teaching him how to use weapons and despite knowing the decision to do so was a direct result of his kidnapping, it had taken time for me to warm up to the idea. Once I had, it was difficult not to be proud of him and how much he'd accomplished in such a short time. With his perception and agility, he was a natural little warrior in the making and it was nice to be a part of it.

"Do you think I could learn archery?" he asked.

I nodded as I bent down and retrieved my sword from the ground, sheathing it as I replied. "I don't see why not. I suck with a bow but I bet Graham or Red could teach you."

"You don't know how?"

I chuckled at the disappointed look on his face. "I don't have the patience for it but I'd be happy to come watch while you practice, assuming you're really interested in learning."

"Interested in learning what?" I froze at the sound of her voice and ignored the urge to turn around as Henry's face lit up.

"Mom! I disarmed Emma and she said I could learn how to use a bow." he ran to where Regina stood behind me and I closed my eyes as the urge intensified.

"Well I suppose we should find someone to teach you then." I could feel her stare boring into the back of my head and with a deep breath, I opened my eyes and turned, putting out my hand to Henry with a silent request and praying I didn't have to speak for him to know what I wanted.

Fortunately he was a smart kid and as soon as he handed his sword to me, I spun back around and started the walk back to the barracks without once meeting her gaze. Even as the hair on the back of my neck alerted me to her anger, my pace never once faltered.

* * *

When I collected Henry from the stables after his riding lesson, she was nowhere in sight and I didn't know if I was more relieved or disappointed. When Henry ran over to me with a bright smile, I shook my head and decided to put her out of my mind for now.

His excitement to see me again didn't last long however and his lips slowly formed down into a frown. "Are you and Mom fighting?"

I didn't want to lie to him but he was only a kid and he shouldn't have to worry about these sorts of things. "Just a misunderstanding, I'm sure we'll work it out."

"I'm glad one of us thinks so." My jaw clenched tightly and I knew I wouldn't be able to escape this time, not unless I wanted to be reassigned again for not performing my duty. I'd already pushed it once today, considering I was meant to be a part of his riding lessons. Sighing, I turned around to face her and averted my eyes when I saw the uncertainty in her gaze.

"Henry, go back inside for a moment while I speak with Emma." Knowing she had been upset with me for walking away, hearing her call me by name was somewhat of a relief and some of the tension drained out of me.

"You should have been here." her tone was clipped and the tension returned in full force as the anger radiated from her in waves, forcing me to take a step back on instinct.

"He was with you, he didn't need my protection." She was right, I should have been here, no matter who was with him. I folded my arms across my chest and tried to appear more confident than I truly felt. It was stupid but I'd had enough with feeling like crap and if she was about to rip into me, I wasn't going to show how it affected me.

When she reached out and rested her hand against my cheek, it took a few seconds for me to recover from the surprise and realise she was healing me, the tingling sensation spread throughout my body as warmth throbbed wherever the magic came across a bruise or other minor wound I'd received due to the distraction the last few days had caused me.

It wasn't until she was finished and the hand dropped to her side that she spoke again. "Be that as it may, you're his Guard _and_ you're meant to be taking lessons with him."

Deflating, I lowered my arms and met her eyes. "I know, I'm just.." I sighed and scrubbed at my face with my hands, overcome with the sudden and unexplainable desire to simply breakdown and pour my heart out.

It was ridiculous, I had a right to be angry with her and I just couldn't bring myself to be. I hated being away from her, hated being ignored. I shook off the feeling and decided to be honest with her. "I'm tired, Regina. I've felt like shit ever since you threw me out and I couldn't handle getting into another fight with you, so I left."

Her eyes softened further but when she made to take a step closer, I wasn't done and I held up a hand to stop her. "You didn't even let me explain why I suggested her before you decided to make me suffer. I could have gotten over that but now it turns out, the past five days were for nothing because you gave her the position anyway."

When I finished, she took the step and pressed our bodies together as her arms came up and around my neck. "There is a lot you don't know about mine and Red's relationship and it's almost as complicated as the one with your m- Snow White."

My eyes fluttered closed as her fingers brushed against my temple to tuck a loose curl behind my ear and I could feel myself relax into her arms, my own slipping around her waist without thought as she continued. "I can only tell you some of it and if you want the rest you'll have to ask her." she stopped and I sensed she was waiting for my acceptance, so I nodded for her to go on.

"Red arrived in my kingdom a couple of years before you did and she didn't remain here willingly." I wanted to ask why she was still here, but the finger she pressed to my lips stopped me from speaking. "She was injured when she got here, she didn't know where she was and even if she did, she wouldn't have been able to escape because of how much blood she'd lost before my men found her."

"I don't know the full story of what happened before she got here, just that she'd been attacked while shifted and somehow she ended up crossing the border between my land and the White Kingdom before she lost consciousness." the sigh that followed had me opening my eyes and I could see the conflict in hers as she bit her lip and stared at me.

Before I could do so much as raise an eyebrow, she started again. "I recognised her the moment I saw her and ordered my guards to throw her in the dungeon after I'd healed her– she was Snow's best friend, at least that's what I thought at the time."

"Something happened between the two of them." she shrugged lightly. "She never told me what but when she regained consciousness, I visited her occasionally and she never hesitated to talk to me even though she was my prisoner."

I frowned as I thought over her words and debated which of the questions filling my head I wanted to ask. "How did she go from being your prisoner to working for you?"

"I offered her freedom, a safe place to live and the opportunity to tame her wolf. In exchange, she would use her skills to benefit me in a way that didn't involve killing people." she slipped from my arms and reached for my hand, smiling when I entwined our fingers and followed as she walked us to where her son waited. "I can't say what it was that made her accept but ever since then, she's been loyal to me even though she doesn't exactly like me."

Before we reached the door to the stable, I surrendered to a whim and stopped. Tugging her back towards me, I wrapped my arms around her and captured her lips, deepening the kiss the moment our mouths connected and stealing the breath from her lungs.

When I pulled away, I rested ours heads together as her eyes opened and I could feel the warmth within them as clearly as I could see it. "I'm still mad at you."

She chuckled breathlessly and smiled as I felt her nod against me. "Okay."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really important, but I wrote this over a period of like 3 years, so if you notice differences in sentence structure/grammar etc, that's why. Sorry. I should maybe go through and polish it a bit.

It was the time of year again where the ground was covered in a mountain of snow and it took you at least twenty minutes to walk what usually only took five, a time where you had to don yourself in the fur of every animal known to man simply so you wouldn't freeze to death - and even then there was no guarantee.

I've always had mixed feelings about Winter. On the one hand, it was a great season to remain inside, sitting beside the fireplace and spending time with loved ones. On the other hand, I've never had the kind of people I could do that with and even in this world, I had responsibilities that needed to be taken care of before I could even consider isolating myself like a hermit inside the palace. There was also that even if I didn't have those responsibilities, I was still kind of upset with the Queen and that meant she was upset in turn because how dare I, a mere peasant, not simply be happy that she graces my presence.

It's only been two days since I was invited back into her chamber, an offer I happily accepted because even when things aren't going so well, it was always nice to fall asleep beside her; which is all I was permitted to do until I stopped being my usual stubborn self and forgave her.

Those were her exact words the last time I tried to kiss her.

As I walked the path to the Barracks with the Prince beside me, I was seriously considering letting everything go and simply deciding to be happy rather than continuously sabotaging all the opportunities that come my way.

I blame those stupid abandonment issues.

Logically I knew that fighting and being avoided for a while wasn't the same thing, but my emotions and brain had a difficult time working together in this case. All I could really do was wait until I felt ready to talk or I simply buried my issues and forgot about it until they eventually reared their ugly head again.

"Hey Emma?"

I glanced down at the Prince with my eyebrow raised. "Yeah?"

"How come Mom doesn't want to come with us?"

Unsure of how to explain, I frowned as I thought the question over and eventually shrugged as I did the best I could. "Your mother and the new Guard-Captain have issues, they don't get along very well."

"Oh." his expression turned thoughtful and I pursed my lips to keep from smiling, waiting for whatever solution he was sure to come up with to what he considered a problem.

"Do you think she'd put somewhere to train in the courtyard so she could watch me practice?" he asked a few minutes later.

Honestly I didn't even think the thought would have crossed her mind, yet I nodded anyway because whether she would ever admit it; the Queen was wrapped entirely around his little finger. "I bet she would if you asked her to."

His face brightened with the grin that spread and he sounded excited. "Yeah?"

With another nod, I grinned along with him. "Yeah."

When we came upon the Barracks, I dropped him off with Graham who was busy sorting through paperwork and, after being assured they would wait for my return before going outside, I made my way to the Captain's office where I found Red pacing the floor.

As soon as she saw that I stood in the doorway, she stopped to stare at me in obvious confusion, stepping back as I entered the room and closed the door behind me. Before she could voice whatever was going through her mind, I got straight to the point. "Regina told me about the day you came to be in her kingdom."

Her eyes hardened immediately at the Queen's name. "Is that so?"

Ignoring her thinly veiled anger, I hummed the affirmation and moved around the room, feigning interest in one thing or another as I refused to look at her so that I could remain indifferent to the emotions that Regina seemed to conjure in the werewolf. "She said you were somehow injured, though she claimed to have no details beyond that."

"Did she also tell you she kept me in her dungeon for months?" she growled.

I looked up then as I confirmed having that knowledge already. "Yes, she did. She also confessed that her only reason for doing so was because she thought you were Snow White's best friend – which I suppose is unfair but not really something she had to share with me."

Her surprise was evident in the widening of her eyes and parted lips but before she could speak, I kept going. "What she couldn't tell me, is why you're now completely loyal to her despite your apparent dislike of her. I have my theories, of course, though I have yet to speak of them with her."

"So, are you here to accuse me of something?"

Yes, I thought though I shook my head in denial. Even though I had a theory, it made very little sense in the scheme of things and while there has been a rift between us as of late, I still had hope that we would somehow repair our friendship. "I've found that assumptions tend to be wrong more often than not and our.. relationship is strained enough, don't you think?"

She smirked. "Don't bother, I saw the accusation in your eyes before you even stepped foot inside this room." she gave a humourless laugh as I frowned. "You're far too easy to read, Emma and I've seen that look of betrayal, shit I've worn the damn thing."

Not knowing what to say but not feeling like I should apologise, I kept quiet as I waited and barely a minute had passed before she spoke again. "You want to know why I'm not still holed up in the White Kingdom with your loving parents?"

At my nod, she continued. "After they made a truce with Regina, I visited this kingdom a time or two when Snow would come with a contingent of soldiers for their peace talks. I heard mention of another truce, between my kind and the so-called Evil Queen."

"On my return, I approached Snow White and her Prince Charming. I had been told stories of the slaughter of werepeople that occurs within their borders, though I hadn't, as of that moment, come across anyone who tried to kill me during my nighttime runs." I followed her with my eyes as she started to pace once more, a feeling of dread and regret pooling in my stomach as she kept talking.

"I asked them if they would consider the same and while they said they would, it was months before the subject was broached again – and that was after my first experience of an attack.. or rather, during my recovery of it."

She shook her head, the anger in both her voice and expression had quickly faded with her words, leaving only a defeated sadness in its wake. "They told me that while what I had been through was unfortunate-"

My jaw clenched at the broken sob that made up the last word and while part of me wanted to express how sorry I was for thinking what I had, she recovered sooner than I expected and her laugh threw me off. "-unfortunate.. fuck them. Anyway, they said they couldn't consider a truce when so many in their Kingdom are.. well, not fans of ours."

She looked to me then. "Your parents are all about pleasing the peasants, I'm almost certain that together, they still don't possess a fully functioning brain – but I'm getting off track. The second time I was attacked, I guess I gave up on them and rather than drag myself all the way back, I was closer to the Queen's lands."

"So your loyalty to her is.. for the protection she provides?"

She nodded and stopped her pacing to turn to me. "I don't really hate her, I know it seems that way and part of me knows it's because of the messed up way that I still feel something for your mother." she shrugs as if she'd accepted it wasn't something she could change.

"Snow was the only one that wasn't afraid of who I am, you know? You remind me of her for that exact reason and seeing you be all friendly with the Queen.. it sets me off."

"I.."

The apology sat on the tip of my tongue but the shake of her head had me close my mouth before I could finish. "You want to protect her and I can understand that, so don't apologise for it. Even though you made an assumption, you didn't attack me with it and I don't fault you for what you thought but I am grateful you let me explain."

* * *

After a day of talking, training, riding and a particularly boring lesson in History that I was forced to sit through as Henry's tutor droned on for two whole hours without a single pause, I returned to the Library to think after handing the Prince over to his mother and feigning a lack of hunger as reason not to join them for dinner.

Had either of them known me in the other world, I'm almost certain they would have fainted from shock at hearing me turn down food. It's fortunate that it wasn't that unusual when it came to the kind of person I am here, so I suppose I had something to be grateful for. As much as I loved their company, especially over dinner, I had far too much crap on my plate to be in the mood to enjoy it.

Mostly, I needed to think about fixing my relationship with Regina so I could stop worrying and finally, for once, enjoy something good in my life. Whether or not it was possible without having to open myself up and share a slew of bad childhood experiences, I couldn't be sure.

I suppose maybe I could, if it turned out to be necessary. I mean I've never had anyone who cared enough to want to know about it and I think it was safe to assume Regina actually cared about me, so maybe that's all I needed to do so.

I think I could try, at least – if she asked me to.

That wasn't all I needed to think about, I was still trying to work through everything Red had told me. I believed her, I couldn't detect any lies when she was telling me her story but to think the people she spoke of were my parents, the same ones that claimed Regina to be evil when they wouldn't even lift a finger for someone they considered a friend because others were afraid of something they couldn't understand.

How could I be related to people like that?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this medieval world was no different from my own. It only served to prove that people were irrational and full of hate no matter where they came from.

"I thought I might find you here." I jumped at the sound of Regina's voice next to my ear and nearly threw the book in my lap across the room. Thinking that I may have been deeper in my thoughts than I realised, I turned my head towards still closed doors and frowned.

She seemed to sense exactly what I was thinking and spoke before I could ask. "I have magic, dear; I don't need to use doors."

Closing the book and tossing it to the table, I stood from my seat to face her with an eyebrow raised. "Do you think maybe you could resist scaring the shit out of me next time?"

There was no hesitation when she responded. "No, I don't think I could.." she paused to step around the chair and slip her arms around me. "Your reaction when I do it is simply far too amusing for me to go without."

Confused by the sudden closeness and the obvious affection in her tone after two days of indifference, I eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

When she smiled, my entire body tensed in her hold because that was definitively not a nice kind of smile and if I didn't completely trust her, I would have thought she was about to rip my throat out using only her teeth. The feeling was only amplified by the dark chuckle she gave at my reaction, yet still I couldn't tear myself out of her grasp because goddamn I missed the way she held me.

"Okay I've clearly done something wrong." that much was obvious, if only I could figure out what it was before she decided her feelings for me weren't important enough not to viciously murder me. "Uh.. I'm really drawing a blank here so if you could help me out..."

This time her smile was a lot softer and as soon as I relaxed in her embrace, she leaned forward and pecked me on the lips. Releasing me, she replied as she took the seat I had just vacated. "As I said, your fear amuses me."

With a shake of the head, I moved to sit beside her and said, "I'd tell you I hate you now, if there was a chance I could make it sound believable."

She smirked. "Well since we both know that isn't happening, let's move on to a more important subject, shall we? I hear you're the one I have to thank for my son's latest idea."

There was nothing in her tone beyond bemused curiosity, so I shrugged and leaned back in the chair. "He was disappointed that you didn't seem interested in watching him learn the bow and after I told him you weren't all that friendly with the new Captain, he came up with the idea. I.. may have encouraged it by suggesting he ask you."

She shook her head slowly, rolling her eyes even though her smile gave her away. "I admit the thought hadn't occurred to me, though I think rather than in the courtyard, I could have one of the many unused rooms in the palace converted to an indoor training room."

By the raised eyebrow, I assumed she was seeking my approval and although it made me somewhat uncomfortable that she seemed to think she needed it, the idea itself was certainly appealing. "It would be nice to do his lessons inside without the risk of freezing to death."

"Then I'll make the arrangements for that to be done as soon as possible." she stood and brushed down the creases in her dress with the palm of her hands. I felt the prickle on the back of my neck soon after which alerted me to the fact she was about to poof away and, without thought, I grabbed her by the wrist.

"Wait." I snapped, blushing as her eyes landed on me once more. "I didn't mean -"

"- to give your Queen a command?" she finished, a playful glint in her eye as she smirked down at me. "I gathered as much by the sudden colour in your cheeks."

The words only served to further embarrass and I averted my eyes, clearing my throat in an attempt to ignore the way my cheeks only heated more under her continued stare. "Yeah that. Look, I wanted to talk to you about uh – us."

I closed my eyes as I felt her knuckles brush against my cheek and with minimal coaxing, she had them open once more, our gazes locking as she urged me to continue with a soft, "Go on."

Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I shook off the lingering doubt that warned me against voicing my earlier thoughts and began. "This whole being angry and avoiding one another, we can't keep doing that."

She said nothing as I studied her expression, her face so open and patient for once, like she had waited for me to pick up my courage and finally come to her. "I, can't keep doing that and I know that this time, it was my fault. If I had stayed and talked to you that day in the yard, maybe it could have been avoided."

"I've spent my whole life with nothing, being abandoned at every stage of my life. My real parents left me to fend for myself and up until I turned fifteen, I moved around so much that I honestly can't remember how many families I've had." as the words came, there was an urge to turn away from all the understanding I could plainly see in her eyes but the sight of her kneeling before me forced me to remain still.

"When I woke up in that crappy tavern, I wasn't scared by these people telling me I was in one of those horribly written fairy tales because even if it was the craziest fucking thing I'd ever heard, it was something new. It was a place where no one knew who I was, what kind of person I am, no one knew of my past or what I'd been through and I thought maybe I could just -"

" - be someone else." she finished as she stood and pulled me from the chair. When I went to speak, to ask what she was doing, her lips briefly met mine and as we broke apart, she left me with no choice but to listen as she started talking before I could open my mouth again. "I understood why you didn't simply forgive me because it was the same reason I didn't accept that you were still angry with me. Abandonment issues aside, no one likes being avoided or ignored, least of all a Queen accustomed to getting what she wants."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, more porn.

"You're unarmed, but he's not wearing a helmet," I said as I picked at the food in front of me, forcing myself to eat even though I wasn't hungry. Turning down the invitation to join them crossed my mind but I could sometimes go days without eating and not realise it, besides, declining for the second time in less than a week might have caused some concern, so it seemed safer and smarter to accept.

The Prince lowered his fork, his brow furrowing in thought and I smiled as his lower lip jutted outwards. We began these impromptu lessons the same day the new training room was finished and though Henry had hated them in the beginning, a week later and he practically begged for them now.

"Temples, eyes and..." He frowned as his face scrunched up and I melted at how adorable he looked. "Throat?"

At my nod, he smiled as he resumed eating and I pretended not to notice the Queen's perplexed expression while I spoke, "Mouth and nose work too, but they're not quite as effective."

He nodded and I could almost see the way that his brain filed the information for future use, though I was certain the Queen and I both hoped the things I was teaching him proved to be unnecessary. Reaching for my wine, I thought another one over for a few minutes, taking a sip as we stared at each other across the table.

"You're bound at the wrists but your feet are free and he has no leg armour." I pursed my lips, knowing the exact response he would give as soon as his face lit up with a grin.

"Kick him in the balls!"

"Henry!" Regina scolded before she turned to me with a scowl and growled, "What are you teaching my son?"

Even before I could think to defend myself, Henry chimed in, "Emma says that even when you're at a disadvantage, there's almost _always_ a way to escape and she's testing me to see if I've been paying attention."

She gave a huff of exasperation and told him to eat his dinner as she returned her attention to me. "He is six, Emma."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. It _had_ been her idea that I teach him in the first place; she should have known by now the type of person I was. "Yeah, he's six and he happens to know how to use a bow better than a majority of your personal guard, has no trouble disarming someone with a sword and could tell you how to bring a fully grown man to his knees."

The glare she continued to direct my way had me shifting uncomfortably in my seat, wondering if perhaps I might have overstepped but I gathered my resolve and asked, "You wanted me to teach him how to defend himself, would you prefer I leave out perfectly valid information?"

"No, I suppose not," she sighed, still glaring despite her implied acceptance. "Was the language necessary?"

With a smirk, I shook my head and gestured to the Prince. "That was all him, I'm afraid." Of course, I knew what he was going to say and I probably should have stopped him, or avoided the question altogether but I wasn't going to take the blame for something that had nothing to do with my lessons and everything to do with his apparent fascination for shocking people; his mother more specifically.

Spending more time with them and having opened up to treating him as more than a simple Prince, I observed their interactions on a daily basis and learned enough of their dynamic to know that the frown she wore as she looked to him was masking her laughter as he stared at me in shock.

When he turned to his mother, I expected profuse denial but it seemed that it was my turn to be surprised as he stated seriously, "Mom, I need a new guard, this one seems to be broken."

"Oh?" she questioned and the corners of her mouth twitched as she humoured him.

He nodded as his eyes darted back to me, narrowing even as he grinned and said, "I have been offered up as a sacrifice to your-" he paused with a tilt of his head and I laughed as his face scrunched up at a loss for words.

"Righteous anger?" I suggested after a beat, not missing the pursing of lips from the Queen and the light snort.

"Right," he agreed, oblivious to anything but his dramatics as he continued. "Righteous anger. She has betrayed me, _me_ ; the Dark Prince, to save herself."

"Well that doesn't seem like something the Prince's personal guard should do, does it?" The Prince and I both shook our heads at that, my expression feigning contrition as I glanced helplessly to the Queen who at that point was grinning from ear to ear. "Rather than expending all the time and effort required to replace her, perhaps you'd be content if I were to punish her?"

He looked thoughtful and after a moment, gave a nod of his head. "I suppose. I mean she did save my life before and she's a pretty good teacher."

"Excellent." She turned to me then and I raised my eyes to the ceiling to relieve myself of the frustration, too early in the evening to hope that whatever thought running through her mind as her pupils visibly darkened would become reality any time soon.

* * *

As it turned out, if you promised the Prince a day of freedom in which he could do as he pleases, whether that included attending his educational lessons or not, he was far less inclined to argue about going to bed an hour or two earlier than usual.

Because as everyone knows; a Queen waits for no one, or in this case, nothing.

Hands bound to the bedpost, my back arched as a skilled tongue teased between my legs and I begged her to release me while yanking the material that bound my wrists. "Regina, please..." I wanted to touch her. I _needed_ to touch her, to make her feel the way that I did as she brought me to the edge for the third time that evening.

Her chuckle vibrated through me, her hands stroking a path from thighs to hips as she raised her head, fingers curling and forcing me back to the mattress as she asked, "What sort of punishment would this be if I did as you wanted, hmm?"

"A merciful one?" I choked out when she entered me with three fingers, a delicious burn building once more, coiling low in the pit of my stomach and her deep, throaty laughter burrowed under my skin as she started to move inside me.

"I am the Evil Queen, dear." She emphasised her point with a hard thrust and a pathetic whimper erupted from my throat as I bucked uselessly beneath her firm grip.

Leaning over me, I shivered as she purred into my ear, "I'm not known as such for my mercy," and any thought that entered my head in response was quickly dismissed when she claimed my mouth, slipping her tongue between my lips and I moaned as I tasted myself.

When she found a rhythm she deemed appropriate, her thumb pressed against my clit as her teeth sank in to my lower lip, drawing blood that she cleaned with a pleased hum, sucking it into her mouth and causing my desire for her to increase tenfold.

"Regina…" Aroused beyond belief, I couldn't help the whine that entered my tone, the responding chuckle slicing through what little restraint I had left and as I attempted to free myself once more, I closed my eyes as a warmth unrelated to her ministrations filled me.

I smiled as her gasp reached my ears, my wrists coming unbound a second or two later. I didn't care that my arms ached from the strain of being in the same position for so long, leaving her without the opportunity to correct the situation as I darted a hand to her head, grabbing a fistful of hair as my hips rose in encouragement.

She resisted and it would have been stupid of me not to expect such a thing but still, another whimper arose in my throat at the denial. My entire body ached for a release she seemed adamant I not experience and, were I forced to wait much longer, I didn't think I would be able to survive it.

"Do you realise how fuckable you look right now," she questioned and I groaned, loud at the sound of the swear coming from her mouth.

It was something she rarely did but whenever she resorted to filthy language, it sent every nerve ending in my body into a raging inferno. I don't know if I hated her in that moment or if I was ruined for life for anyone else.

No, that wasn't true. I was ruined for anyone else from the first time I laid eyes on her, the way she looked at me was enough to make me feel as though I wanted to spend eternity confined to her chambers, where I would gladly please her every second of every day.

"Please…" I begged, knowing just how pointless it was.

She would give in only when she thought I deserved it, it had and could, last for hours if she wanted it to. One minute she could be tender and loving, with soft caresses and light, barely there kisses and the next, it would be nothing but violent, explosive fucking - hard thrusts and teeth, lots and lots of teeth. She could drag it out until I was on the verge of losing consciousness, alternating between the two without ever allowing me to fall over the edge.

"I love it when you beg." I shuddered as her hot tongue glided across my flesh, fingers clenching within her hair as the path she travelled led over the swell of a breast, mouth descending on an already sensitive nipple, pain mingling with pleasure as she worried the hardened bud with her teeth.

"I…" I released a shuddered breath, incapable of further speech, my mind laden with a fog that refused to lift enough for a single, comprehensible thought to emerge. It was maddening, the things she could do to me, and the effect she had on every one of my senses.

I was in love with this woman and I did the only thing I could; I begged and begged, my pleas bleeding together with the repetition of her name and she _growled_ , she fucking growled. It was the sexiest damn sound I had ever heard and it would have been enough but then, then she started pounding into me - rough, hard and the scream that tore from my throat was ear splitting as I was thrown over the edge, curses falling from my lips without conscious thought.

I could feel her chuckle against my breast, her fingers still moving, coaxing wave after wave of intense pleasure and what little strength I had faded as she prolonged the end, the soft kisses she dappled across heated, sweat soaked flesh; a stark contrast to the short, quick thrusts of her hand.

When it finally subsided and I slumped back down to the bed, she shifted her weight and laid her head on my shoulder, her lips a whisper against my skin. My head lolled to the side, our eyes meeting as she slipped her fingers from inside me, bringing them to her mouth and cleaning them one by one, a smirk painting her lips when I groaned at the sight.

"You're going to kill me one day." My voice was hoarse, my laugh breathless as the words caused the smirk to widen and an all too familiar glint appeared in her eyes.

"I can think of worse ways for one's life to end," she purred, returning her hand to the apex of my thighs as she rose to capture my lips, making her point that she wasn't finished with me as her fingers slid through my folds to sheath within clinging heat.

* * *

"Haven't seen you in here for a while," Red noted as I entered the Barracks the next morning, the quill she held continuing to dance across the parchment even though her eyes followed me around the room.

"Henry said he left his bow in here," I replied distractedly as I searched for it. That kid would lose his head if it weren't attached, I was starting to wonder if giving him weapons he easily misplaced was such a good idea.

"Actually…" Red stood and I frowned when she left the room, confusion no doubt my expression until I heard a small commotion from down the hall and she returned within the seconds that followed, holding the object in question.

"I had planned to return it to him this afternoon," she explained, handing it to me as she passed and returned to her seat. "It's a good thing you came though, because between all this form-filling and my patrol route today, I don't think I would have been able to."

"Lymere?" I asked and grinned knowingly as she nodded an affirmative.

Lymere was a neighbouring village a few miles south, still within Regina's realm but far enough from the Palace where a bulk of the Guard remained that bandits considered the area safe enough to set up shop. As Captain, she was expected to travel with the merchants twice a month to fend off any attacks and bring back those for sentencing who were too slow, or too stupid to run.

Remembering the times I had been stuck with that same route and how much more entertaining it was with another of the Guard, I said, "You have to take Jack with you." She had a tendency to tell raunchy, amusing tales to pass the time that would put even Killian's stories to shame.

"Can't, she still hasn't healed from the last one. Graham offered but then no one would be around to make sure the rest do their jobs." She shrugged. "I don't really need anyone else, but I agreed to take Michael since he's one of the few who know I can _fur it up._ "

With a chuckle, I shook my head and I was about to take my leave, knowing the Queen would be waiting for me to arrive and whisk her son away, before a thought occurred to me. "Hey…"

"Yeah?"

"I know this is a bit of a sore subject for you." I had no idea what I was doing, why I was doing it or if she would even go for it but for some reason my curiosity had been more pronounced lately and I had to ask, "Could you maybe tell me about Snow and Charming sometime, about what I missed?"

She smiled sadly and nodded her head. "I might need a few drinks, but I think I can do that."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And more porn. 
> 
> Don't know if I should bother with a warning, given that I snickered like a child when anyone complained about this chapter, but the sex is a little more... rough? I suppose. Regina love taps and dominates Emma, basically. Which, weirdly, isn't everyone's cup of tea. Shocker.
> 
> Okay tags for this chapter. Uh. Minor (like minuscule, blink and you'll miss it) blood and breath play. There's a slap, which I think is foreplay but is apparently physical abuse to some? I don't know. Oh and Regina has a dick, though strangely not a real one. So, no magic!cock yet. It's coming, pun fully intended.

As the sun's rays found their way through thick drapes, I stretched sore muscles and woke slowly, enjoying the heat that beat down on my exposed flesh. I smiled at the sound of chain clinking against wood and twisted my hand to run a finger along the warmed steel links, memories of the previous night playing through my mind.

We both had fallen asleep naked and evidence of our state remaining unchanged became clearer as the fog of sleep disappeared from my mind—there was more than the simple heat of the sun surrounding me as awareness of the body pressed flush against my side came to me.

A shiver travelled the length of my spine and I opened my eyes, glancing down at the head that nestled between my breasts. My smile widened as I remembered the feeling of silk as I threaded my fingers through brunette locks, which had ended up being the sole reason our night had ended with me cuffed to the bed as I had disobeyed the command not to touch one too many times.

Aside from the protestation of aching arms that had been in the same position while I slept, I had no real reason to complain. I had been preoccupied at the time, but I knew I could have escaped if I had truly wanted to. After my night of 'punishment', three weeks had passed since Regina began teaching me how to willingly access and control my magic. It had been a slow process at first, but I had become adept at some of the more basic spells.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and forced myself to concentrate on what I wanted. After another minute or two, I felt the clasps release and heard the dull thunk of them hitting the headboard as I winced, bringing my arms from above my head, one flopping down to the bed as I draped the other over a shoulder and began to stroke olive flesh.

Regina mumbled something indecipherable and pressed closer, the hand at my hip clenching briefly before relaxing again as a soft chuckle pulled from my lips. Loving the woman could be maddening at times, but when she slept, it was effortless and though I would never dare claim the brunette adorable aloud, it was the thought that ran through my head in that moment.

The Queen was a great number of things, all of which combined to make up the woman of my dreams and—on occasion—my nightmares. Adorable fit the moment; regardless of the fear for my life should she ever reveal to me that she could read minds while unconscious.

I laid there for a while, thinking over the last few years and eventually my mind turned to the conversations I had been having with Red. We talked about Snow and Charming and the first couple of times involved a bit too much alcohol, though I don't remember a whole lot from those conversations.

At some point, our discussion of them became more natural and less forced. I learned that while my supposed parents had made some questionable decisions, they were no different from anyone else. As King and Queen though, their actions affected more than just themselves, which meant those questionable decisions were much less forgivable.

Before I came to the Enchanted Forest, the only person I had to consider through the years was myself, but because of the time I spent in this world, the concept of taking others into consideration was something I learned to do. With my responsibilities to the Queen, her son—not to mention during my time as a Guard—I started thinking about how my actions would reflect on those who relied on me. I didn't have the luxury of parents to teach me right from wrong and if I could do it, I couldn't understand why they couldn't.

As far as I was concerned, if anyone deserved the evil moniker that Regina had worn for all those years, it was Snow White and no amount of excuses would ever convince me otherwise. Red had told me that the White Queen often put herself above the people she swore to protect.

When she had gone to war with Regina, it was because she was upset after allowing Rumplestiltskin to manipulate her. According to Red, her subjects had not agreed with the decision, yet she went ahead with it and it resulted in the death of many of her own people.

That same war had been responsible for Henry losing his parents and while some might consider his life much better now that he was a Prince, I still remembered the parents I had when I was three. I still found myself missing them and wondering about their lives after twenty-three years. It made little to no sense since they didn't even want me once they had their own kid, but that didn't change the fact that I noticed their absence long after they were gone.

Then there was the truce with the magically binding contract that protected Snow from punishment, even when she does something as stupid and inconsiderate as abducting other people's children because she wanted to find a daughter she doesn't even know.

With the life I experienced, I was relieved none of it happened the way everyone thought it would. The idea that I would find parents after all that time and that Regina would end up being my enemy; I couldn't see the person I was back then staying to figure out how to break a curse. I would have kept running and not once looked back because where there was magic, there was inevitably _them._

Just the thought of capture again sent a shudder through me. No one would have been worth the possibility of being taken and experimented on, especially not parents who thought it was a good idea to abandon their own child in an attempt to save themselves.

I have changed since then and though the person I became would not hesitate to risk her life for another, my life forever belonged to the Queen who had shown me that there was more to it than simple survival. For the first time since I was old enough to understand that feeling of loss and emptiness, I had found a home; somewhere worth protecting, someone worth dying for and nothing—not even my own curiosity—would take that from me.

* * *

After a day of routine that revolved around training with the Prince and very little interaction with Regina, I happily accepted Red's invitation for a drink at the tavern where everyone seemed to have gathered for the night, doing what everyone did when they had a little too much to drink.

There were two in the corner making out like a couple of teenagers, a guy who was about to break a chair over another one's head - something I would generally feel responsible for breaking up, but as I was no longer the Guard Captain, I figured someone else could deal with it.

While all that was taking place, the current Captain was busy dancing on the bar and flirting with anyone who had a pulse. I sometimes wondered if she and Killian were related, and coincidentally he was one of the things with a pulse who happened to be leering up her short skirt like the pervert he was.

"Emma!" My head snapped around at hearing my name, trying to find the source of whoever had called when a boy who couldn't have been older than twelve came skidding to a stop at my table, breathless and waving about a piece of paper. When I had taken it from his hand, he stood there as though he was waiting for something and I raised my eyebrow in question.

"My Queen requires your response before I return."

"Uh huh." Glancing down at the paper, my brow rose even further upon realisation I was being royally summoned by Regina to the palace. I looked back to the boy and rolled my eyes. "Tell Her Majesty I'll be there shortly and that no, I'm not too drunk to accomplish the walk by myself."

Grinning, he nodded as he snatched the paper from my hand before dashing off out the door and I made my way over to Red. When she saw me—to the dismay of the patrons—she dropped down to the floor and smiled at me widely while wagging her eyebrows. "If it isn't the sexiest woman here! Ready to take me home?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Sorry buddy, this woman has received a summons from her Queen."

Killian took the moment as his opportunity to make inappropriate noises, to which he rightfully received a punch in the arm courtesy of yours truly. Unexpectedly, Red draped her arms across my shoulders and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You deserve so much more than an evil witch, Emma."

My anger bubbled to the surface, despite knowing she was drunk and probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning. Not that it really mattered, since the second I opened my mouth, it snapped shut again at the voice from behind me.

"Someone needs their leash tightened."

Red's eyes widened right before she jumped backwards with a yelp, knocking in to Killian who somehow managed to keep them both upright. Before I knew it, arms snaked their way around my waist and I smiled knowingly as purple smoke rose from the ground to engulf me.

* * *

When the smoke cleared, my smile widened as I was met with the view of the Queen's bedchamber and I turned in the arms that remained firmly around my waist, my smile fading slightly at the sight of Regina's glare. I bit my lip as I contemplated a way to fix this without sustaining an injury in the process and as I watched her gaze drift to my mouth; my stomach clenched before I dismissed all thought and leaned forward to capture her lips.

Our tongues caressed and danced around one another as her hands slipped under my tunic to stroke muscles that shuddered beneath her touch, nails digging into my skin and drawing moans from deep within my throat. Unaware of the fact we were moving, I started when the back of my legs hit the bed seconds before she shoved me down and straddled me. Our eyes locked and I noted the anger still simmering beneath the lust, causing a visible shiver that elicited a sinister smirk from her.

Hands reached for my tunic and in a flash of purple, she ripped it in half, my breasts now on open display to a gaze that set my body alight with a burning need to be devoured by what I now knew to be an extremely talented mouth.

As if reading my mind—or part of her plan all along—she descended on my breast, flicking the nipple with the tip of her tongue before teeth clamped down hard and a cry tore from my throat even as my back arched in pleasure. Fingernails pierced skin as she raked them down my sternum and when I writhed below her, her thighs clenched my hips and forced me still as she took out her anger on my body.

When pained cries became pleasured moans, she turned her attention to the marks left by her nails and I whimpered at the stinging sensation left behind as she licked the length of each cut, specks of blood disappearing beneath the fervent ministrations of her tongue.

Once she seemed satisfied with the impromptu bath, she sat up and licked her lips. "Your pain tastes almost as good as your pleasure," she purred and combined with the pitch-black of her eyes, the words sent a pool of moist heat straight to my sex.

"Regina..." I winced the moment it slipped from my lips, knowing what was to come long before the sting of her hand connected with my cheek.

"Wrong," she growled and leaned forward as I closed my eyes.

Her lips pressed against my neck as I corrected the mistake, my words carried along the breathy sigh that followed the gentle sucking of my pulse. "My Queen…"

Humming her contentment, her lips trailed the line of my jaw to chin, teeth grazing skin before she pressed her mouth to mine, her tongue forcing its way inside my mouth as she claimed me with her kiss and stole every precious drop of air and more as my throat burned with the need for breath. Light-headed and starved for oxygen, my eyes closed of their own accord, stars exploding beneath the lids as I teetered on the edge of consciousness.

At the very last possible second, she pulled back and my gasps filled the air as I sucked it in, flooding my lungs with each inhale. I realised as she watched me—perfectly composed and without a single hitch in her breath—that she had used magic on herself while she practically suffocated me and I lost control. Her eyes widened in shock when my hand shot straight up, my fingers wrapping around her throat as my back arched and with a twist of my body, I forced her beneath me. "What the fuck was that?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as a snarl curled her lips. "You are _mine."_

When I laughed, I had to quickly grab her hand as she readied it to throw me from her, eyes flashing with the familiar sign of her building magic. As she struggled against my hold, I bent my head and nipped at her lips. "Stop, I wasn't laughing at you."

My words had an immediate effect as the purple disappeared, her brown eyes staring back at me with a hint of doubt. I released her wrist and throat at the same time, my fingers gliding along her neck to grasp her jaw. "I am yours; I have been from the moment I laid eyes on you. You may have refused to take my heart from my chest, but it belongs to you regardless."

I shifted from on top of her to stand on the floor, shedding the remains of the tunic from my body as I made my way to the end of the bed, grinning the entire time as I felt her eyes following my every move. Once I stood by her feet, I waited and my body flushed with heat when she licked her lips, her eyes slowly traversing my stomach and over my chest before our gazes finally met.

At her raised eyebrow, I grasped the waistband of my trousers and began to shimmy them over my hips and down my legs. Standing upright once more as I stepped out of them, I smirked as her eyes dropped to my sex, her pupils fully dilating as they took in the sight of my newly trimmed pussy.

"Red was drunk and I will not hold her accountable for what happened tonight, but if that makes you angry then you can take it out on me." Bending forward, I summoned forth my magic and curled my fist in the fabric of her dress.

"I will beg you to fuck me." I yanked at her dress and her eyes widened once again as the sound of tearing filled the room. With a glance between her legs, I realised I had discovered her plans for this evening and I grinned down at the toy that stood proudly to attention.

I climbed back on to the bed and spread her legs, kneeling between them as I gripped the base of her cock and teased her with a gentle tug. "Well now, it seems you thought of that already. How did I not feel him?"

Regina's eyes fluttered as her voice croaked with her response. "Special tailoring."

Humming my approval, I leaned forward to swirl my tongue around the tip and she whimpered as I briefly sucked her into my mouth before releasing the cock. "How did you picture this playing out, I wonder. Me on my back with you on top, pounding into my pussy as you declared me one of your possessions?"

At the shake of her head, I shifted from between her legs and slowly lowered myself down on to her waiting cock, moaning as she filled me. "Like this? Did you want to watch my breasts bounce as I impaled myself over and over again?"

Her breath hitched, but she shook her head again and groaned when I rose to my hands and knees. "I guess both of those positions still left me some control and you were rather angry with me. You didn't just want to fuck me, you wanted to shame me, make me feel helpless."

I chuckled as her cheeks reddened. "You wanted me on my hands and knees as you held me by my hair and fucked me from behind, hmm?"

As I bent down and brushed my lips lightly across hers, I asked, "What are you waiting for, My Queen?"

The instant the words were out of my mouth, purple smoke swirled beneath me and she disappeared only to reappear behind me with her hands on my hips. Looking over my shoulder, I noted the fact she was now completely naked before I noticed the way her eyes seemed glued to my sex as I felt her cock slide between my folds and enter me, filling me up once more as our moans simultaneously broke through the silence and her nails dug into my skin.

Minutes passed where her thrusts remained shallow, as though she were afraid to break me and as much as I would love the tenderness at any other time, it really wasn't the mood I was in. I wanted the start of the evening back, without the almost, but not quite, loss of consciousness. "If you want me to scream, you're going to have to do better than that."

"I... don't want to hurt you." Despite the words, her thrusts deepened and I closed my eyes as my head fell forward, a smile on my lips brought on by the warmth I felt in my heart.

"My entire torso says you're a liar." I prayed she wouldn't take it the wrong way and my breathing stopped as she stilled inside me momentarily before she began thrusting again, pushing deeper and increasing in speed with each stroke.

"I was angry." I could feel my nipples hardening at the sound of the growl that followed the words and I continued to goad her, I wanted her anger to return so that she would punish me for allowing someone else to even think of touching me.

"Mmm I can only imagine what you wanted to do to her, seeing her hanging all over me, like she ohhh fuck."

Regina had pressed her thumb between my cheeks, the pressure against my tight hole increasing until she pushed the digit inside me. Her free hand slid from my hip, caressing the path of my spine until her fingers curled in my hair and she yanked my head back. Her breath warmed my skin and I could feel the thumb as well as her cock sinking further inside me as the arching of my back forced me from the bed and she purred into my ear. "You don't need to manipulate me into fucking you, but I wouldn't say no to a little begging."

It was hard enough resisting her when it was just her fingers in me, I didn't stand a chance this time and I caved instantly. "Please, Re- my Queen."

She chuckled and tugged my hair. "How do you expect me to know what you want? Use your words, Em-ma."

"Fuck me," I growled and as the words left my lips, she let go of my hair and I slumped forward on to my hands again. She clasped my shoulder as she began pounding into me; the powerful thrusts of her hips as she slammed into me caused my pussy to throb deliciously. Regina's grunts along with my gasping moans filled the room, combining with the sound of flesh slapping flesh as our bodies collided with one another.

As I felt my inner walls clenching around her shaft, her thumb slid from inside me and her hand reached around my waist, the press of her breasts when she leaned against me had me arching in to the warmth of her body as her fingers slipped between my folds to rub my clit.

My arms strained with the effort to hold the both of us and by some miracle, I managed to push upwards, grasping on to the headboard as I cried out, her cock somehow penetrating me even further with the change of positions. She continued to violently fuck me, licking, sucking and biting the flesh of my back as her hand slid from my shoulder and around my side to harshly grope at my breast. She caressed my nipple with the light stroke of fingertips before pinching it roughly and pulling as she growled in to my ear, "Cum with me."

And with one last, hard thrust we came together, my arms finally giving out and sending us down to the mattress in a tangled heap as we shuddered against one another, our sweaty bodies writhing as we rode our separate orgasms.


	20. Chapter 20

Red stared, mouth open before she shook her head and winced—with all the alcohol she consumed last night I wasn't surprised she had a headache. "Look what she did to you," she shouted, gesturing to the marks that coloured my chest and torso, reminders of my night with the Queen.

"Calm down," I hissed. The last thing I needed was someone getting wind of what Regina and I did in the confines of her chambers, never mind the rumours that would spread around the Kingdom. Servants were known for their gossip, and the Guards were no better.

As tempting as it was to point out that it wouldn't have happened if Regina hadn't found her hanging all over me, it seemed she had yet to remember that part of the night and I wasn't in the mood for the conversation that would likely follow the revelation. I had known she had her problems with the Queen, but last night seemed more personal and if I wasn't reading into things too deeply, I wasn't ready to deal with the infatuation of a werewolf.

Instead, I glanced down at myself with a smirk and ignored the irritated huff as I started to button my shirt. Covered in scratches and the odd bruise here and there, it appeared as though I had returned from battle and while none of the pain remained, I could admit that it didn't look nearly as good as it had felt at the time.

"It's not as bad as you think," I said, knowing she wouldn't believe me. How could she? It wasn't as though we could switch bodies; my word was all she had to go on, so I tried. "We get rough sometimes, it isn't like I don't enjoy it and she wouldn't do it without my permission."

"She could have at least healed you," Red mumbled after another minute and I rolled my eyes as I retrieved my sword from beside the bed. For a woman who spent a significant amount of time dancing in a tavern, basking in the hollers and catcalls of men and women alike, she was surprisingly prudish at times.

"She offered," I replied, shrugging as I moved to the door. "I declined." Regina had spent at least an hour trying to convince me to let her undo the damage but I continuously refused and before she knew it, she was late for court and had to rush off.

Red remained quiet as we walked the halls of the palace, stopping by the Prince's rooms before the three of us made our way to the training area. Henry immediately dashed off to the small armoury Regina had added—a last minute addition, expanding what had meant to be a closet during the room's original construction. He emerged a few minutes later, a light leather jerkin over his normal outfit. Although Red was here to continue his lessons with a bow, we both learned fairly quickly that it was pointless to argue with him about his armour. No matter the weapon, Henry was adamant about his protection.

"Doesn't hurt to be safe," he scolded the last time we tried to tell him it was unnecessary since no one would be shooting arrows at him. It was hilarious and entirely too cute, and neither of us could or even attempted to argue with him since he did have a point.

I've said it before; the kid was smart and beyond mature for his age—sensible. It made me smile. _Like mother like son,_ I thought and chuckled, waving off the two curious looks directed my way as I crossed to the other side of the room where a row of benches sat.

Regina said she had them added with me in mind, knowing Henry wouldn't allow me to get away with breaking out of my agreement to watch him learn for such a silly reason as having to stand around for an hour. I didn't know if I should be worried, or flattered that she knew I would have used such an asinine argument to spend more time with her while Red taught him. I liked the kid and I loved my position as his Guard, but a choice between time with him and time with the Queen? It was obvious by then who I would always choose.

At the half hour mark, a familiar messenger arrived looking frazzled and it immediately put me on alert. When his eyes landed on me and I could see the relief flooding his gaze, I beckoned him over with the crook of my finger. I searched his hands as he moved closer, frown creasing my forehead when I realised he didn't possess a written message as usual.

"The Commander sent me to find you," he said, stopping in front of me and my brow rose in silent question. "He didn't tell me why, he just said that it was urgent and told me not to leave until you agreed to go and see him."

"Alright," I replied. Graham rarely had reason to send for me since my permanent assignment as the Prince's bodyguard—discounting the occasional request to aid a patrol, or speak to some irate member of the populace who liked me enough to listen to me. I knew he wouldn't interrupt Henry's lessons without good cause and I stood as I gestured Red over, knowing Regina would have something to say about me leaving her son in someone else's custody, part of me hoping she wouldn't find out about it.

* * *

As soon as I entered the Barracks, I spotted Graham pacing the corridor and I couldn't decipher his expression once he noticed me walking towards him. The pacing was generally his way of working out his frustration, but his eyes screamed betrayal even as they softened at the sight of me.

He grabbed my arm the moment I neared and dragged me into his office without a word, closing the door with somewhat more force than necessary. When I opened my mouth to question him, I snapped it shut as he shoved something into my hands and glared at me. "Care to tell me why Snow White is sending you letters," he growled and my eyes widened, dropping to the piece of parchment as the breath caught in my throat.

 _Why_ would _she send me a letter?_ I wondered. Had she managed to put the pieces together, despite having nowhere near the amount of information I had to work with? Anything was possible, I supposed, though it would contradict everything Regina has ever said about the woman's intelligence. "I… don't know," I mumbled and flipped it over to see the wax seal that confirmed the sender as the White Queen.

"If Regina learns of this…" Graham trailed off as I shook my head, emerging from my thoughts at his words.

"Regina _will_ learn of this," I assured. While I appreciated his concern for me, I would never hide something such as this from Regina, not when she still harboured fears that I would one-day leave her for a family who abandoned me out of some foolish sense of what was the _right thing to do_.

Our eyes locked and I offered him a grateful smile. "Thank you," I said, raising my hand as he tried to answer. "I know your loyalty to her is unwavering—I know what she could to do to you if she found out you had a hand in hiding this, but none of that will happen. I love her, Graham. Whatever this is, whatever reason _she_ has for writing to me, I won't allow her to ruin the life I have here."

I could see that he was confused, unable to understand the full meaning behind my words, but I meant what I said regardless. That night in the garden with the Queen in my arms, I made a choice and it was one that I couldn't ever see myself regretting. No matter her moods, no matter the punishments bestowed upon me for a preconceived 'wrong' that I may have committed against her; my life and my heart would forever belong to Regina.

With a nod, he didn't attempt to stop me from leaving and I headed straight back to the training room, intent on fulfilling my duty until the Prince was safely back in his room for the night and I could spend some uninterrupted time with Regina. Strangely, my curiosity was almost non-existent and I tucked the letter into my leathers without a second thought.

When I stepped through the door and came face to face with the brunette, however, my plan to wait tossed itself out of the nearest window. There was no mistaking the anger in dark eyes and I sighed, backing out into the hall and leaning against the wall as I waited for her to follow. She would never yell at me in front of Henry, but I knew it was better not to allow her the time to dwell on her anger.

Retrieving the letter, I held it up the moment the door opened and I had to bite my lip to prevent my laughter as she snatched it from my hand with a feral growl. I wasn't interested in knowing what it said, so I made no protest when she peeled off the seal and started reading.

I watched as her eyes darkened, nostrils flaring and she seemed to read it over more than once before she finally looked at me and asked, "You didn't read this?" I shook my head, thinking it obvious considering the seal was intact and she frowned. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "I thought if it was anything important, you'd tell me," I replied and Regina nodded as if she expected the answer before she flicked her wrist, a small mirror appearing in her hand.

"Fetch the Commander," she demanded of the man in the mirror and he inclined his head then disappeared as her eyes rose to meet mine. "Wait for me in the Library; I will stay with Henry until Graham arrives." I knew better than to argue with her in that moment and nodded once before pushing from the wall, brushing my hand purposely against her arm as I passed by and headed for the Library.

Unsure how long she would be, when I reached my destination, I grabbed the nearest book that caught my interest. Unfortunately, it turned out to be pointless when my mind refused to be silent and kept going back to the letter. Had Regina sent the parchment up in flames, I would have gladly gone about the rest of my life without thinking about it but since she hadn't, I couldn't help myself.

Clearly, we had to talk about whatever was in the letter, or at least she _wanted_ to talk about it regardless of my own wishes and I had no intention of dissuading her. I had few cares in the world, but I was content with whichever role she wished me to serve. If that meant listening to her rant for an hour or two, then I was more than willing to do so.

As I tossed the book on the table next to my chair, the doors flung wide and I almost jumped out of my seat as she stormed into the room. I opened my mouth to speak, but at her glare, my jaw snapped shut. The Blue Fairy appeared a moment later and my eyes narrowed at the sight of her, the mistrust I had for her ever since our first meeting flaring instantly.

"Make her read it," Blue demanded and her tone caused a red haze to manifest behind my eyes. I snarled, unsheathing my sword as I stood and before either of them could think to stop me, I had the tip pointed at her throat.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor Violence and don't worry, I too was sad it wasn't bloodier, but it ends in more sex!

"You do not command the Queen," I growled, delighted by the fear that flashed in her eyes. Regina was beside me in an instant with a hand on my shoulder, the frantic squeeze of fingers conflicting with the comforting sound of her voice as she whispered panicked words in my ear.

"… here to help us."

"… must read."

"Please, Emma…"

It was the please that snapped me out of it and my eyes darted to her, my jaw clenching as I resisted the urge to drive my fist forward. A Queen doesn't beg, I wanted to say but her hand curled around mine, lowering the sword as her other hand rose to where I could see the letter sitting between her fingers.

I stared at it; for a long time before I took it from her with a resigned sigh. Curiosity be damned, I still didn't want anything to do with Snow White, the Blue Fairy or any other part of the bullshit going on. I just wanted to guard the Prince and love the Queen without people tacking on extras at any given opportunity.

Looking from the letter to Regina, I shook the thoughts from my head. "Are we in danger?" I asked. It was the only logical reason I could think of that a piece of parchment would cause such a stupid amount of fuss and if I was right, then no matter what I wanted, I would have no choice but to read it.

"Yes," she replied simply and with a nod, I sheathed my sword as I stepped back, returning to my seat without another word as I opened it and began to read.

_Emma,_

_For eight years, I have dreamed of seeing your face. I had held you for all of five minutes before you were taken from my arms and sent to another world. I would like to explain, to make excuses for what I did to you but I know in my heart that in the end, what I did was selfish and no excuse will ever make up for the fact I abandoned my own child._

_I know you are with Queen Regina now, I have known for quite some time thanks to Rumplestiltskin, though he failed to tell me you were a grown woman. I have done unspeakable things to try and get you back, things I never thought I were capable and when I saw you, saw the loyalty you felt for her, I realised that I have lost you and with that realisation, I knew I had to tell you what I have done._

_Rumplestiltskin is free. I have been sat in Council for over a week, with people telling me I need to put my duty as Queen above my guilt as a mother, and that I need to contain my mistake rather than atone for it. I cannot do that, I will not sit back and allow that man to ruin any more lives because my people are afraid of him._

_He is free, my child and your Queen is in danger. I do not know what he plans, but I was stupid enough to believe that by releasing him, he would find a way to bring you back to me. I was wrong and it will forever haunt me, but now you know and now, perhaps, you can do what I could not._

_I am sorry, Emma. Truly._

_Snow White._

I stood with a scowl, the letter falling to the floor as I asked, "What the hell does she expect me to do about it? She sets him free, knowing what he's capable of and I'm supposed to what, save everyone from him?"

"That is exactly what she expects," Blue replied and my scowl deepened as I turned to her. "It is what we all expect."

"Well tough shit," I growled, itching to reach for my sword again as my fists clenched at my side. "I was _happy_ when I learned of my role in that curse, knowing no one would have to rely on me to break it and now I'm being told I have to save everyone anyway."

I shook my head and laughed. "Here's an idea; save your fucking selves. You're a goddamned fairy, _you_ do something about it or better yet, maybe everyone should stop pissing off a guy named _the Dark One_ and we wouldn't be in this damn mess to begin with."

Blue blinked, seemingly waiting to see if I had finished and when it was apparent I had, she gave a long, suffering sigh before she opened her mouth. It was then, as her lips tried to form that first word, in which I snapped.

Her eyes widened a split-second before it happened, before her feet lifted from the ground and she launched through the air. She cried out as her back hit the stone wall behind her and I was torn at once between the guilt of causing someone pain, and the satisfaction of that someone being _her_.

Regina moved before either won out, dropping beside the fairy as I stood there watching the woman attempt to breath. I didn't even need to think to know she had a number of broken ribs and it was with that realisation that I started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Regina snapped. She was angry, maybe even hurt by my words and I continued forward, knowing regardless of what I did to Blue, I had definitely damaged our relationship with my carelessness.

"Healer," I replied, jerking open the door without so much as a glance over the shoulder before it slammed shut behind me. I leaned back against it for a moment, eyes closing as I slowed my breathing and silently berated myself.

Whether my words made sense or not, it had been thoughtless to say them out loud. Rumplestiltskin had spent years manipulating Regina, twisting her mind until she was ripe to do his bidding. Anything she did to him, he had coming and despite what I said, I wouldn't allow him anywhere near the Queen without a fight. I may not want to be everyone's Savior, but I would always try to protect Regina and if that meant trying to save every other dumbass in the world, then I didn't have a whole lot of choice.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I pushed from the door and made my way through the halls to the wing of the castle the healer resided in. There was no use in trying to hide from the curious looks servants and guards alike threw my way, so I didn't bother and merely scowled when it looked as though one of them were considering stopping me.

I threw open the doors to the healer's room and spotted him at his desk. "The Queen needs you in the Library, _now_ ," I said, turning on my heel without waiting for his response. I knew he would follow, as his fear of Regina didn't allow for choice in the matter.

When we returned to the Library, I took my original seat by the fire and listened as the healer deemed Blue able to be moved before Regina summoned two of the guard to carry her. The five of them left and I was spared neither word nor glance from the Queen.

The strange thing was, the familiar tingle of her magic on the back of my neck hadn't preceded her departure, which meant she wasn't angry with me. It also meant, however, that she was likely more hurt or—gods forbid—disappointed and I wasn't sure either from her were preferable.

When she appeared again, I was on my feet immediately and I tried to apologise but I had barely formed a syllable before she interrupted me.

"Stop," she ordered and I obeyed with an audible snap of the jaw. My mouth ached with the effort not to ignore the command, to apologise and plead for forgiveness, to beg for her not to be mad at me but one look from her made it clear she knew I was struggling and I slumped back into my seat, heading dropping into my hands with a sigh.

"I needed a moment to process," she explained after another minute and I lifted my head. She smiled softly at what I had no doubt was the hopeful look on my expression and she dismissed the fearful thought running through my mind as she added, "I'm not upset with you."

"You're not?" My voice was barely more than a squeak but I couldn't bring myself to care as it brought forth a throaty chuckle, a fond smile curling dark lips as she shook her head.

"I am all too familiar with the feeling that comes when burdened with the expectations of others," she said, moving towards me. I leaned back, hands gripping the arms of the chair as she seated herself in my lap, knees straddling my thighs. "You were right, and it isn't fair for anyone to expect you to save them, least of all the woman who abandoned you to a far off land she knew nothing about."

"But I will," I said quietly and she nodded knowingly, as though she'd come to that realisation. It came as no surprise to me, that she would've figured that out already.

"But you will," she repeated, pressing our foreheads together as she raised a thumb and lightly caressed my cheek. "Even if I wasn't aware of your magic, it has been clear to me for some time that your heart is far too good…"

When I shook my head, she trailed off with a frown, eyes asking a question her mouth failed to form. She may have figured out my decision to help despite my words, but of course, she would never assume it had anything to do with her.

"You are the only reason," I murmured. "Everything I do, every decision I make—it's always you in mind and heart. If I do save this world, it will be for no other reason besides the one that I will be protecting you."

She pulled back, her frown even more present as she replied, "You still speak as a Knight."

I bowed my head, acknowledging her words as truth. "I will forever be your Knight," I said, raising a finger to her lips to halt the protest there, and with as much conviction as I could muster, I continued, "Except my words are not only out of loyalty, respect and devotion to my Queen, but out of the love I hold for the woman behind her."

Her tears fell swiftly and I cupped her face in my hands, trying to stem the flow with my thumbs. She stared at me as if I had handed her the meaning of life on a golden platter and a wide, bright smile broke out over her face a moment before she surged forward.

I closed my eyes as she crashed her lips against mine, accepting her body's expression of words she couldn't voice as my back sank into the plush cushion of the chair.

* * *

_"She must be some woman if this is the length you all go to."_

_Graham inclined his head, speaking as we moved deeper into the forest. "When you swear an oath to the Queen, you provide her with another life. Your reason to draw breath is no longer a matter of survival, but a promise of servitude. You eat, you sleep, you live at her behest and should you break your oath, death is your only repentance."_

_I swallowed and nodded my understanding. It seemed a harsh waste of life but as far as prices go, I'd heard worse. Pushing through the trees and stepping in to the small clearing, I came to a stop and turned to face him. "So what do I do?"_

_He gestured around us, a faint smile on his lips. "You persevere, you learn, you prove yourself worthy of a place among her Guard." Accepting the dagger he handed me, I placed it within the sheath at my hip as he added, "In one week, I will arrive at the cabin and I will either find you there, safe and sound—or I will find your corpse along the way."_

_"Very comforting there, Commander," I said dryly and he laughed as he patted me on the shoulder. "So where is this cabin?"_

_Grinning, he tapped his nose. "That is part of the test, so I am forbidden to tell you." Releasing my groan of frustration, he laughed again before he stated, "The best I can provide in terms of an answer is that you will know it once you find it."_

_With a scoff, I rolled my eyes and teased, "Comforting and helpful, very fine combination; I bet the ladies just love you."_

_"I manage," he replied, shrugging as I shook my head in response. "Off you go."_

* * *

Humming pulled me back to consciousness and I breathed in deeply as my eyes fluttered open. Heat was all I could feel for those next few minutes, against my back and around my waist. Understanding came as I focused on the wall across the room and I smiled, sighing in contentment as the heat tightened around my waist.

Then there were lips, the press of them against my shoulder, trailing slowly up to my neck where a hand pushed aside hair and a mouth settled on my pulse as the familiar pang of arousal stirred in my stomach.

I rolled over, silencing the reproach coming as I captured pouted lips, pushing the Queen on to her back and deepening the kiss as I straddled her hips.

Regina hummed, hands sliding from my thighs, over my stomach to palm my breasts. She kneaded them, stroking my nipples into hardened points before she pulled back with a husky, repeated, "Emma, Emma, Emma." Looking down at her, I couldn't help staring at her lips. I tried to claim them once more, but she turned her head and I sighed as I sat up.

"It is the middle of the afternoon," she said as if that explained everything.

It didn't.

It certainly wasn't a reason for why I couldn't kiss her again.

"That didn't seem to matter when you poofed us in here," I replied, running my hands all over her body. She arched into the caresses and it was almost as though I could _feel_ her body humming in pleasure. "Gods I need to fuck you again."

One, perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose and I opened my mouth to correct the choice of wording before I gave it a second thought. I paused, frowned, and then shook my head. "Loving you doesn't mean I can't fuck you every once in a while," I insisted and she grinned.

"Indeed it does not," she purred, only to force me onto my back as she reversed our positions. "Unfortunately, however, being Queen means you will have to wait."

"Uh uh."

I grabbed her wrists as she tried to move, pulling her down and holding her hands to each side of my head as I nipped her lower lip. "Being Queen means what you want comes before all else," I murmured, watching the bob of her throat as I licked my lips. I lifted my head until there was barely an inch between us and whispered, "Don't you want me, my Queen?"

Her eyes darted to mine and the silence stretched between us as I began to lower my head, drawing her down with me.

As my head hit the pillow, a sound of want escaped her throat and I knew her resistance was down. Releasing her wrists and bringing my hands up over her shoulders, I clasped the back of her head with one the moment our lips touched and trailed the other back down her front, resting between breasts as she thrust her tongue into my mouth.

Grinding against me, we both moaned as she coated my stomach with the slick, wet heat of her pussy and my hand seemed to take on a mind of its own, dragging blunt nails down her torso and pausing to feel the desire that caused muscles to clench before delving between her thighs.

She rocked against my hand as I slid fingers through her folds, my touch almost reverent from feeling how wet she was for me. I broke the kiss, wanting to see her as I slipped two inside. Her face contorted in pleasure and I smiled as she opened her eyes, love and lust battling within those chestnut depths.

"Emma," she gasped.

"Yes, my love?"

Her eyes darkened further and my smile transformed into a grin as she urged, "Fuck me—please, gods, fuck me."

And how could I deny a request like that?

I gripped the back of her neck firmly and rolled us, sheathing my fingers deep within clinging heat, enjoying the appreciative groan that tore from her lips as I drove my hips into the back of my hand and latched on to her pulse point.

Her body writhed beneath me, my ears filling with breathless pants and stuttered moans, interspersed with the sound of my name, said as a plea, a bargain, a command; _please_ _don't stop, I'll do anything, don't you dare stop._ I thrust harder, deeper, faster with each passing second as her pulse raced, fluttering in my mouth, against my tongue as I sucked the salted flesh of her neck and released a moan of my own as her nails dug in to the cheeks of my ass.

"Hurling that self-righteous moth into the wall was the best decision I've ever made," I growled and she started to laugh, the sound catching in her throat as I curled my fingers, beckoning her to the edge.

Her back arched in warning and I sat back, watching the waves of her release wash over her.

I brought my other hand down between her legs, fingers splaying over her mound as I found her clit with my thumb and rubbed rough, tight circles—round and round, eyes following the strain of muscles in her neck as she threw her head back and her body snapped taut.

She cried out, gods, yesses and Emma flowing together, losing coherency before she collapsed; the perfect picture of bliss with closed eyes and a faint smile on kiss-swollen lips.

"The people in the White Kingdom can feel your smugness, dear."

Grinning wide at the words, I questioned, "Should I not feel proud to be the one responsible for that look on your face?"

With what looked to be considerable effort, Regina forced her eyes open. "Oh you most definitely should be proud," she admitted. "The devotion you have shown your Queen is unmatched and she is so very grateful that her love has not been misplaced."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm beginning to think I write too much smut, yet I still don't like any of it.


	22. Chapter 22

I asked myself what you were supposed to do, when there was an entire world out there that need you to save them. Where I was from, that was the sort of question left to actors and actresses who spent their time playing a character. There were Police Officers, Fire Fighters, and Soldiers of War but rarely did the entire world depend on just one of them.

When I asked myself that question, I wondered what the character from the movies would do, and then I had a drink because I wasn't the character I was imagining at the time and this wasn't some box office life where I could remove my mask when it was over. This was my life and I was just me, a little lost orphan from nowhere, Maine who never knew any better and got lucky enough one night to end up in another world.

I drank a lot when I was in whatever town or city I settled in, running from my past while donning a new persona. I had to put on that mantle again, pretend to be someone I wasn't and it was different this time. I had to do it for people I didn't know or even care about, with the exclusion of a select few, instead of myself.

As it turned out, drinking was the answer to my question and I lost count of how much I managed to down. I woke the next morning with a headache from hell but with my arms firmly wrapped around the woman I loved. I didn't know what I expected if or when she found me, but I knew it wasn't that.

My hum of contentment worsened the ache in my head and I couldn't muffle the pained groan that followed. It was that, that roused Regina from slumber and she immediately tilted her head, looking up from where she was nestled between my breasts. She smiled somewhat sadly as she took in my appearance and her soft sigh was all I needed to confirm my suspicion that I probably looked like death warmed over, which was exactly how I felt.

"I cannot allow this again," she stated. I looked down to meet her gaze, confusion in my eyes, and she elaborated, "The drinking, Emma; you're my son's guard and I need to be able to trust that he'll be safe with you _always_."

The idea that I might one day do something that would cause her to lose her trust in me was—unappealing, to say the least but she was right. It was stupid of me to indulge to the extent that I had and no matter how much I drank, it wouldn't change the situation I was in.

"I'm sorry," I said and loosened the hold I had on her as she shifted. "It was—"

"Stupid, I agree," she interrupted, planting one hand beside my head while the other trailed fingers along my temple. "But I do understand; you've had to deal with more than anyone should in such a short period of time, and you deserve some time to unwind… or drown your sorrows, whichever it was."

"Bit of both," I admitted, eyes fluttering shut as her magic eased the throbbing in my head. I sighed, sinking into the mattress as I allowed the sensation to wash over me. It was far preferable to downing those nasty tonics Graham used to bring me.

When the pain was no longer present, one thought entered my head and I couldn't help from giving it voice. "I don't deserve you," I said. I truly felt it in that moment and as the words left me, lips pressed against each of my eyelids.

Our noses brushed as Regina moved to my mouth, and the warmth of her breath on my lips made me smile. "Nonsense," she whispered, silencing the retort that lay on the tip of my tongue as she kissed me hard.

I returned my arms to her waist, smile widening as I tugged her back down to where she belonged and deepened the kiss. Sliding my tongue into her mouth, my lips tingled with the vibration of her moan and I felt her body shudder within my grasp.

It definitely wasn't the morning I expected, but I was hardly in a position to complain.

* * *

We started the day with ample grievance for two people who would rather stay in bed together, and Regina told me as we bathed that I would need to set aside my differences of opinion—her words, not mine—and make amends with the fairy. She reasoned that there were enough people in the world who were against her, who would be against me simply for how I felt for the Evil Queen and though I had said I would rather blind myself with a red-hot poker, I understood that I needed to apologise for what I'd done.

Understanding and wanting, however, were two very different things and it wasn't until mid-afternoon when Regina found Henry and me at the stables that I resigned myself to the task. I left the Prince in the very capable hands of his mother, and took the longest route possible to the healer's wing. I knew I was making it more difficult than it needed to be, but I honestly didn't believe my actions warranted an apology.

Granted, I had harmed someone but while I would generally feel some measure of guilt for the fact, I was confident that there wasn't a soul alive who deserved it more. The literal weight of the world was dropped on my shoulders mere seconds before I was hit with her condescending attitude, and I believed if anyone should be apologising, it was her.

If Regina hadn't asked me to, it wouldn't have even crossed my mind. Blue was not someone I wanted on my side, no matter the power she had and as far as I was concerned, she wasn't someone I would trust if a time came in which we had to rely on someone else's help. In fact, I would have been more inclined to ask this Dark One for assistance over the meddling fairy.

There was something wrong, something that confused me the more I thought about everything that had happened. As far as I knew, the fairies hadn't tried to interfere with Rumplestiltskin's plans until _after_ I re appeared in the Enchanted Forest. It made me wonder what was different, why he would be interested in harming Regina now that he was free, instead of finding a solution to the problem she created by not casting his curse.

It was obvious, to myself at least, that he must have had a reason for wanting it cast in the first place. Surely, whatever that reason was hadn't come to pass and it made no sense for him to go to all that trouble, only to have the freedom handed to him on a silver platter wasted with a petty thing like revenge.

I had never met him, nor could I have claimed to know him, or how his mind worked, but from what I had gathered through the talks I shared with Regina, the idle gossip among the people, and the tales told of him; he was deceptive, manipulative—intelligent. Killing the one person you thought could do what you couldn't, didn't make a lick of sense to me.

Confusion aside, I knew that I would need to do as Regina said. Even if I approached the Queen with my suspicions regarding the fairies, Blue had to think she was still in control to divert suspicions of her own. She wouldn't be the first person I had to deal with that pretended to be something she wasn't, I'd known people like her my entire life—hell, I spent years running from those same type of people.

When I entered into the room, the healer was attending to her and I waited by the door, observing the two. Regina had said fairies healed as we did, that because their magic was a product of the dust dwarves mined for them, they didn't like to waste it on themselves. It sounded too noble to me, and by the look of Blue, it was obvious she didn't share the sentiment.

It had been two days since the incident in the Library and thanks to my big mouth, I was more than familiar with agony of multiple broken ribs, agony she clearly wasn't experiencing as she reclined against the headboard.

"Emma," she acknowledged me. "What a pleasant surprise."

Her blank expression said it was anything but, and I mused on the consequences of further injuring her simply because her tone grated on my nerves. Even wounded, she managed to talk down to me as though I were a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

"Blue," I replied, inclining my head to the healer as the man slipped passed me and left to provide us some privacy. "My Queen thinks I owe you an apology."

Had I thought her capable, I might have mistaken the twitch of her lips for a smile. "I take it you don't agree," she said. "Perhaps you would rather inflict more harm?"

If there was one good thing I could say about the moth, it was that she certainly knew me well enough. "It crossed my mind," I answered truthfully, wandering over to the chair by the window and dropping into it.

"You two are more alike than I thought."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I could guess. "Somehow, I don't find that observation as worrisome as your tone implies."

"You are both filled with so much anger," she continued, almost as if she were talking to herself before she looked me straight in the eye and spoke next. "It was her anger that led to her downfall."

"Please," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Her problem was that she trusted people who were only out for themselves; her mother, Snow, Rumple…" _You_ , my mind added. "Let's not pretend she had a choice in the matter by blaming her emotions. If it were anyone else in her shoes, they'd either have given up and killed themselves or done the exact same thing."

"And what of your life, Emma?"

I blinked, anger over a life not my own replaced with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You've been alone for most of it, used and abused by people who claimed to love you," she said and my jaw clenched. "You chose neither of those two paths."

"You cannot compare my life to hers," I snapped as I shot to my feet. "There was no sorcerer whispering in my ear, no mother to pretend I was good enough, to turn around and tell me I wasn't when I did something to displease her. I was never good enough, at least the mothers I had never bothered to lie to me. All she wanted was to be loved and the one person, who should have supported her, stole that chance from her."

When silence was all she offered, my gaze shifted to the wall and I swallowed both the anger and sadness that swelled within me. Love had never been my weakness. Anyone who claimed to love me, who convinced me to believe in that love, were simply people I accepted would eventually hurt me.

When all was said and done, maybe I had never fallen in love before because I was destined for Regina. Maybe life played the way it did for a reason and we were all part of some big plan, and maybe personal choice meant jack shit but I wasn't about to let someone condemn Regina for a life that she suffered, while others prospered.

The roles she played; daughter, wife, mother, queen—she wasn't given a choice and when she was, when she became a student of the Dark One, it was to _escape_ those roles. She pushed her mother through a mirror, killed her husband, exiled her daughter and agreed to cast a curse that would take away the only thing she had left. She didn't want to be Queen, was ready to give up everything for a chance at happiness, only to find out she'd been betrayed by the only person she trusted.

Turning my attention back to the fairy, I forced my expression blank and spoke in a tone to match. "I apologise for the injury you sustained due to my loss of control," I said. "And I ask your forgiveness; though I will understand should you choose not to give it."

Blue studied me and I stood my ground, patient as I awaited her decision. She smiled after a moment. "I will not grant you forgiveness, as you do not truly seek it," she replied. "I will, however, offer you a piece of advice?"

Breathing in deeply, I chewed my lower lip and inclined my head, both in acknowledgement of her words and curiosity of what advice she could possibly have for me.

"Loyalty and obedience rarely coincide," she cautioned. "Decide which is more important because a time will come when both are put to the test."

* * *

Regina found me in her garden not long after I departed the palace. As lost in thought as I was, I didn't register her presence until the skirts of her dress entered my sight. I straightened from my hunched position on the bench, leaning back as I looked to her with a smile.

She sat beside me without word, placing a hand on my thigh as she waited. I wasn't sure what she expected me to say—if she wanted me to apologise for not coming to find her, if she was upset that I hadn't returned to my duty as I said I would when I left her that morning.

Apparently, I took too long to figure it out, as she was the one to speak first. "Have you been out here this whole time?"

I knew it had been hours, and I realised she must have been worried about me. "Since Blue," I admitted, warmth spilling into my chest as she pressed against my side.

She froze for a split-second as I turned my head and caught her by surprise, capturing her lips in a kiss but then her nails dug into my leg as she relaxed, warning me against breaking away from her before she had the chance to return it. I grinned, letting her dictate its end and nipping her lower lip when she pulled back.

"Was that an 'I'm sorry you have a new enemy' kiss?" she teased and I chuckled, taking her hand from my thigh and entwining our fingers as I replied.

"No," I said, bestowing another kiss to the back of her hand. "She caught on to the fact I wasn't there of my own free will, tried to make me see the error of my ways and when she realised she'd have more luck talking to a brick wall, she settled for giving me a warning about something in my future."

"Oh?" she prompted and I sighed, lowering my head to her shoulder.

"I have no idea what she was talking about."

Laughing softly, her lips brushed the top of my head as she murmured, "You're intelligent when you choose to be, I'm certain you'll figure it out in time to avoid whatever disaster she's foreseen."

I grunted noncommittally, changing the subject as I asked, "Where's the kid?"

"With your mother," she replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuuun.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is short because I hate Snow and hearing her voice in my head while typing makes me want to murder small children... Actually, that might be because I think they're annoying, but if it's between them and Snow? I love children.

My hands shook as I walked through the halls to the War Room. When Regina informed me that Snow White was here in the castle, she simply vanished a moment later. No questions, no answers—just that one, inconsolable fact and then… nothing but purple smoke. I was confused, I was curious but most of all, I was beyond angry. How often had I said I wanted nothing to do with the woman? Was I not obvious, should I have said it more often? Were my words heard and simply ignored, or was there some way I hadn't conceived in which wanting nothing to do with her had somehow translated into meaning the exact opposite?

Did Regina not _care_? Was it not enough; what everyone already expected of me, that I needed to be dragged through something more, something likely more painful and confusing than anything I had faced before. I hated my parents. I could spend every moment of every day excusing what they had done. I did, in fact, do that for a vast majority of my life. Through foster homes and during cold nights out on the streets—when I slept in my bug with nothing more than a worn blanket to keep me warm and the hunger pains echoing within my gut as I tried to sleep.

Often, I lay awake considering scenario after scenario, trying to find a reason that _stuck_ , that made me think _"This_ , _this I can accept. I can forgive them this."_ I would spend hours upon hours contemplating these scenes, wondering why they left me on the side of the road with only a blanket and a name, a name no one was even certain was _mine_ until the first family that adopted me decided it was as good a name as any other.

My head throbbed and I needed to stop moving. It was just for a moment, a couple of seconds where I leaned against a wall and concentrated on calming my emotions. I hadn't felt such anger in a long, long time and I could feel my magic building inside of me as I tried to focus on the things Regina had taught me over the months. She once said that all I needed was something happy; a place, a person or a thing that made me feel safe—loved— _warm_. And I tried, I tried so hard but all I could picture was her and I was mad at her. I was angry because she decided to play family matchmaker or some such bullshit and I didn't _want_ it.

Without her I had no happy place and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the power within expand, thrumming through my veins and etching its way into my flesh as it sought an escape. My hand slapped against the wall, blunt nails raking down stone as the ground shook beneath my feet.

Whether it was seconds or minutes before she arrived, I couldn't be sure but one moment I was alone, and then the next she was there. My eyes snapped open as I felt the added presence, the familiar purple cloud blurring my vision as her hands reached for mine and encompassed me with their warmth. The ground continued to shake as she took me into her arms, speaking words I didn't understand but sounded soothing all the same as I hid my face in the crook of her neck.

More minutes passed and the shaking eventually stopped. Her voice remained, words whispered into my ears that started to make sense as calm descended around me. She was reassuring me, telling me she loved me—that she'd do anything to protect me, even if _anything_ meant putting aside her differences and tolerating the presence of the woman she hated most.

I frowned, forehead furrowed as I listened to the soft, yet firm tone of her voice. "We need her," she said and I raised my head, confused as I stared at the expression she wore; confident but also… apologetic.

"We need her," I repeated. She nodded, reaching up and tucking a stray curl behind my ear as I questioned, "Why do we need her? She abandoned me, she hurt _you_ ; I don't want her anywhere near us."

"My sweet, volatile Knight," Regina chuckled, her hand cupping the back of my neck as I tried to pull from her arms. "As much as it pains me to admit it, she knows more about the Dark One than either of us. She has had almost a decade to interact with him, whereas I have spoken to him no more than twice since his imprisonment."

She brought our foreheads together and I closed my eyes, realizing the mistake I'd made as the anger drained from me and regret took its place. I sighed, a self-depreciating sound stuck in the back of my throat as she pressed her lips to mine.

"I'm sorry I left as I did," she said after a brief silence. "I felt something was wrong with Henry, and I…"

 _Panicked_ , I finished with the thought. "S'okay," I replied, a faint smile on my lips. "Is he alright?"

"Fine," she dismissed the concern with an exasperated huff. "Minor accident due in no small part to the fact he was showing off, which is something I'm inclined to blame you for; he used to be such an angel until you showed up."

My smile spread to a grin as her tone changed to one of teasing. "Sorry," I said, not sounding in the least bit contrite.

"Mmm," she hummed, sliding the hand from my neck to caress my cheek as my eyes fluttered open. "Do you think we could move now without you trying to tear the castle apart?"

I sighed and nodded.

As we entered the War Room, she placed her hand at the small of my back when I refused to budge further than the doorway and suddenly I was walking forward, guided by her insistent yet gentle touch. Panic rose in my throat and all I could think was _why_ , despite knowing the answer. I felt an odd sense of betrayal, as though the Queen intended to upset me by allowing this woman anywhere near me and when I looked to her, I knew I hadn't hidden the feeling as a flash of pain entered her expression.

It passed in the blink of the eye though, and her features smoothed as the mask I loathed to see settled into place. I turned to find our interaction was being scrutinized, and immediately forced my gaze to the floor. I wasn't ready to face this, I didn't think I ever would be and I felt something I never wanted; I felt resentment. We didn't need Snow White. It was because of this woman that we were in the position we found ourselves in to begin with. She was the reason Rumplestiltskin was free, _she_ caused this mess and now I was being forced to exist in the same room as her.

"Snow," Regina greeted, my eyes drifting to Henry who wore a frown as he returned my stare. "I believe I owe you a proper introduction. Snow White, meet Emma Swan; my most loyal Knight and personal Savior."

Blinking, I forced my gaze from the Prince and raised an eyebrow at the Queen. She knew I despised that title, but to think of myself as _her_ Savior—I was surprised to find it didn't upset me half as much, and I guess it showed as her mask cracked a little under the mischievous twitch of her lips.

"Emma…" Despite my better judgment, my attention focused on the woman before me. She stepped forward—for what reason, I was unsure—and I took a step back, declaring my stance on the whole encounter without speaking a word. The smile she wore faltered and she sighed. "I suppose expecting to be welcomed with open arms was too hopeful, even for me."

"You're a lot of things, but welcome isn't one of them," I said, voice blank as my eyes hardened. "Had I known you were coming, I would have escaped when I had the chance."

"Like it or not, as of two days ago, there are things we need to discuss," Regina reasoned, rolling her eyes at me as she crossed the room. I deflated where I stood and bowed my head with a sigh.

"Emma…" she called softly. "Come sit, you can yell at me for blindsiding you later."

Try as I might, I couldn't resist the small smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth and I did as requested as I dragged myself over to a chair, ignoring the eyes I felt on me as I slumped into it and knowing I would probably have forgiven Regina before all was said and done.

There was a knock at the door and Henry stood as Graham appeared, wishing his mother goodnight before he moved to the other end of the table where I sat and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Night Emma," he whispered.

Ignoring the gasp I assumed came from Snow; I ran my fingers through his hair. "Sweet dreams, little dude," I replied, grinning as his face lit upon hearing the affectionate nickname and he pecked my cheek again.

The room went silent as Henry moved to the Commander and playfully ordered him to carry his Prince. He had become accustomed to my piggybacking him all over the place, and I chuckled at the equally playful look of exasperation Graham shot me before he swung the boy up onto his shoulders and strolled from the room.

"That was… different," Snow commented and I rolled my eyes, slouching further down in my seat as I crossed my legs at the ankles and half-heartedly glared across the table at Regina.

She pretended not to notice, naturally.

"Snow," she said, gesturing to the chair Henry had vacated. "Sit down so we can get this over with." I could tell she wanted to protest being told what to do but with a single glance over to me, Snow complied with the order as she sat down, and immediately began to fidget with her hands in her lap.

"First," Regina began, cutting through the tension as though it were non-existent. "I would like some clarification." Snow nodded, listening and I crossed my arms, more interested than I was willing to admit. "When the imp told you what I was planning, did he say why?"

Snow frowned. "He never told me what you were planning," she answered and we both straightened. "Blue was the one who warned us, not Rumple."

"I fucking knew it," I blurted, not thinking as I startled both of them and jumped to my feet. "I'm going to kill that damn bug."

Halfway to the door, I suddenly found myself unable to move as Regina purred, "Care to elaborate on what it was you say you knew before you attempt to murder one of my guests?"

"Blue," I growled, struggling against the invisible restraints before giving up once I realized how pointless it was as I explained. "I _knew_ it didn't make sense that Rumple would want to kill you. There was a reason he chose you to cast his curse and even if you did turn against him, whatever he wants in that other world is still _in_ that other world—he still needs you, Regina."

Silence reigned for a moment, and then she cleared her throat. "Even if your theory is correct," she replied, releasing me from my bonds and waiting until I turned before she questioned, "What will killing her accomplish?"

"World peace?" I answered sarcastically, shrugging at her deadpan stare. She was right, of course; not only would killing the fairy accomplish nothing, but also Blue needed to live if there was any chance we might learn of her plans. More importantly, _I_ needed to live and while I seemed suicidal at times, I really wasn't.

"Why aren't you angry?" I demanded sense, scowling as I threw myself back down into the chair. "She lied to you."

Regina smiled, amused and irritatingly so as she assured me, "I will deal with her in time. For the moment, we need to concentrate our attention on the Dark One. If what you think is true, then he intends to find a way to force me to do as he wants and that means I'm not the only one in danger anymore."

"Henry," I guessed, finally understanding _something_ in the midst of everything.

"And you," she added with a nod before turning back to Snow. "Tell me everything you remember about what he's said to you over the years, about me and about Emma."


	24. Chapter 24

Somewhere between my third and fourth glass of wine, I picked up the ability to deafen myself to the conversation happening around me—or perhaps I'd drifted off to sleep and jolted at the sound of a chair scraping across the floor. Either way, all three of us survived Snow White's visit unharmed and I couldn't be happier that it was finally over. The talk can't have lasted for more than two hours, but by the time a guard came to escort the White Queen to her chambers for the evening, I was pleasantly tipsy and devoid of what minor frustration I held onto when we first entered the room.

Bits and pieces of the conversation trickled into my thoughts over the course of the hour that followed. Regina had stood and walked over to me the second the door closed behind Snow, and in that hour she remained curled within my lap, seeking something—comfort, perhaps; as though simply being near me would erase everything that happened in the past few days.

Blue was playing everyone, surprise surprise. None of us could figure out why, and while the giant gnat still occupied a room in the castle, Regina had made it clear that no one would confront her until we uncovered something of what she planned. Snow wasn't much help in regard to her _or_ the Dark One. Although imprisoned for almost a decade, no one had thought to question Rumplestiltskin, as if they simply accepted the fact he had orchestrated events that changed all of their lives, on multiple occasions, and left it at that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, what with how narrow-minded and miserably black and white this world had proven to be in the short time I'd spent here. All we learned from Snow was that Blue's honeyed words, filled with hope and contrite idiocy had convinced the King and Queen to abandon their child for the good of the realm. I was really getting tired of the Savior bullshit everyone seemed intent to believe. If only they knew of the life I led before I was dumped in the forest; the way I never stayed in one place for more than a few months, if that. How I trusted no one—their reliance on me was, bluntly put, laughable.

Me, a Savior; maybe in another life.

Regardless, it didn't much matter anymore. Rumplestiltskin had failed, seemingly thanks to the fairy and now it was simply a matter of waiting for the Dark One to make his next move. I admit I was somewhat curious. Was he going to attempt to cast his curse again? Would he try to convince Regina that it was right, that Blue had lied to her and he'd never planned to use me? Whatever his plan, everyone seemed to agree that I was the key to stopping him this time. Blue told Regina of my return and kept it from Snow for a reason, Snow sent that letter to warn me and even Regina thought I would save them somehow, even if she didn't truly _want_ me to.

After a while, I merely stopped thinking altogether. It was too much for one day and I had already lost control once, panicking as I had upon finding out my biological mother was somewhere in the castle being entertained by the Prince while Regina might as well have hit me over the head with the news in the garden.

When Regina finally collected herself enough to move, she stood without word and offered me a hand. I accepted, feeling the warmth gather in my chest as I rose and followed her from the room. We walked the halls and it took me a while before I realized we were heading towards Henry's chamber. I should have known that with all the talk of danger, she would want to be close to him.

She climbed on to his bed as though she'd done so countless times before and wrapped herself around him, glaring at me when I tried to sit in the chair across from them before she gestured to the space behind her. I resigned myself to obeying her and followed suit, mirroring her position as I gathered them both in my arms. I wasn't certain how Henry would react upon waking to the both of us, but I wasn't going to risk the Queen's ire to find out.

* * *

Morning came, bringing with it the blinding light of the sun shining through the window and an almost suffocating heat. I groaned and buried my face in the pillow beneath my head, surprised to find that when I tried to shift, my body refused to obey as another weighed me down.

Lifting my head and blinking through the haze of sleep, the first thing I noted was the knee digging into the back of my thigh, and the second was the breathtaking sight of the Queen in slumber next to me. I eventually realized that it wasn't the light form of the Prince that held me down, but the arm draped across the both of us—possessive, but protective and undeniably safe.

With a soft puff of laughter, I dropped back to the pillow in time to witness the flutter of chestnut eyes and I greeted my Queen with a smile as her forehead creased. "I see we all relocated during the night," she husked, offering a smile when my own widened in response.

"When I woke, I thought the room might be on fire," I replied, receiving the rise of an eyebrow in silent question. "For someone so small, he generates far too much heat," I clarified, delighting in the throaty little chuckle it drew from her.

The sound roused the Prince, who squirmed before he rolled from my back and into the space between his mother and I. We both watched him silently as his eyes opened and his brow furrowed, confusion in his gaze as he glanced from Regina to me, and back again.

"What's going on?" He looked to me as he asked and I wondered if it was because he thought Regina wouldn't tell him the truth, or because he knew that his mother required more time to wake than I did.

I met her gaze, seeking an answer to my curiosity and distracting him as I raised a hand and ran my fingers through his hair. Uncertainty stared back at me and my hand drifted over his head to rest in the crook of her neck, thumb stroking her jaw as I smiled and returned my attention to the Prince. "I didn't know my mother while I was growing up," I said, tangling my fingers in the hair at the nape of Regina's neck as I spoke.

She had opened her mouth. Maybe it was to protest the lie or maybe she would rather confess the truth than hear the sadness so clear in my voice but either way, she sighed softly and closed it again as I continued, "The woman you met last night; that was her. Meeting her for the first time was hard and I needed the comfort of my family, so I convinced your mother that we should sleep in here with you."

Family; the word flashed like a bright neon sign in my head and my heart sped up. The word had flown from my mouth before I could stop it and I couldn't take it back, not with the way Regina smiled at me; warm, happy—I would have sworn her eyes _twinkled_ when I said it.

"Oh."

I licked my lips and cleared my throat to reassure him. "I'm okay now," I said, winking as I added, "You make an excellent blanket."

His face lit with a grin and I inclined my head, purposefully dragging my gaze from him to Regina. He turned, throwing an arm and leg over her with a mumbled, "Morning Mom," and I smirked, rolling from the bed before she thought to stop me.

"Where do you think you're going?" she questioned, voice calm despite the thoughts that I had no doubt were running through her head. She knew me too well for them not to be there.

From across the room, I glanced over my shoulder with a forced grin. "Food," was all I offered as I pulled the door open and stepped into the hall, closing the door behind me with a sigh.

I pressed a hand to the wall and tried to slow the rate of my heart. Love was damned terrifying but family? The thought of family was another matter entirely. Family for me translated as abandonment, as an unending hunger and the occasional drunken beating. I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone. She was my Queen, the woman I promised my life and yet being included among those I considered family somehow seemed a disservice to her.

Regina was loyalty, trust, safety—the complete opposite of family and it felt wrong. She was so much more to me, too good to be counted as part of the ilk I had grown up with.

"Emma?"

I didn't know when I had closed my eyes but at the sound of my name, at the sound of _that_ voice, they snapped open and narrowed on the woman coming down the hall. Snow goddamn White was the catalyst for all the shit that had happened to me until I found Regina and in that moment, I knew I had to keep my distance.

"Are you alright?"

My lip curled in a grimace and I pushed from the wall. "Fine," I growled, ignoring her sigh as I brushed passed and made my way toward the kitchens. For all her faults and the mountain of evidence I had to the contrary, she was at least smart enough not to follow and as I rounded the corner, my shoulders slumped in relief at no longer feeling the eyes boring into my back.

* * *

"I don't know what to tell you, Snow."

I stilled outside the door as Regina's voice came through, my arms loaded with as much food as the cook permitted I take from the kitchens. It was probably more than necessary, but Henry and I were both known to gorge ourselves from time and time, and Regina would no doubt be entertained by how burdened I was.

"Emma is…"

At the utterance of my name, I decided then and there that I didn't want to hear the rest. Regina could talk about me all she wanted, but I would be damned before I allowed her to provide Snow White with insight into me. If she wanted to know who I was, then she would have to work for it like everyone else.

Under normal circumstances, the surprise that registered on their faces when I shoved open the doors might have garnered a laugh, but this was far from normal and I ignored them entirely as I unloaded the food from my arms onto the table beneath the window. Once I was finished, I turned on my heel and was almost to the door before Regina spoke up.

"You aren't staying?"

I shook my head, not bothering to turn as I said, "I've suddenly lost my appetite."

"Emma…"

She sighed and I felt the stirrings of guilt pull at my chest but I carried on, yanking open the door before I paused. "Enjoy your breakfast, I'll be by to pick up the Prince in an hour."

I didn't wait for a response. I knew I was being hasty. I had no idea what the two of them were talking about, other than me. My best guess was that my avoidance for some reason confused Snow White and Regina was trying to explain what I had never put into words.

Head down, I avoided eye contact with guards and servants alike, knowing it would make them think twice about approaching me as I made my way through the castle to the gardens. It was the only place I could think of that would provide a semblance of peace, somewhere where I could be alone if only for a short while.

We rarely spoke of my life before I came to this world and while Regina could probably understand me far better than any other, I had never been willing to open myself up enough to describe just how much damage was done to me in that other world. She prodded every now and then, but she seemed to understand that there were some things that, no matter how hard she tried, I would never fully explain.

Ever since that fateful afternoon in the stable and the days that came after in which she nursed me back to health, she had allowed me the freedom to be the person I wanted to be. Unfortunately, that person wasn't one who shared easily and as such, she didn't have the misfortune of knowing the pain I endured for all those years nor, I hoped, would she ever.

Were I not adverse to the word, I would go so far as to claim that I was broken. However, that implied that I thought I could be fixed and nothing short of erasing my memories would come close to repairing all that was wrong with my past.

I avoided Snow White because I no longer needed the person she wanted to be. I stopped needing people when I was twelve years old; my foster brother proved how little I meant to the world. I stopped needing a mother days later, when I tried to tell her what her son had done to me, only to be carted off back to the home for trying to ruin a real, true family with my disgusting lies.

For years while on the run, I would dwell on those past memories. Some provided me with strength to keep going, while others would prevent me from being able to move for days, so tired and done with the world that I would have preferred to curl into a ball and slowly starve to death than spend a single day more trying to cope.

Yet, I eventually always emerged from the darkness that enveloped me. The things that reminded me life was worth living were always so small, so insignificant when one was content with what they had and where they were.

With a reminiscent smile, I lowered myself to the ground beneath the Queen's apple tree, stretching my legs as I tilted my head back and stared up at the bright red fruit dangling from the branches.

From something as simple as a colour, to a specific scent; the smell of cookies wafting beneath the small crack in my door from the apartment across the hall where a little old lady liked to bake every Saturday morning—the pleasing aroma of rain that invaded ones senses as it drummed against the roof.

The reminders weren't always so pleasant, but they still proved that there was far more to life than the past. If not for those reminders, I never would have known the warmth found within the embrace of another or the sheer comfort of a kiss given thoughtlessly, as though I were simply part of a morning routine that wouldn't be skipped.

I didn't break. I survived, and the past was no place for a survivor to live when the present had so much more to offer.


	25. Chapter 25

Sat beneath the apple tree, I allowed my mind to wander for a time. No matter what thought occurred to me, it was followed almost immediately by the question I had yet to find an answer to. Everyone was counting on me to be their Savior, to figure out a way to stop the Dark One once and for all. It was a lot of pressure, but I knew, given my options, there wasn't a whole lot of room for choice.

How; was the question and I was stumped. How was I meant to defeat an evil centuries old? I was no more than an annoying speck on this Dark One's radar, with magic that was temperamental at best and dangerously explosive at worst. I'd almost caused an earthquake in the middle of the castle, and Regina, Blue—Snow were all counting on _me_ to save them.

The idea was even more ridiculous than when they'd first told me. I wasn't cut out for this knight in shining armour crap, and no amount of dwelling on the thought was going to make it any less absurd. Still, that knowledge did very little in terms of me not thinking about it and I knew if I didn't leave soon, I'd end up spending the entire day in the garden, brooding about it.

It was as I stood, trying to recall the itinerary with the Prince for the day that I felt it. There was another presence in the garden, one that didn't belong; that announced itself in the form of a suffocating weight pressing down on my shoulders. I should have been afraid, but I was a creature of habit and even as it seemed to take an extraordinary amount of effort to breath, my eyes scanned the garden with a curious sweep.

Instinct alone told me to step forward and turn, and when I did, there he stood, one hand against the tree I'd been sat against. I recognized him straightaway from the descriptions Regina had given me when we sometimes spoke at night of her past. This was the Dark One, the ancient evil meant to tear the world asunder.

Looking at him, even that thought seemed absurd in the moment. With the shiny green skin and vaguely reptilian eyes, he seemed less an ancient evil and more a leather clad goblin. The longer I stared, the higher his brow rose and as the weight lifted from my shoulders, it was then that I felt the smirk slowly growing on my lips.

"A rather unusual reaction to my appearance," he noted, straightening from his position.

"Sorry," I offered with a shrug. "Guess I've seen too many horror movies." He tilted his head in confusion and it reminded me of where I was. "Right, no movies here. Never mind."

"My, you are a curious one."

Resisting a shudder at his tone, I folded my arms and cleared my throat. "Did you want something?"

He waved a hand. "Merely wanting to sate a curiosity, dearie."

He moved closer and for better or worse, I stood my ground as he began to circle me. It made me think of Regina and the first time we officially met; dark eyes roaming every inch of my body and making me feel as though I was nothing more than a piece of meat. Unlike Regina, his gaze seemed to be searching for something beyond how I might look spread out beneath him and it was ultimately that, that helped me remain calm.

"For someone meant to bring about my demise, I find myself to be rather…" He paused, standing before me as he sought the right word and eventually settled on, "Unimpressed."

I couldn't help myself, the sound burst from my chest as I laughed. For someone with his reputation, I expected far more than reality delivered and his comment summed up my own feelings on the matter perfectly.

"Ditto," I replied, brow raised. "If you're the best this world can do for a walking nightmare, you might want to go and thank Regina for not casting that curse of yours."

"Believe me, I have every intention of thanking her, Miss Swan." My body stiffened. No one had called me that since—"A favour should always be shown gratitude, after all, as unintentional as said favour may have been."

His words snapped me from the memories trying to take hold and I frowned, confused as I questioned, "What are you talking about?"

"All in good time, dearie." He turned then and I almost reached out to try and stop him before he spoke again. "Do tell Her Majesty that I will be by shortly, we have much to discuss."

As smoke gathered about his feet, he glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, and give my condolences to the Blue Fairy; how disappointed she must be of her chosen Savior, " he laughed, the mocking sound engulfed within the black cloud along with its owner as both vanished from sight.

I left the garden and tried to make sense of what just happened as I walked through the halls of the palace. Rumplestiltskin was nothing at all of what I expected, and I saw nothing of the man that Regina spoke of late at night. He was supposed to be the monster under the bed—the boogey man you called your parents to banish in the night, afraid he would take you while you slept if you left him in the closet—assuming one had parents to begin with, at least.

Everyone believed he wanted Regina dead, yet nothing about him screamed at me that that was true. I knew he could be manipulative but what he'd said—about thanking Regina for some favour she supposedly did? He sounded genuine. I sensed hesitance—nostalgia and longing in his voice but no deception.

Was I kidding myself? Perhaps. Maybe I simply wanted to believe his words because I didn't like the alternative. I had killed once in my life before, I possessed no desire to do it a second time and when it came to doing things I didn't want to do, I was exceptionally skilled at talking myself out of doing them. I didn't want to be the Savior—I didn't want to save these people and I'd made no secret of that fact. Denial was a skill that I excelled at, but this felt different.

From the moment I met Blue, something felt off. Everything about her stunk of falseness; the words, the smiles. I admired women who weren't soft spoken, who didn't slap on the femininity card in an excuse to be meek—submissive. Blue wasn't one to let me get away with my shit, but even that had red flags popping up all over the place and the more time I spent in her presence, the less I trusted her.

I've made an undeniable number of mistakes in my life, but I've learned to trust my instincts, and my instincts were telling me I was on the wrong side of the story. If I was meant to protect Regina and stop the Dark One from fulfilling whatever fucked up prophecy I was involved in, then why did he refer to me as Blue's Savior?

* * *

"You're late," the Queen spoke before I had even sighted her.

Despite the annoyance in her tone, I grinned. I still worried sometimes that she would grow tired of waiting for me, that she would call an end to our nighttime talks because of how rarely I was on time.

"I know," I murmured, trying my best to sound contrite. I hated being late, but saying no to Red and Graham when they invited me to the tavern was a lot harder when I was trying to avoid something.

"That's the second time today."

I nodded. I wanted more time to think and after leaving the tavern, I'd wandered out to the stream in the forest. It didn't take much more than a bit of fresh air to sober me up, but it wasn't until I did that I realized I was late. "I lost track of time."

"You said that this morning," she said, eyes narrowed. It was yet another reason being late wasn't worth it. If Regina sensed _anything_ she didn't like, she'd hold on to it by the throat until she got what she wanted, and she always got what she wanted.

"It's as true now as it was then," I replied. I hadn't told her about my visitor. I couldn't, not at the time. I was still so unsure about everything and with Snow there, I didn't want to risk them planning something without me present.

If it was true. If Rumplestiltskin really was the enemy, then I was supposed to protect them and letting them run off to scheme while I was dealing with the Prince seemed somewhat counterproductive. Regina may have waited, but I didn't trust Snow and knowing the relationship she'd had with Blue in the past wasn't helping to convince me that I should.

She sighed. "Emma."

Smiling at the clear exasperation in her tone, I closed what remained of the distance between us and teased, "My Queen," as I reached down to cup her cheek

"Don't do that," she chided, leaning in to my hand. "You know it distracts me when you call me that."

I caressed her cheek with a chuckle and bent down, pressing a kiss to her lips before releasing her as I straightened. "That is the point, Your Majesty," I confessed, removing the sword from my hip and placing it against the bench before I dropped down beside her.

"Well don't," she groused. "I would like to talk, more importantly; I would like to talk about whatever it is you're hiding from me."

"What makes you think I'm hiding anything?"

She turned to me. "I know you," she said, daring me to deny it with an eyebrow raised in challenge. "Now tell me, before I lose my temper."

I chuckled, used to the threats by that point. "That's a rather undesirable form of incentive."

With a sigh, she pressed into my side and I slid an arm around her as she lay her head upon my shoulder. "I could send you to sleep in your old room."

The protest was immediate; a vehement, resounding shout of _no_ on the tip of my tongue. I knew better though. She would laugh or at the very least, smirk knowingly. It was no secret that I despised being away from her, more so in sleep than at any other time. "Tell me about Rumplestiltskin," I said instead.

As torn as I was between believing him and believing what I'd been told, I needed to know more before I passed on his message. I didn't know him, I'd never met him until then. I needed to know if there was ever a time—even if only for a second, that Regina doubted the reputation in favour of the man behind it.

"No," she replied, jostling me with the shake of her head. I waited. There was too little hesitation—too much curiosity in that one word for her to be finished. "Why?"

"Humour me," I shrugged. "What was he like? I mean when he wasn't teaching you, you said he used to visit you. Why?"

Lifting her head, she stared at me for a few minutes, searching for something, before she sighed and lay back against my shoulder. "Then you'll tell me?"

"Sure."

"Emma," she growled.

I groaned, "Yes." The woman was like a dog with a bone. "Tell me what he was like and I'll tell you why I was late this morning."

"And now," she added.

"I had too much to drink and went for a walk to sober up," I explained. It wasn't a lie, at least. If she asked _why_ I had been drinking however… "There, I answered one for you, your turn."

"You do smell as though you were kidnapped by pirates," she commented, a smirk in her voice.

Grinning, I kissed the top of her head and murmured into her hair, "I was. Hook took me out on his ship and we had a rum soaked orgy with his crew."

She laughed. "I will endeavor to research cures for the numerous diseases you've no doubt contracted…" She paused, and then added, "Before I eventually declare you a lost cause and set you on fire."

Smiling, I shook my head. "How 'bout I bathe before we go to bed and you do none of that?"

A thoughtful silence reigned for all of a few seconds before she conceded with a dramatic sigh. "I suppose that would be acceptable," she drawled, shifting in what I assumed was discomfort as she returned to the topic at hand. "As for Rumplestiltskin; he was… unusual."

That was one way to put it, I thought, mind wandering back to earlier that day.

"At my worst, I often wondered why people feared him more than they did me," she continued, laughing softly. "When he first began to teach me, I could see it. When he told me to take that unicorn's heart, that alone made me think he was evil, but after that? I honestly don't think I ever really considered him such."

I nodded and urged her on. She had told me the story, in a little more detail, after the night I learned of the curse and how she was meant to sacrifice her father for it to work. When I failed to express the kind of outrage she was used to, she finally began to understand that I wasn't the bright, shining beacon of goodness she first mistook me for and opening up to me came more easily to her.

"I feel as though I am betraying his memory by saying this, but Rumplestiltskin felt more like a father to me than my real father did."

Given the affection she often had in her voice whenever she spoke of her father, the confession surprised me and I jerked forward. She sat up slowly, head bowed as she brought her hands into her lap and stared at them while she spoke. "I realize he manipulated me for all of those years, but he was the only one who ever protected me from my mother."

Brow furrowed in confusion, I captured one of her hands and entwined our fingers as I questioned softly, "I thought you pushed her through a mirror and she was in a different world?"

Her head bobbed up and down. "I did, and she was, but that didn't stop her from trying to find a way back to me."

"What happened?"

"She succeeded… twice." Taking a deep breath, she straightened and sat back as I squeezed her hand, offering what little comfort I could. "The first time, she kidnapped my father in the hope I would bargain for his life in return for letting her back into my own. The second, she learned of a certain path Fate had in store for me and attempted to force it, which led to me cursing myself before Rumple intervened."

My frown deepened and I struggled, concerned about this curse I knew nothing about, and curious as to how he intervened. Ultimately, though, the decision made itself. I wanted to know about the Dark One, after all. "What did he do?" I asked, shelving the curse discussion for another time.

"He cursed her heart and shoved it back into her chest. He told her that if she ever removed it again, it would kill her." She smiled sadly and released an amused puff of air through her nose as she said, "She didn't believe him."

"Oh." Regina rarely spoke of her mother. I knew her father had died about a year before I arrived in the Enchanted Forest, but I'd always assumed her mother was still alive. "I'm—"

"Don't," she interrupted and my jaw snapped shut. It had been a stupid thought; to apologize, especially knowing everything that I did about the woman I'd never met. "She was an awful person who died too cleanly, and too quickly."

I could relate, in a sense.

I'd been in enough foster homes to know the good mothers from the bad and I had suffered enough abuse at the hands of so-called parents to share that perfectly reasonable, yet perhaps unforgivable, desire to want them dead. From the stories Regina told me, none of the families came close to just how fucked up Cora had been and so I did the only thing I could think to do; I agreed.

Short of a wary glance from the corner of her eye, Regina didn't respond and we were silent for a time, both lost in our thoughts. I wondered if I should wait to tell her about Rumple. I was still confused and hadn't a clue who I was supposed to trust, but after hearing everything she said, I knew one thing for certain; I had reason to trust the Dark One a hell of a lot more than I did Blue.

In the end, it was that thought that convinced me not to wait and I sighed. The sound drew her gaze to me and her forehead crinkled, lips parting ready to question. "I was late this morning because he visited me," I said before she could speak. "He said he was curious about me. Called me Blue's Savior, and told me to tell you he'd be dropping by."

"And why didn't you tell me this this morning?"

"Snow mostly," I replied, rolling a shoulder as I felt her hand tighten in mine. "Blue. You. Him. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, Regina. Up until Snow arrived, you believed Blue and I was just… going along with it, but now…"

"But now," she prompted and I sighed again.

"But now," I repeated. "I want to believe some freakish dude everyone calls the Dark One because everything that flies out of that damn fairy's mouth pings my bullshit radar."

When she didn't respond, I turned my head and caught the thoughtful look on her features. I don't know what I expected; anger, that I hadn't told her sooner. Maybe. Irritation, perhaps. At the very least, I thought there would be some level of surprise that Rumple wanted to see her, but then I supposed I was still learning about her and I knew next to nothing of him.

Thinking about it, I realized that it probably wasn't all that strange. From all that I'd learned, Rumple and Regina had a long and complicated history. Was it really that unusual for a teacher to express a desire to see his student, regardless of the years that passed or the history between them?

Of course, despite my doubts, I still remembered what everyone was expecting. If he was a danger to Regina, then I needed to keep that in mind whether she decided to humour him or not and that, really, was all that mattered. I was confused about a lot of things, but Regina's safety wasn't one of them.

Blue, Rumple—the Enchanted Forest and prophecies aside, the Queen remained my number one priority and I would die before I let any of them use her again.

Gaze lifting from where our hands were joined, I watched as Regina stood and turned, a smile on her lips. "Come," she beckoned with a gentle tug of my arm. "It's time to prepare for the Dark One."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Rumple. Fuck Blue.

Preparing for the Dark One, as it turned out, meant convincing Snow and Blue to leave. I was completely baffled and didn't understand her reasoning, but Regina insisted it was for the best and I certainly wasn't going to argue with her. I didn't want either of them there to begin with, and if she didn't want them there, then that was fine by me.

Snow was a lot harder to remove than the fairy. Blue had to return to her realm, as she had been absent for too long as it were. She offered no more than a warning for them to be careful before she waved her wand, vanishing into thin air. With her departure, came a small measure of relief but the moment Regina and I stepped foot inside the library where Snow was occupied entertaining Henry, I knew Regina had her work cut out for her.

It was my first taste of the self-righteous, spoiled, arrogant Princess the Queen spoke of, when she deigned to speak of the woman at all. I would never admit it within earshot of Regina herself, but I did find the two of them arguing to be more amusing than I thought it would be.

In the three days she was with us, I found Snow to be even more grating than the fairy. Unlike Blue, she didn't reek of falseness, quite the contrary. Everything she said seemed genuine, her emotions bared for all the world to see. I had no idea if it was for my benefit, or if that was simply who she was, but either way; it was annoying as hell.

The level of honesty always there in her tone, her expression—in every word she regurgitated; it just wasn't normal. People lied. Dishonesty was a way of survival, an instinct borne from necessity. With the stories Regina told of the time she exiled the Princess, I assumed there would be more and realized I was disappointed when there wasn't.

A survivor I could relate to but this, this woman—this _Queen_ was an abnormality too far-fetched to be anything more than an irritant I wished I could scratch from beneath my skin.

As their argument continued long into the night, I took the Prince by the hand and led him to the kitchens. He was tired and could barely keep his eyes open, but I had heard his stomach rumble a time or two and as the two Queens seemed to have forgotten the both of us in their battle of wills, I decided it wouldn't do to let the poor kid starve.

Dismissing the servants who tried to fuss over us with a glare and a growled demand to leave, I set about preparing us something to eat. Henry slumped across the counter and I remembered the times in which I had done the same, my eyes following the hypnotic sway of Regina's hips as she did for me what I was doing for him. I smiled at the memories, aware of the curious, half-lidded gaze that watched me work.

Taking what scraps remained from the previous night's dinner and turning them into something resembling a meal, I led Henry from the kitchens and up to his rooms, a platter in each hand. I knew Regina would come find us when she was done convincing Snow, or when she finally gave up trying and I sat with the Prince on his bed. We mirrored each other with our legs folded, feet bare and the food between us, both content in the quiet that surrounded us as we ate what we could.

By the time I was full, Henry had slumped forward, head hanging towards his lap and a piece of meat curled in his hand. I shook my head with a smile and climbed from the bed, plucking the food from his fingers before I guided him to his back and covered him. I moved the leftovers to the table beside the door and settled in the chair in the corner of the room, not wanting to leave him just yet.

As I watched the rise and fall of his chest in the dim light of the sconce above his bed, my smile grew. I knew I loved him in a round-a-bout way. To me, he was an extension of Regina and it was difficult not to love him, but I knew then as I stared that it was more than that. If I were ever to consider a child of my own, a son or daughter half the person the Prince was would be a blessing.

He was an awesome kid, and I was lucky to be a part of his life. It was yet another reason for me to love Regina more, as impossible as I thought that idea was. I already loved her with every fiber of my being, but it seemed I had even more to give, and I gave it willingly as I began to feel a weariness of my own and yawned, slumping further in my seat.

Whether minutes or hours passed from that last thought to the next, I grasped the hilt of my sword as it materialized in my hand and calmly stood to face the noise that pulled me from sleep. I crossed the room and leveled my arm as the door swung open, eyes narrowing in tandem with the widening of shocked green.

Snow froze at the sharp prick of steel against flesh and I tilted my head, following the dark, wet trail that emerged from the tip of my sword as she swallowed. It would serve her right, I thought at the time. One little nudge, and I could end this farce of a woman claiming to be something she wasn't. One less thing to worry about in the coming days.

Sounds from other parts of the castle stirred me from my inner musings and my arm flicked back to my side, back straightening as I clenched and unclenched my jaw. It appeared to have been hours, after all. "What do you want?"

"Reg—" My nostrils flared and she hastily corrected herself, "Her Majesty said you were here and I… I…"

"Spit it out," I growled, feeling my fingers itch to bring the sword back to her throat merely to end her useless stammering.

"I wanted to say goodbye," she said, pain flashing across her face as her eyes dropped to the floor. "I know you will not miss me. I know nothing has changed and I am…" She breathed in deeply and lifted her chin. "I have agreed to leave, to give you and Regina some time before I return. I just wanted you to know, before I go, that I am so… happy, to have met you, despite things between us not being quite as… delusional, as I had hoped."

My stomach churned with something—not quite guilt, but _something_ close—and against my better judgment, I felt myself smile faintly. Delusional was one word, and far more tame than any I'd have used, to describe the woman. "You're coming back, then?"

She nodded. "Things may never be the way I want between us—all of us, but that doesn't mean I don't wish to try."

 _Us_ ; the word echoed in my mind. I wanted to believe she meant the three of us; her, me and Charming, who I had yet to meet. I knew she didn't though. I knew she meant Regina, and I knew, even though I would have denied it at the time, that she had found my weakness far sooner than I would have given her credit.

Swallowing thickly, I inclined my head. "If my Queen welcomes your return, then so do I." _Gods_ that hurt. "Until next time, Your Majesty."

"Take care of yourself, Emma," she said, smiling as she stepped back.

I snorted. "Always have," I replied, closing the door before I could watch her smile fall, replaced with yet another look of hurt. She may have found my weakness, but I'd known hers all along.

* * *

Henry and I met the Queen for breakfast, a beaming smile welcoming our entrance in to the dining hall as the Prince wandered to her side and kissed her cheek. I was somewhat less bold, but her narrowed gaze warned me about daring to sit before I greeted her, and I grinned as our lips met before falling into the chair on her left.

Despite her visit, I was a little surprised Snow wasn't there. I knew she was leaving, but I hadn't thought she'd meant before she'd had a chance to eat. Regina was many things, but a bad host wasn't one of them and although I didn't ask, I couldn't deny that part of me wanted to; more out of curiosity than actual concern the woman might starve on the journey home.

If what Regina told me about her disturbing obsession with animals was true, birds probably brought her snacks to tide her over anyway.

"Sleep well?"

Blinking the thoughts away as the servants bustled around us, I turned to Regina and frowned. The question had been simple enough, but the look of irritation she wore was anything but. "Not really," I confessed, hoping to placate her with my growing discomfort. I'd noticed the twinge in my back as I was waking Henry, and had already cursed myself for falling asleep in the chair.

"I tried to wake you," she replied, dismissing the servants when they asked if she required anything more. I lifted an eyebrow, wondering if I'd said something stupid to her. "You said, and I quote, _Woman, did you forget what I did to Graham?_ And then promptly fell back to sleep."

I bit my lip. I wouldn't in a million years so much as dream of punching her in the face but—that did sound a lot like something I might have said, and since I didn't remember it, chances were I wasn't actually awake at all. "Sorry?"

"I contemplated animating the chair and having it throw you on the floor," she commented, smirking. "Of course, you then had to ruin my mood and sleepily declare your love for me before I had my revenge."

"I am a terrible person," I agreed, hiding my grin as I reached for the goblet beside my plate and lifted it to my mouth. The glare she gave me was suitably adorable before Henry distracted us both, seemingly having had enough time to wake fully as he began rambling about his lessons.

* * *

With Snow and Blue gone, things went back to normal; mostly. Regina and I were a little on edge, waiting for when the Dark One would appear again, but aside from that, I continued to look after Henry during the day while Regina was off doing her Queenly duties. We still met in the garden each night, learning as much as we could. I often wondered if we would ever run out of things to talk about, as it didn't seem like something that would happen any time soon. Regina had quite the past and always seemed to have something new to share with me.

Rarely did we speak about me. I knew it wasn't fair, but if I tried to bring it up, she always shut me down before I could begin to feel any guilt about it. She said she understood, and even if she didn't, I had no choice but to believe her. Guilt wouldn't get me to talk about my past, no matter how much I might have wanted it to. I don't really know why it bothered me, only that I knew more about her than I ever thought I would, while at the same time she knew next to nothing about my years before she rescued me that day in the forest.

Rumple appeared three days later.

We were seated by the fire in the Queen's outer chamber, winding down for the day. Our earlier talk in the garden consisted of stories about Snow White, and the years Regina spent trying—and failing, horribly—to kill her. I loathed talking about the woman, but I recognized the stories for what they were. For all the rumours circulating about the Queens feud, people were glaringly oblivious to the simple facts of the matter; if Regina had ever truly wanted to kill Snow White, it would have been as simple as the flick of her wrist.

I had known for a long time by then, but Regina was not the woman everyone thought her to be and the smile I wore as she told her stories remained, gaze firmly fixed to the woman sat across from me as I caught the telling glimmer of black, scentless magic from the corner of my eye.

"Rumple," Regina spoke first, smoothly rising from her chair as though she'd been expecting him all along.

For all I knew, she had.

"Regina," the Dark One replied, mouth curled at the corners as I turned to him and he turned to me. "Emma, lovely to see you again."

My nails were at my neck before I even realized what I was doing and I scratched, nervous, as I inclined my head. "I'll see where this leads before I offer judgment."

He grinned. "Wise," he commented, moving to the chair closest to him and taking a seat as his attention settled back on Regina. "The years have treated you well, I see. It has been years, hasn't it? I was stuck in that cell for so long, it seems I've lost track of time."

"Nine," Regina murmured, handing them each a glass of cider before she sat next to me. I frowned, looking back and forth between them. I knew their relationship wasn't as simple as I'd previously been led to believe, but hearing them talk as if they were merely friends who hadn't seen each other for a while was… well—weird, to say the least.

"Nine," he repeated, twisting the glass in his hand. His eyes returned to me, head tilted. "Earlier than I wagered, but then these things rarely work out the way one might hope."

Brow raised, the words were out before I could stop them. "Are you going to keep dropping not so subtle hints, or did you plan to eventually tell us why you're here?"

His eyes widened briefly, and then he was all teeth, his grin from ear to ear. "You both know why I'm here," he said, wagging his finger with a giggle as I opened my mouth to demand an explanation. "But I suppose you want more. They always want more, never content with what they have or what they kn—"

I sighed, loud and impatient. I was tired and not in the mood for more ramblings. After Blue, I was beyond done dealing with listening to cryptic bullshit and just wanted a straight answer for once.

He looked at me. I mean _really_ looked, and I began to feel the discomfort weighing down on me, surprised when I didn't burst into flame before his eyes darted off to the corner of the room. I followed, but saw nothing, and barely resisted covering my surprise when he spoke.

"The curse," he began and waved his hand, dismissing both of us as we made to speak. I tried anyway, only to realize he stole my voice and I knew he'd done the same to her when I glanced to Regina, her expression furious. "I have made a few…" He paused, searching. "Alterations. I think you'll both be quite pleased with them."

Silence stretched between us, neither Regina nor I able to offer a response even if we'd wanted to. He studied us both and as I took in my Queen, I wondered if our thoughts were anywhere close to similar. We were both curious, that much was obvious, but was she open to the idea as I was? I didn't know much about the curse beyond the fact it took ones memories and would dump us all back in that world but—if we could be together; no war, no magic, no—no. I doubted she felt the same.

I cleared my throat and he wiggled his fingers, a tickling sensation crawling along my mouth as I licked my lips. "What alterations?" I asked, ignoring the look of surprise in chestnut eyes as Regina snapped around to stare at me.

"The heart," he answered, a familiar glint in his eyes. I closed my own, breathing in deeply, hoping it wouldn't be the heart I thought, and I felt myself smile at his next words. "A certain fairy heart, to be precise."


	27. Chapter 27

"You can't."

Rumple had gone, planted his seed and left before anyone thought to stop him. I entered our bed chamber, smiling as Regina's protests rang in my ears. Her words hadn't changed in the half an hour since he'd left. I wasn't going to argue with her, though I knew she wanted me to. She was adamant, intent on believing there was some form of good inside of me that wouldn't dare consider going along with Rumplestiltskin and his insane—her words, not mine—idea.

Truthfully, I liked his plan a lot more than I would have considered voicing aloud. I felt as though I was still missing a lot of the pieces, but if it meant Regina being alive and I didn't have to deal with the whole Savior crap, then I was game. It felt like I had a choice and between the only two I had to consider, the Dark One's was far more appealing when it came down to it.

As I discarded my shirt, Regina grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. I hadn't dared look at her since he gave me back my voice and I took a moment to take in her expression. There wasn't a trace of the disappointment I expected and instead, all I found was the weary understanding crafted in someone too accustomed to having her choices stolen from her.

I sighed and captured her waist, fingers curling over hips as I tugged her forward and wrapped my arms around her. She melted against me, her head finding a home in the crook of my shoulder as she buried her face into my neck. "You can't seriously be considering this."

Her body stiffened as I tried and failed to stifle a laugh. "No consideration required," I confessed, smile faint as her head jerked up and she stared at me. "I told you; your safety is all I care about. At least if I help him, you won't be in danger."

"You idiot. I am always in danger," she argued. "I don't know what ridiculous notion you've cooked up that has allowed you to forget, but I am the _Evil Queen_ , Emma. I have enemies. I will always have enemies and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that."

"Except this." Pulling away, I sat down on the bed and began unlacing my boots as I spoke, avoiding her gaze. "As much as I despise that world, I _know_ it. None of these people would last a week there without help, help that only _I_ can give them. There, happy endings and true love are just fairy tales. Dark and light? Nothing more than concepts—an endless world of gray where no one is any more evil or good than any other."

Murder was murder and no one was labelled _evil_ because they committed a crime, especially one people felt was _warranted_. In that world, Cora would have been sentenced for killing an innocent child, and Regina would have been praised, told she was a role model to younger women when she finally snapped and killed her abusive, rapist of a husband after years upon years of mental, emotional and physical abuse from those who claimed to love her.

Snow White would've been labelled as possibly delusional and potentially dangerous to herself before being thrown into a mental institution. The kind of blind ignorance she must have possessed to completely ignore what sort of person her father really was, to condemn Regina for what she had done—the woman was nothing short of crazy.

I shook my head and lifted my gaze, our eyes meeting as I asked, "Don't you want a chance to start again? To just… be who you've always wanted to be and not worry about everything else?"

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed, dropping down next to me. "I do," she confessed softly. "But I also know what this could do to you, do you understand that? You are the one that will have to do this, Emma. Do you have any idea what it's like to take someone else's life?"

"Yes." She inhaled sharply and my smile was a little sadder as those dark eyes fell on me. I knew it wouldn't last forever. One day, whether it was tomorrow or years from now, she would eventually know everything there was to know about all the lives I'd lived. "I was fifteen at the time…"

And so, that night, the Queen learned of the first and only time I had taken someone's life, and the afternoon when I discovered I wasn't the helpless, teenage girl I'd thought I was.

* * *

Regina paced the garden, hands fisted at her sides, muttering threats and curses beneath her breath. I grinned, enjoying the sight as I followed the back and forth, torn between watching the way she moved and the numerous expressions of anger that fluttered beautifully across her face. Furious, my Queen was a gorgeous sight to behold, the skirts of her dress flying this way and that.

After the first story, talking about my past was starting to get easier. Killing that girl all those years ago had, by far, been the most painful memory I held on to. I still had a lot of guilt to sift through in terms of her death, as justified as Regina tried to assure me I'd been at the time. Justified or not, killing was not meant to be something easy. If it were, I was certain more people would be doing it.

I mean really, how simple would life be if you could just ram your car into that douchebag talking on his phone while driving? Or grabbing that old lady in the checkout line by the head and just—snapping her neck because she won't _shut the fuck up_ and let the girl behind the counter get on with her job.

One probably seemed more justified than the other, but regardless, people didn't do that because—aside from the whole crime aspect—mostly, we all had a conscience to deal with and that thing did not exist to make our lives easier.

Regina had been sad when I finished and I had been tired, so we agreed to end the night and had fallen asleep in each others arms. She'd done nothing to make me think I had to share anything more, and I suppose it was that that had me telling her all about my adventures running from people who wanted me as a science experiment.

She was livid by the time I was done recalling the last night I spent in that world. I, on the other hand, felt nothing but love at the declarations that fell from her mouth. I had no doubt she had every intention of following them through, from the highly vivid descriptions of torture to the gruesome end involving their eviscerated corpses and a good dose of fire.

It was a rather macabre testimony to her love for me, but it would have proven her insistence that I was an idiot if I'd expected anything less from the supposed Evil Queen. I adored her, and macabre or not, my chest expanded with warmth amid every venomous word she spat.

No one had ever cared about me, especially not to the extent of wanting to commit murder in my name. It made me realize that I was thinking of doing the exact same thing, which in turn had me marveling at how alike we were. Part of me thought I should probably be worried about that, but another part of me—well, no one ever claimed love was sensible and for her? I was the most senseless person, alive or dead, in this world or any other.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she snapped and I blinked desperately in an attempt to banish the thoughts. It hadn't occurred to me to look elsewhere before I allowed my mind to wander and I replied with the first words that came to me.

"I love you."

What anger remained drained out of her in an instant and even beneath the pale light of the moon, I spied the colour that darkened her cheeks as she moved closer. I grinned up at her, hand outstretched as I waited patiently for her to accept and climb into my lap, as I knew she yearned to do by the look of affection so plain in her eyes.

Her hand seized mine in a grip like death, as though she was afraid I would rescind the offer before she could accept and I gently tugged, guiding her down to where her dress stretched across my thighs as her knees settled on either side of my body.

"I rant like a madwoman and your first thought is to tell me you love me," she murmured, a statement of disbelief rather than a question. I nodded anyway, our faces mere inches apart as I watched her smile grow wider with each passing second.

No more words were needed as she pressed her lips to mine and I hummed, sinking into the kiss without a care in the world. She tasted of cherries and wine, her body an invigorating reminder of the first caress of sunshine after a harsh winter as I embraced her and tried to pull us closer. She chuckled against my mouth, fingers finding their way into my hair as we lost ourselves in each other for a few, glorious minutes.

When we parted, I barely had time to take a breath before she trailed kisses along my jaw and my head smacked against the bench. What pain should have flared in response to the carelessness of my actions was absent, mind dizzy as teeth nibbled the flesh of my neck and stole what little concentration I may have mustered to raise my hand and check for damage.

At the very least, I would have a bruise there the next day, but I didn't care. With the Queen paying such tender tribute to my skin, it was all I could think about as my hands gained minds of their own and began to wander, stroking and squeezing warm, supple curves as my fingers itched to tear the dress from her body.

She shifted and her throat vibrated with a moan, somehow finding a friction I lacked. I tilted my head, stretching my neck further as she sucked my pulse into her mouth and I slipped a hand beneath heavy skirts, searching for the heat I knew would be waiting for me.

I growled as my fingers met the thin, wet cloth of her undergarments and barely registered her gasp as I ripped the material out of my way. Had I known she was as aroused as she was, I would have insisted on skipping our talk and spent the night doing far more pleasurable things to her than reminiscing on my life without her.

Still, she was practically dripping and I couldn't help being surprised by the fact given what we'd been doing for the past hour. "You're soaked," I murmured, curious as I lifted my head.

Her cheeks darkened and she released an intense breath as my fingers glided through her folds, hips slowly beginning to pick up a rhythm as she rocked against my hand. "I," she tried to speak, but the words seemed to stick in the back of her throat and she clasped my neck instead, pulling me into another kiss that had my mind blanking.

Distraction or a bid for time, I welcomed her lips and pushed inside of her, relishing her moan and the way her nails bored into my skin. My body responded to every little sound that passed between us and a shudder rippled through me as the tight, hot walls of her pussy clamped down on my fingers.

Not only was she wet, but she was so inexplicably ready to come that I had to tear my mouth from hers to stare at her in wonder. In all honesty, it never took much to get her to the edge, but it never happened _that_ quickly—not that I was about to complain, but _Jesus_. "Are you…?"

Teeth sank into her lower lip but the subtle nod of her head sent a pulse of heat straight between my legs and with a groan, I kissed her again. The sudden craving I had to taste her was no more than a passing thought as she forced her tongue into my mouth and I felt her slicken further, coating my hand in her desire as she rocked back and forth.

She had barely touched me, but no sooner than she stiffened against me did the low, thrumming pressure in the pit of my stomach begin to spread. My release came swift, the briefest caress of knuckles against my cheek as my body locked up, surprise and pleasure surging through me in equal measure.

The realization was slow but there as time crawled by and as the shock wore off, I opened my eyes, unsure when I'd even closed them. Laughter bubbled in my chest at the self-satisfied grin she wore, and I rolled my eyes and said, "I can't believe you used magic on me."

Her lower lip protruded in a pout and she replied, "I wanted to share."

" _My_ hard work," I teased with a grin.

Brow raised, she snorted. " _What_ hard work?"

My grin widened. "Touché," I said, not entirely certain when I'd gained such clarity but confident in the assumption when I leaned our heads together and added, "Though I _am_ responsible for the anger that got you in the mood to begin with."

Outrage, denial, _defiance_ ; all three emotions flickered within her gaze before she eventually settled on weary acceptance and repeated, "Touché," kissing me once more.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't think the magic dick requires a warning, but whatever. It's barely there. Skip the last three paragraphs of the second scene if you're really that averse to them.

Wearing Regina down was hard work. I should have known she wouldn't cave without a fight. Her optimism that there could be another way, one that didn't involve killing _anyone_ was somewhat confusing, and entirely out of left field. For someone as realistic as I was, I thought _I_ was the one more likely to blindly insist there was another way. Why she bothered trying to pretend she was this Evil Queen everyone painted her as, I had no idea. I was beginning to think it'd be easier if she actually _was_ that woman, instead I was bound to a woman who appeared to see-saw on the scale of morality, thoroughly dependent on the mood she was in at the time.

Maddening, was what it was.

For something that seemed simple and would, for the most part, solve our problems, she was making it entirely too difficult. It was close to a week since the Dark One's visit, and I was at my wits end. All she had to do was agree, but no, she wanted to examine every angle and go through an inordinate amount of texts before she made a decision.

I wouldn't have even minded, were she not the Queen and actually had the time to do the things she wanted. It seemed as though she was going to be interrupted every half an hour for one inane reason or another. I would have sworn I'd walked in on her too many times to count, reading the exact same book every single time. I was half-tempted to see if I could learn elfish and whatever other ancient language written in those books, just to see if I could before she finished that _one_.

"I didn't learn to read until I was twelve," I said, fingers trailing along the spines of books as I walked down the numerous aisles filled from floor to ceiling.

We skipped the garden in favour of the library; my one condition before I had agreed to this insanity. If she wanted to read, she needed all the time she had but I wasn't going to give up our routine to let her pointlessly brood over dusty books. The interruptions throughout the day were frequent, but no one ever came to her with anything of _substance_ and for the time being, our talks were all I had to offer.

"Some children don't learn at all," she replied as I rounded a shelf, returning to the middle of the room where she sat, surrounded by a mountainous pile of books, some on the table but most stacked around her on the floor. "Literacy isn't much of priority beyond the nobles, and generally they only learn out of boredom or because their families force them to."

"In comparison to other kids, I was a late bloomer," I explained. "Most start to learn when they're really young—three or four—and their parents read to them but, of course, I was a foster kid with really shitty parents whenever I was unfortunate enough to have them at all."

Regina glanced at me over her book, turning a page and sniffing as she questioned, "You never went to… school, was it?"

I rocked my hand back and forth. "On and off until I was fifteen. I learned to fake my way through it, mostly. I learned because I got tired of feeling as though I was stupid. Any time someone found out I couldn't read, I got laughed at and you can only punch so many people in the face, y'know?"

Her mouth quirked with a smile. "Not really, no," she responded dryly. "According to my mother, a lady doesn't use her fists to solve her problems."

"Well," I began, slipping into the chair across from her. "I didn't know I had magic at the time, so casually setting them on fire wasn't really an option."

She snorted. "No, I suppose not," she conceded and closed her book with a sigh. I was about to ask if she was done for the day, but stopped as she reached for another and slid it across the table. "Read this."

Frowning, I flipped it open and immediately my head snapped up. "There's a guide for how to remove someone's heart?"

Her eyes practically rolled into the back of her head. I would've been offended if not for the smile she still wore. "It is part of a grimoire, specifically _my_ grimoire," she corrected, sounding far more patient than her expression would have led one to believe. "It details the many ways one might remove a heart, and all the things one can to do once in possession of said heart."

"In other words; yes," I grinned, looking back down as she sighed and shook her head. Call it a death wish, but I loved to rile her up and I didn't think it would ever grow old.

I did as told and began to read, soon finding myself engrossed within the pages. It was amazing what one could do with a heart and I started to remember the books I used to read about the occult, which ended up bringing all sorts of questions to mind; like why I hadn't thought about it before. Dark magic was sort of like occult magic; sacrifice and curses—prices, whereas light magic would be something along the lines of miracles; healing, sudden and unexplainable good luck etcetera.

Having another person's heart wasn't unlike having a fully functional voodoo doll, only without the hair and creepy eyes, and possibly more blood on your hands.

At the comparison, my curiosity was piqued and I straightened in my chair, looking up for the first time in—I had no idea how long. I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping against hope I wasn't about to ask something entirely ridiculous. "Regina?"

She hummed, eyes never once leaving her own book and I took a breath before asking, "Are druids and shamans real?" Her brow lifted, which I figured meant she had no idea what I was talking about and forged ahead. "People who specialize in nature based magic and communing with spirits—that sort of thing."

Her brow furrowed as her gaze rose to meet mine. "Not, I don't think, in the way that you mean. Those of us with magic are more gifted in certain areas, but we are still referred to in the same way; we being what most call sorceresses—or witches, though many find the term somewhat insulting given the history surrounding magic users."

Satisfied with the answer, I nodded and returned to the book, only to glance up again as she let out another sigh and questioned, "Might I enquire as to why you wished to know such a thing?"

"Just curious," I replied with a shrug and lopsided grin. "Some people believe there is magic in that other world and—I dunno, maybe it's not impossible."

"Is this another attempt to convince me to your way of thinking?" I frowned, trying to follow her line of thought before she added, "If so, you're wasting your time. I never wanted magic to begin with, whether it exists in that realm or not has no bearing on my desire to go through with this plan."

Understanding where she was coming from, I shook my head. "I really was just curious," I said but my frown deepened as I glanced between her and the book. "But if you're not already to my way of thinking, then why'd you give me this? Why else would I need to learn how to remove a heart?"

"Perhaps I simply thought to turn you away from the idea by letting you know what the process entails." At my blank look, she sighed again and her shoulders lifted in a shrug as she rose, closing her book. "I believe the time has come for me to stop letting my fears hinder you. I will not, however, allow that man the opportunity to corrupt and manipulate you the same way he did me, and so I will be the one to teach you."

With the sweep of her arm, all but the grimoire in front me vanished and the sounds of the books sliding back into their shelves filled the room. "We will begin tomorrow," she said, summoning the book out from beneath my hand and curling it beneath her arm as she turned toward the exit.

* * *

The next morning I awoke alone and as I stretched, I smiled as my hand found the spot beside me still warm. A muffled curse pulled my attention to the adjacent chamber and I quickly stumbled from the bed, a string of curses following the first as I stepped into the bathing room.

At the sight of the Queen sitting beside the tub, cradling her foot in hand, I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. Her head jerked up at the snort that escaped despite my best efforts, and she scowled as I raised my hands in surrender. As I moved closer, I noted her eyes darkening and it took me a moment to realize I hadn't the thought to dress before I came to investigate what was wrong.

Her voice was telling, husky and deep as she spoke. "I stubbed my toe," she said, pouting at my smile as I kneeled before her. I leaned in and kissed her, placing my hand over her foot and rubbing the mound with the pad of my thumb as she deepened the kiss.

"Maybe skip the pointy boots today," I murmured, smile firmly in place as we broke apart. She hummed and I stood, extending my hand as I helped her to her feet.

Draping her arms across my shoulders, she pressed up against me and I shuddered at the coarse feel of her dress against my naked chest. "And maybe you should get dressed before I forget all about today," she purred, the sting of her teeth sinking into my lower lip and forcing a whimper from the back of my throat.

"Perhaps you'd be so kind as to tell me how I might do that in our current position," I grinned as our lips brushed. She smirked, running her hands down along my arms and threading them about my waist as she palmed the cheeks of my ass.

"I'm certain you'll think of something," she husked before hungrily claiming my mouth. I groaned as my stomach flooded with arousal and hurriedly guided her back against the wall, yanking the skirts of her dress up enough to shove my hand underneath.

She chuckled throatily and without warning, we switched, my hands behind my back as she trapped me against the wall with her body. "I happen to be ready for the day and _you—_ " she punctuated the word with a nip of teeth. "—have ruined enough of my clothes, my dear."

I grinned, remembering our night in the garden a week earlier. "Tsk," she admonished, swatting my stomach with the back of her hand before she dropped to her knees.

My grin fell and my breathing quickened, throat drying at the sight.

There was something about a Queen, this one in particular, falling to her knees that had mine weak in a matter of seconds. I pushed back against the wall harder in the hope it would keep me upright and she smirked, lips parting as she leaned in.

Regina breathed deeply, releasing the breath in a slow, warm exhale between my legs that had my body tingling from head to toe. My hips rolled in search of more, thighs quivering as she gripped them tight within her hands. She kneaded and stroked the inner flesh of my thighs, tongue teasingly gliding across her lips as she stared up at me, eyes dark with promise.

I moaned, reaching down to palm her cheek, nipples hardening purely from the anticipation of having that talented little muscle inside me. She closed her eyes and smiled as my thumb stroked her cheek, inching closer and closer until I could feel every breathe she took. Every bone in my body screamed at me to bury her face between my thighs; to put an end to the slow, sweet torture she was putting it through and it was taking a strength of almost Herculean proportions to resist.

Just as I felt my restraint slipping, fingers pressing into the side of her neck, her tongue slithered through my folds and my head fell back against the wall with a soft thunk. Heat surged through every muscle, seemingly lighting every one of my nerve endings on fire, and as a fog slowly began to cloud my thoughts, teeth joined the fray.

She nibbled my folds, licking and sucking the wetness that continued to seep from inside of me. My knees weakened further, hands slapping against the cold stone walls as I clawed into them. She chuckled and I felt myself gush, heart pounding furiously in my chest as I squirmed against her mouth.

Pleasure, foreign but _oh so familiar_ , threatened to overwhelm me. She could make me see stars at the best of times, but this was so much more and I couldn't stop myself from crying out as lips, teeth and tongue turned their assault onto my clit. The bundle of nerves throbbed at the attention, stiffening, thickening—somehow feeling _longer_.

I gasped, the sound catching in my throat as my eyes flew open and my head snapped down. Regina pulled back, grinning madly and licking her lips as she too stared at the cock suddenly sprouting from between my legs. Words—words escaped me. We had used toys, so many toys, but this was a whole new thing entirely and… dear gods, it was _huge_.

"I believe I am going to thoroughly enjoy this particular spell," Regina purred, not allowing me the time to respond before she wrapped her lips around the shaft and thought left me completely.

* * *

I was giddy. There was no other word to describe it, and everyone noticed. I couldn't help it. Ever since Regina and I left the Queen's chambers, I wore what had to be the biggest grin in the world and even the usual swagger in my step was pronounced. When Regina commented on it and expressed a certain liking for it before we parted, I embraced the change.

By the afternoon, it seemed as though everyone was whispering about me and I could not have cared less. I guided Henry through his lessons, as I did every day. I watched him beat Red, two out of three, and then three out of five in an impromptu archery contest before leading him to the stables where Regina joined us for our riding lesson.

When Henry left for the library with his history tutor and a few guards, I accompanied Regina back to the castle. She led me to the war room, a hand nestled in the small of my back, murmuring instruction along the way. My mind wandered, not really paying attention; how could I, after that morning?

Being inside of her—feeling her all around me. Don't get me wrong, I had an extremely healthy appreciation of sex—sex with the Queen, especially—but I was beginning to understand the fascination men had and why, sometimes, it was as though it was all they ever thought about it.

Eventually, Regina noticed and, naturally, she didn't appreciate being ignored. She snapped, but my grin remained and her eyes narrowed. No doubt she was ready to bite my head off; an experience I was grateful to be saved from with the arrival of the Knight-Commander, confused as I was by his unexpected appearance.

"Graham," Regina greeted him with little more than a growl of her voice. I had a feeling she was struggling not to throw him back outside so she could question me, but thankfully managed to resist.

I really did not want to explain myself.

"You know why I asked you here," she continued, gesturing for him to come closer. "I apologise in advance for any suffering this bumbling idiot of mine may cause, but a live experiment is always preferable and you've more experience than most."

He inclined his head, his grin lopsided as he came to stand before us. It dawned on me, surprisingly fast, why he was there and my stomach churned uncomfortably. "No way," I protested. The day I put my hand in his chest, would be the day I… "Wait, you have your heart?"

"For quite some time now," he replied, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Thanks to you, I believe."

"Me?" I frowned, eyes darting between the two of them. "What did I do?"

"That hardly matters now," Regina interrupted his response and his mouth snapped shut. Oh, she had trained him well. "What matters is that you need to practice, and Graham is more than capable of dealing with the repercussions of temporarily being without his heart. More importantly, I trust him and believe this entire ordeal will remain between the three of us, isn't that right?"

Graham nodded. "Of course, your Majesty."

"Splendid," she drawled, turning back to me. "I trust you remember what I've taught you so far?"

I blinked. I remembered, but did she really expect me to try and take his heart? There were a number of people whose hearts I would gladly rip out, but his would never be one of them. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend, for shit sakes. "You couldn't have brought me someone like Killian? I mean sure, I'd be a little worried about the slime rubbing off on me but… Graham? Really, Regina?"

Her eyebrow rose and he chuckled. She looked back at him. "How many times have I removed your heart?"

He sobered immediately and seemed to consider the question a moment before he replied, "Three, I believe, your Majesty."

"And the last time?"

There was no hesitation in his next response. "Two months ago; when I implied she should hide the letter from Snow White, from you."

Anger contorted my expression. "What the hell? He was looking out for me, Regina!"

She rolled her eyes with a wave of her hand. "That is neither here nor there. The point is; he knows what to expect and, unlike Killian or whoever else you happen to despise, I trust him not to start any rumours surrounding what we are doing here. If, however, you've changed your mind about this ridiculous plan, I'll be more than happy to send him away."

And there it was. I scowled. Of course she was still trying to dissuade me from casting the curse, I should have known the second I realized his reason for being there. "You are so full of shit," I muttered, ignoring the sly grin of dark lips as I placed a hand against his chest.

Letting my anger at Regina grow, I concentrated on summoning my magic to the surface. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was surprised that it worked after no more than a minute had passed. Short of the time I'd thrown Blue against the wall, I'd never tried calling it forth with negative emotions before and as it spread through me, I visualized my hand sinking beneath flesh and bone.

I gasped as my fingers brushed against something soft. Soft and wet, and _warm_. He was bright, full of affection and love—brotherly love. Our eyes met and when his drifted to Regina, I could feel the immeasurable fondness he had for her as my hand curled fully around his heart. His devotion to her was unquestionable.

"Wow," I breathed, mirroring his smile. I had never before felt so connected to someone. "You really love her."

His smile softened and Regina cleared her throat, my cheeks heating with a blush as I turned to stare at her. "You need to take it out," she said, refusing to meet either of our gazes.

"Right," I stated, shaking my head. It was hard to concentrate with his pulse beating against my palm. "Will it hurt?"

"Not if you don't want it to," she murmured softly, leading me to wonder whether she had at one time or another. I sighed and shook the thought from my head, willing myself to focus.


	29. Chapter 29

Removing a heart was as simple as extracting my hand, or so said the Queen's grimoire. I shuddered at the vivid imagery in my head. I could feel the hair on my arm standing at attention as I pictured my fist emerging from his chest, flesh knitting back together. I wasn't one for vomiting, but I was seriously reconsidering my thoughts on that.

Hand finally free, I stared down at the heart in awe. For a loyal servant of the renowned Evil Queen, it was surprisingly red—very nearly pure, if not for the deep, dark line stretching through the center.

Smirking, I glanced up. "Are you secretly Snow White or…"

There came a giggle from behind me and I spun to face the sound, almost laughing out loud myself when I realized it came from the alleged _dark one_. I was beginning to think the gold spinning, baby napping midget from the fairy tale was the more evil of the two after all.

"The darkness stems from grief, Miss Swan, not evil deeds."

"I did not know that," I admitted truthfully, mildly surprised by the information

"Evidently," he replied, smiling as he crossed the room. He plucked the heart from my hand and pressed a finger to my lips as I made to protest.

My mouth fell open as he shoved it back into Graham's chest. "I believe the former Captain has the mechanics of heart snatching well in hand," he said to the man bowed at the waist, gasping for breath. "Be a good lad and see yourself out."

Watching Graham leave, my own heart squeezed in sympathy and I rubbed my chest. I wanted to go after him, to make sure he was alright but I knew with a single look to the Queen's stony expression that I wouldn't get within a foot of the door before I found myself frozen; either with magic, or a very real, very firm grip on my throat.

I quickly averted my gaze and turned to Rumple. "You couldn't have done that with a little more… finesse?"

"Finesse," he repeated, sounding as if he'd swallowed something bitter. "Why would I possibly want to do that?"

I shrugged. "We have a saying where I'm from; you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "If flies is what you're after, you're better off using shit."

I laughed, hearing the Queen's sigh as she moved to the large, round table in the center of the room and sat down. I knew I needed to be careful, but there was no denying that he was growing on me and as he joined her, I circled around to her chair, feeling the tension ease from her shoulders as I laid my hands on them in silent support.

"What is it you want this time, Rumple?" she questioned, tone bored as though she'd already dismissed him. "No, wait. Let me guess; there is another you're too cowardly to deal with yourself, so you thought you'd come to request the Princess' aid once more."

"Your Majesty," he mock gasped, bringing a hand to his chest. "You wound me. Can I not simply drop by for a friendly visit? You are, naturally, such gracious company these days."

Hiding my smile behind pursed lips, I squeezed her shoulders and gently began to massage the sudden stiffness from them. I wouldn't say I was particularly fond of the new nickname but, given the circumstances, I let it slide for the time being. Regina was already in a bad mood and even if I couldn't see her face, I was more than familiar with the glare she'd likely leveled against him as her irritation thickened the air above our heads.

He sighed, forlorn but yielding after a brief silence. "I have concocted something to assist in the capture of our delightful little acquaintance, and thought the two of you might be interested. Was I wrong?"

"No," I answered before she had the chance.

It was obvious by the set of her shoulders that she was about to, in an entirely more pleasant term certainly, tell him to shove his concoction up his ass. In general, I would've been in favour of such a thing, but given our own plan consisted of a week's worth of reading and a brief, yet enlightening lesson in heart taking, I needed all the help I could get.

"What is it?"

"A potion," he said and clapped his hands together, a small, glass bottle appearing before Regina in a cloud of black. "You will, of course, need to figure out a way to get her to drink it but… that shouldn't be too difficult for the charge of the fairy godmother."

With another giggle, his chair was empty and my brow furrowed in confusion as Regina released another sigh. "Who—"

"Henry," she interrupted, shrugging off my hands as she stood. "I knew I should never have agreed to that. This is going to devastate him."

Probably why she did it, I thought, scowling inwardly at the idea that Blue might use a child in some sort of scheme to save her own hide. Not just any child, either. If she was—if she _dared_ touch a single hair on the Prince's head, I was going to make damn certain she suffered as much pain as possible when I took her heart.

Assuming she has one, my mind helpfully tacked on. I growled low in my throat, feeling my lip curl as the thought occurred to me. What if she didn't? What if she drank the potion, I reached into her chest and… nothing? What was I supposed to do then?

I closed my eyes, shaking my head as the panic rose in my chest. What if we had a plan—one that worked, and it backfired because somewhere along the line, the fairy—the supposedly _good_ fairy had removed her own heart and hidden it somewhere? How would we find it? Would we even try? How long would it take?

The sound of the slap came before the sting and I blinked back tears, eyes wide in surprise. Regina swatted my hand away as I raised it toward my face, the warmth of her own palm sliding against heated flesh as she cupped my cheek and searched my gaze.

"Are you alright?" I could feel my eyebrows virtually disappearing into my hairline and she rolled her eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I called your name four times, you were unresponsive."

"And your first thought is to assault me?" I whined, pulling away from her hand as I rubbed my cheek. She hadn't even used her fist, and I felt like I'd been hit by Mike Tyson.

Her eyes rolled again. "I barely tapped you," she countered, folding her arms. "Stop being a child and tell me why you were freaking out just now."

 _Christ_. If that was a tap in her book, I didn't even want to imagine what being punched would feel like; she had the upper body strength of a fucking grizzly bear.

Waiting for the throbbing in my face to subside, a whole sixty seconds elapsed before she sighed and seized my wrist, tugging me forward as she wrapped an arm around my waist and placed her hand back against my cheek. "I'm _sorry_ ," she offered the apology as magic seeped beneath my flesh.

"Sure," I said, swallowing a sigh as the ache slowly dulled until all I could feel was the warm tingling of her magic. She caressed my jaw, swiping a thumb across my lips as she licked her own and leaned in.

"Tell me where you went," she murmured against my mouth. I shivered at the throaty timber of her voice, not at all immune to the persuasive tone no matter how often she used it against me.

"What if it's not there," I whispered softly. She frowned, only for a moment before understanding flashed within her eyes.

"It will be," she assured me. I wanted to ask _how_ she could possibly know, but her lips stopped the words on the tip of my tongue. She kissed me, hard enough to force thought away for the brief instance in which she pulled back to add, "Whether or not it is protected, is another matter entirely."

* * *

Another week passed before I learned what Regina had planned. Knowing Henry would somehow be involved, I hadn't pushed. In fact, I was having second thoughts about the whole thing. It never occurred to me the risk involved. I was going to curse an entire realm to keep one person safe, but what if I was endangering the Prince? Regina would never forgive me if something happened to him. Hell, I would never forgive myself. I'd barely just come to terms with my role in his life and how much he meant to me, and now I was going to curse him and everyone else?

Granted, I didn't much care for anyone besides Regina, but there were _some_ people worth considering and he was at the top of that list. What would this do to him? To the stability of his mind? Would he lose his memories? Would he hate me when the curse inevitably broke? Worse. Would he hate Regina for letting me go through with it?

As much as he loved referring to himself as the Dark Prince, it was just a title to him. He wasn't dark. He wasn't even close. I distinctly remembered his face the day we found an injured bird in the garden, and the way he cried himself to sleep when it didn't survive; he was innocent—a child who'd blamed himself for life's tragic turns as he'd blubbered about getting to the garden sooner.

It had been the middle of winter, for shit sakes, _of course_ the bird hadn't survived.

Now to top it all off, Regina had decided to use his birthday as an excuse to throw a ball. A ball in which she intended to invite the Blue Fairy. A ball—a birthday, that I would then ruin by ripping the woman's heart from her chest in front of everybody.

I was torn between wondering whether she was insane, or simply a mad genius. I was definitely leaning toward the former. We were going to scar the kid for life.

"I'm _really_ uncomfortable with this idea," I said aloud for what had to be the tenth time. We were walking back from the stables, the Prince already having run ahead after proclaiming his eminent death due to starvation, even though he'd consumed ninety percent of breakfast; half of my own and his mother's included.

Regina merely shot me a look; the one that said if I didn't shut up, I might find myself suddenly occupying a cell down in the dungeon. In the week leading up to that moment, it seemed the tables had turned. The Queen was on board, and I was uselessly stomping on the brakes in an attempt to get off the ride to crazy town.

"He's going to hate me," I insisted. She could threaten me with her glares all she liked, it didn't change a thing. "And then he'll wonder why you let me do it, and hate you too."

"Nonsense," she countered, head held high as we climbed the stairs to the castle. She waited until we were out of earshot of the guards at the doors before she continued, " _If_ the curse breaks, then we will explain to him why you did it. He is not some simple-minded peasant unable to think for himself; he is my son, and he will understand."

"You were against this," I reminded, frustration bubbling to the surface. Maybe she was right. Maybe Henry would understand, but until it happened there was no way to know and I couldn't believe she was willing to risk it. Henry meant everything to her—Henry was _supposed_ to mean everything to her.

She spun toward me and I pulled up short, stepping back. "Because of _you_ ," she snapped, closing what little distance was between us, jabbing a finger into my chest. "Because, despite your claims to the contrary, I still believed you were like your parents. I thought my influence was corrupting you, that given enough time, you would change your mind and I didn't want to commit to something that had the potential to disappoint me."

Anger and said disappointment clouded her expression. "You choose now. _Now_ , after I accept that this is what you intend to do, to decide that _maybe_ there is someone around here who isn't me, who you should be more concerned about? All this time and _finally_ you concern yourself with my son, as though I haven't _agonized_ over what this might do to him—to us?"

Speechless, I tried to think of a response but the words wouldn't come. I felt like an idiot. Of course she'd thought of him. It was stupid of me to have assumed otherwise. After years of cruelty, of hate and murder, she changed. He was the reason for the woman she became. She wanted to be better, she'd explained. The Evil Queen, the persona she sometimes adorned when the occasion called for it; she wasn't fit to be anyone's mother.

The seconds ticked by slowly and as the time stretched, I watched as her spine straightened, all traces of her anger gone but for the growl of her voice. "You will do this," she said as she turned her back on me. "Even if I have to order you, you will do this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In before, "Wow. Regina turned into a real bitch this chapter." She is justified. Please don't start.


	30. Chapter 30

The Prince's birthday was underway.

Nobles from all over had flocked to pay their respects to the seven year old. At least, on the surface that appeared to be their reason. From their expressions and the few exchanges I'd overheard throughout the night, their true reason for being there had more to do with fawning over the newly reformed Evil Queen that they'd heard stories about for the last year.

Not only were they practically gawking at Regina whenever given the chance, they literally gushed like teenage girls meeting their idol for the first time, any time she deigned to pay them even the slightest attention. The ball had been underway for barely an hour, and I wanted to rip out the hearts of at least half of the room.

I would do it.

I was done questioning myself. Being surrounded by all those simpering idiots was enough to convince anyone to cast a curse on them. If getting on every single one of my nerves was a part of Regina's plan, she had succeeded spectacularly with the people she chose to invite to the Prince's birthday.

Seated beside her, I was subject to each and every person who thought their company was all she needed to brighten her day, as though she could actually be any happier than she was, watching Henry weave his way through the room, charming everyone with his dimpled smiles and almost endless rambling.

As much as I hated the thought of ruining his party, I stopped second guessing myself after our confrontation in the hall. Blue deserved nothing less and the longer I sat there, the more my resolve grew. I now understood why Regina rarely referred to anyone else, besides myself and Henry, as idiotic peasants; their unending attempts to slime their way into her good graces was anything but subtle.

Her latest admirer was, at best, unoriginal and at worst, a nausea inducing sleaze ball. He reminded me so much of Killian that I'd had to tune him out before I lurched out of my seat and gutted him where he stood. I wasn't particularly eager to clean blood off the floor, and the Queen seemed to find him entertaining enough. She was in a good mood and after what we'd been through, I didn't think it wise to challenge the stroke of luck.

A month had passed since our falling out and for weeks Regina and I bickered back and forth. I varied between feelings of anger—at her and at myself, and guilt for assuming I was the only one thinking of Henry. It wasn't until he caught us in the midst of an argument that we finally sat down and talked like two normal people.

For as much as she apologized for her reaction, I apologized for the way I'd gone about expressing my doubts and since then, we'd resumed being the almost sickeningly sweet couple in love that we'd been before.

I had a feeling her forgiveness wasn't set in stone, but I was confident the outcome of the night would see to that.

Needing some fresh air, I rose and slipped from the ballroom, stepping out on to the balcony that overlooked the garden. As I stared down, my eyes drifted to where we often sat for our talks, and it hit me then that these would be the last memories I had of those times.

We'd learned so many things about each other out there underneath the stars; like the fact that when she was scared, she had a bad habit of lashing out.

We'd laughed, we'd cried.

We were frustrated with each other more times than I cared to count.

There were even a few times we completely ignored each other, sitting in stiff silence until one—or both—of us grew tired of pretending something as inane as a disagreement was worth coming between us.

I smiled sadly at the thought. I was going to miss it. All I'd ever wanted as a child was a home; somewhere safe—warm, where I had friends and maybe even a family that didn't _want_ to send me away. I had everything, and I was about to give it all up for the woman I loved—the woman who made it all possible to begin with.

"I was wondering where you got off to."

A flash of déjà vu ran through my mind at the words and I inhaled sharply as I turned. They were eerily similar to the ones Regina spoke in the stables close to a year earlier, but the voice was significantly different.

I breathed out slowly through my nose, almost huffing, but not quite. If there was anyone to suspect of following me, Snow White would've been in my top three list of potentials.

"Party not to your liking?" I asked, turning back to the garden.

In the time leading up to the Prince's birthday, we'd talked, albeit briefly. We still weren't on good terms, but I was learning to be less hostile towards the woman who gave birth to me.

"The party is wonderful… I thought you would like to know that David has arrived," she replied softly.

I closed my eyes and resisted the sigh building in my chest. Even in those three words, the hope in her voice was louder than the music pouring from the door where she'd emerged.

For some reason only known to the inner workings of her own complex, baffling psyche, Snow White believed that I would be more receptive to my supposed father. Even after I'd pointed out that he abandoned me the same as she had, she clung to her fantasies as she'd spoken of the man she perceived him to be.

Still. They didn't know it, but it was their last night before they forgot they even had a child to begin with and I was nothing if not accommodating that night.

Eyes fluttering open, I swallowed down the budding irritation and faced her, gesturing for her to lead the way. "Let's get this over with then."

Walking back into the ballroom, finding Waldo would have been more difficult than spotting the King, dressed as he was in all his regal finery and flanked by the two guards who constantly shifted as if expecting an attack.

 _He has my jaw_ was my first thought, my second that of curiosity as I contemplated throwing something at the guards, reasoning that it would be a test of their reflexes, instead of the distraction I needed to stop comparing myself to him.

"Charming," Snow greeted her husband, drawing me from my inner musings as she kissed him on the cheek and settled a hand in the crook of his elbow.

 _Charming_ smiled, his eyes shining with the kind of love one might find in the face of an emaciated puppy after taking it in and feeding it steak. "Snow," he replied warmly, smile widening as he turned those eyes on me. "And you must be Emma."

"Must I?" I replied, shaking the hand he extended with a smirk. He looked like he wanted to hug me and it was a definite point in his favour that he didn't try.

Maybe Snow wasn't as deranged as I thought.

He ignored my sarcasm and continued to smile, giving my hand a lasting squeeze before letting it go. "I'm glad to have finally met you," he said. "I would have liked it to happen sooner, but someone had to stay and look after the kingdom while Snow gallivanted about."

My brow rose. "And who is it that's looking after the kingdom now that you're both here?" I questioned.

His eyes drifted about the room, smile softening as his gaze returned to me. "We aren't the only ones from our kingdom here," he replied. "The man currently groveling before your Queen, for instance, is one of ours. To those that remained behind, I entrusted our advisor to see to their well-being until our return."

With a nod, my gaze fell to the Queen and I smiled as I noticed the man from earlier on his knees before her. He must have said something to piss her off, and it pleased me no end to see the scowl she wore as she glared down at him. I excused myself with a promise to return, and sauntered across the room, bypassing the man as I ascended the stairs of the dais.

"My Queen," I murmured, retaking my seat next to her. She immediately flicked her wrist and the man vanished, a commotion transpiring somewhere beyond my vision where I imagined he'd reappeared a moment later. "Terrorizing the neighbors?"

"Merely asserting my desire for them to treat you with the utmost respect, even outside of your presence," she explained quietly, offering those who'd paused what they were doing to watch the spectacle a dazzling smile. She lifted her voice. "Let this be a lesson to those who would so much as dare slander my consort."

Murmurs followed the declaration and my surprise must have shown for the deep, amused chuckle she gave upon glancing in my direction. She leaned to the side and brought herself closer to me as she questioned, "Dare I assume the way you flush so prettily stems from pleasure, rather than embarrassment?"

I bowed my head in a slight nod, my cheeks burning. Outside of being lovers and the clear fact she favoured me above all except Henry, I never thought to question what our relationship meant to her but it was obviously more than I dared hope. "Beyond pleased, my Queen," I confessed.

"Good," she replied, rising as she held her hand out to me. "Come. Dance with me."

* * *

We danced for what felt like hours, bodies close as we breathed the same air. Our eyes never wavered, meeting the second we faced one another amidst the crowd gathered to watch us.

With the exception of the night clubs I visited on occasion in New York, I hadn't many opportunities to dance and was surprised to discover that I could. I wasn't at all surprised that _she_ could.

Regina was a perfectionist, holding herself to the same, if not higher standards than those she expected of the people she surrounded herself with. She may have hated the childhood lessons her mother forced on her, but there was no denying they'd paid off. Regina was beauty and grace, and everything I'd never known I desired in a woman; she was a Queen in every sense of the word.

It started out slow, and a little clumsy on my behalf, but it took only moments for us to find our rhythm and as we danced, I found myself becoming lost in the feel of her body moving against mine.

"Have I ever mentioned how gorgeous you are when you smile?" Regina murmured against my ear. "You are truly stunning, my love."

"Less so than my Queen," I replied in the same soft, adoring tone, biting the inside of my cheek when she scoffed in response.

Compliments such as that continued throughout the night until we parted. She offered them freely, doing her best to sustain the flush that overcame me every time. She laughed more in those moments than I could ever remember hearing before. Happiness suited her, and the more I was exposed to it, the stronger my resolve grew to see that she was never anything but happy ever again.

Thoughts of uncertainty lingered, but by the time she announced dinner and led me to our table, I knew how the night would end. I took my seat to her right and gazed about the room, studying faces both familiar and unfamiliar as I sought one in particular.

When I spotted him, my eyes widened briefly before I schooled my expression. The birthday boy was sat chatting with Blue, lips moving too quick to read. I swallowed as I watched his hand beneath the table, slipping something into his pocket.

I jerked my head to stare back at the Queen, and almost gaped at the subtle quirk of her lips as she stared right back at me.

Looking back to the table, I noticed Henry had moved and Blue was sipping at her drink, a pinched look on her face.

When the Prince took his seat to his mother's left, Regina lifted a brow and he tilted his head. I couldn't believe it. Regina had actually used her son to deliver the blow that would result in my killing someone, and if Blue's expression was anything to go by; it was _working_.

I could feel something building in my chest and covered my mouth unthinkingly, feeling a hand immediately settle on my shoulder. "Emma? Are you alright?"

All eyes turned to me as mine snapped to the side and I quickly nodded, coughing and clearing my throat as I dropped the hand to my lap and forced a smile. "Fine," I tried to dismiss the concern in Snow's face. "Maybe a touch of sickness."

I realized it was the wrong thing to say when she gasped. Regina had mentioned once or twice the number of people who died each year due to their health. I always wondered why magic couldn't do what science apparently could, but I never dwelled on it and it didn't occur to me until then how it must have sounded.

"Not like that," I hastened to correct her thinking, knowing I was doing a terrible job of it as I rambled about vaccinations and the medical advances of the other world over their own.

Have I ever mentioned how much I suck at lying?

"I believe the Princess is attempting to imply her immune system is much stronger than it might have otherwise been, Snow," Regina interrupted my babbling, smirking as my shoulders visibly slumped in relief. "From the things she's told me, one might assume they have an entirely different magic of their own."

The interest that comment garnered from Snow had me wanting to scowl but, again, I was saved from having to elaborate when Regina turned her attention to Henry and began asking him questions about his night so far.

When the servants arrived, the chatter fell to a minimum while the Prince talked about the pile of presents waiting for him. Those seated with us wore varying smiles of amusement as we listened to him. I was too distracted wondering if he would even have the chance to open them to take note of whose eyes it were I could occasionally feel on me.

As we ate, the potion did its job. Neither of us knew what to expect but when a crash sounded from the Fairy's table, all heads turned to where Blue was seated and we watched as she appeared to drop, unconscious, from her chair.

The two guards stationed by the door hurried over, lifting her from the floor and leaving the room in a matter of maybe a minute. Regina made a show of sending a healer after them before she assured everyone she would check on the fairy and encouraged them to continue with the celebrations.

* * *

"You're a real piece of work." Regina cocked her eyebrow and I couldn't help myself, I was…

Livid was perhaps too strong a word.

Annoyed? Frustrated? Somewhat appalled? Sure, but nothing I could come up with could accurately capture what I was feeling as I followed her through the halls to where Blue was being kept. I wanted to be angry at the fact she included Henry in the plan, yet when I tried to grasp the emotion, I would turn my head and it was instantly gone at the sight of her smile.

"I'm curious," I continued, refusing to let it distract me a third time. "When you said you thought of him and how he would react if the curse broke, did that include him unknowingly helping me murder someone?"

I knew what I'd signed up for the second I agreed to do it, but Henry? He was a kid, _her_ kid and for someone who claimed to love him as she did, I wanted to know how; how had she justified handing him that potion to herself?

"What makes you think he didn't know?"

I stopped in my tracks, incredulous. "What?"

She paused her stride and turned to face me. "I neither lie nor force my son to do things he doesn't want to," she said, leveling me with her glare. "He found me studying the potion and after sharing my theories of what it was likely meant to do, he asked if he could help."

Finally managing to get a grip on my anger long enough to let it out, I shouted, "Like he knew what he was asking, he's 7 for fuck sakes."

"I find the mention of his age rather surprising," she drawled, advancing on me with a budding smirk as she spoke. "Coming from you. You, who has spent the past few months teaching this 7 year old how to kill people."

"I've been teaching him to defend himself," I growled, standing my ground.

"One man's defense is another man's offense, isn't that what you once told him?" she countered, our bodies a mere breath apart. "Do not kid yourself; you've turned my son into a shield _and_ a weapon, for which I thank you."

I gritted my teeth and my nostrils flared as she let loose a chuckle. "You still think like someone from another world," she added at my silence.

When I still didn't respond, she sighed and pressed her lips to mine before she stepped back. "Children are many things here," she said as she turned. "Innocent is not one of them and that, my dear swan, is one lesson you can thank your parents for never having to learn."

Speechless and not by choice that time, I watched as she walked away, her words ringing in my ears. "She's not wrong." I jumped and spun on my heel at the imp's voice. "Tick tock, dearie."

"What are you doing here?"

He smiled. "I'm here because if Blue wakes up before you get her heart, Miss Swan, I'm afraid your job becomes that much more difficult," he replied and wrinkled his nose. "I don't know about you, but I don't fancy dying just yet."

I frowned. He never mentioned anything about a time limit. "How long do I have?"

"Best guess; not long." He tilted his head and with a thoughtful look said, "Useless and weak as they are without their dust, fairies are pure magic and using it against them is… well, not reliable."

"I don't know if I can still do this," I admitted, sighing as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"You can and you will." I frowned at the confidence in his tone. "You are predisposed to run from things you find overwhelming—understandable given the life you've had, but entirely irrelevant in this case."

I made to protest, getting so far as parting my lips before he clicked his tongue. "Miss Swan, as much as you might disagree with her methods; her safety, her happiness, and her love will always be more important to you."

His lip curled, part smirk, part grimace. "You can't help it," he added. "You are, after all, true love."


	31. Chapter 31

Letting the doors slam against the walls in what I thought was a fair amount of rage given the circumstances, Regina smirked as I entered the room where the guards had brought Blue.

True Love; it certainly explained a few things. More, than a few things, I guessed. I was so in love with her, from the moment we met, it should have been obvious.

Had Regina known all this time? I didn't know, but I didn't have the time or the inclination to ask. If Rumple was telling the truth, then I needed to do as I promised and cast the curse before it was too late. Confident as I was in my abilities with magic, I was not looking forward to confronting a pissed off fairy with untold power and the likely- perfectly rationale considering- grudge she would no doubt harbour against myself and Regina for turning against her.

The doors opened a second time as Regina snapped her fingers and as I turned, in walked two guards carrying what looked to me like a cauldron. I laughed, finding humour in a cliché that I knew Regina wouldn't understand as she glanced over to me, confusion furrowing her brow.

I shrugged, deciding the least she deserved was my silence as I watched them place the cauldron before me and step away. "That will be all, gentlemen," Regina dismissed them and came to stand at my side. "Are you ready?"

Casting her a side-long glance, I turned on my heel and marched across the room to where the fairy lay. I gathered what anger remained and channeled it into my hand, plunging it into Blue's chest before my doubts had the chance to resurface. Her eyes snapped open the moment my fingers brushed against her heart and a gasp stuck in my throat as I yanked it out, uncaring of the pain I caused as I quickly retreated from her reach and back to the Queen.

Regina drew me against her, arms folding around my waist as she nuzzled the skin of my neck. She reached up and pressed two fingers to the heart with a growled, "Stay," before setting them back on my stomach.

My eyes flicked across the room, noting the flex of a jaw as Blue ground her teeth and slumped back down. I shook my head and turned back to the heart, searching for something and finding nothing; not a single dark line that might explain that feeling I always had around her. She was centuries old and not once, had she experienced even a moment of grief?

I raised the heart higher and brought it to my mouth, the things I read- the things Regina taught me all coming to me in that moment as I gave my first order. "Tell me why you saved me."

Blue fought her response, nostrils flaring and jaw clenched in an effort to keep the reason from spilling from her mouth. "You were to become the next Dark One," she hissed eventually. "A puppet of the Evil Queen who I would have controlled."

"Power."

I laughed because _of course_. It wasn't enough that she was a match for the Dark One, Blue wanted the control as well and she was willing to sacrifice whoever she needed to, to get it. Selfish greed, I knew all too well.

"It's never anything original with you villains."

Regina raised the hand on my stomach once more, fingers dancing along the elbow of the arm I held at my side before she captured my hand, heart and hand cradled in the palm of her own. I breathed in, no longer constrained by time as I tilted my head and considered the question she breathed into my ear.

"Tell me why-" I faltered, eyelids fluttering as Regina found and pressed her lips to the spot beneath my ear that made me weak at the knees. "Tell me why you convinced Snow to put me in the wardrobe."

Blue averted her gaze with a sneer. "Your mother was on the verge of declaring a war she had no hope of surviving," she spat. "With you out of the picture, I knew she would be too broken, Regina would consider her loss of you a victory, and I would have had the time I needed to plan Rumplestiltskin's downfall."

Reaching up over my shoulder, I tapped the Queen's cheek; a silent request for her to stop. I couldn't think with the things she was doing. Regina ignored the request, however, and I rolled my eyes as she grabbed my hand, fingers entwined as she turned the attention of her mouth to my wrist.

I sighed and resigned myself to the mounting confusion. Though intrigued by the suddenly amorous Queen, I wanted to know more about the war, and kissing my wrist was at least marginally less distracting than necking. "Tell me what would have happened if Snow had her war."

"Regina would have killed her," Blue replied, her earlier resistance conspicuously absent. "Rumple would have been freed by her death, and he would have joined forces with Regina, snatching you from your crib as she laid waste to what remained of the White Kingdom."

"And you would have ended up right where you are now," I finished, finally understanding. "Tell me; who was I in that alternate time? A Knight? Her Executioner?"

Blue quickly covered her surprise with a grimace but not quickly enough, and I smirked. She scoffed. "You were her wife, known throughout the lands as the Queens of Darkness."

Regina chuckled, the sound humming against my skin as my thoughts scattered, leaving me speechless. She rested her chin on my shoulder, hand curling against my hip, and said, "You underestimated her loyalty to me."

As Blue shook her head, I found my voice again and spoke up. "She didn't know we're True Loves."

The hand on my hip tightened, silence thick but brief as a cheek rubbed against mine. "Are we?" I nodded. "Well that explains a few things," Regina mimicked my earlier thoughts and I laughed, not realizing the tension I felt until I expelled it in a breath of relief.

I didn't notice the sounds of running feet at first, but when I did, it was too late. Snow and Charming burst through the doors as Regina and I spun to face them. I could both hear and feel the snarl curling the Queen's lips and I allowed her control as she guided my hand, letting it hover above the cauldron.

"Emma," Snow gasped, head shaking from side to side. "What are you doing?"

A confidence I never would have thought possible began to fill me and I straightened. I could feel Regina's pride and I let that confidence fuel my words as I replied, "What you asked me to. I'm saving the world."

Before the doubts- before the inevitable conflict I knew would come given time thanks to my conscience, I crushed the heart, Blue's choked cry bouncing off the walls as ashes slipped through my fingers. Ignoring their horrified expressions, I turned in the Queen's embrace as magic infused the room and an errant wind stirred in through the windows.

I basked in the beautiful smile that brightened her already gorgeous face before I buried my head in the crook of her neck. "I want to go home," I murmured as her arms wrapped around me, engulfing me within their warmth- their protection.

I didn't know how Charming or Snow knew, or who might have told them what we were doing but I didn't care. My Queen wanted a curse, so a curse she would have. I cared for nothing- for no one beyond this woman who'd stolen my heart and given me everything I had ever desired in return; understanding, safety, love.

Regina was my home and wherever she went, I would follow.

* * *

Yawning as my eyes fluttered open, I stretched my limbs one by one, and then slumped, boneless back to the bed. I sensed those eyes on me and turned my head, a content sigh slipping unbidden from my lips as our gazes met, affection and love staring back at me. I would never grow tired of waking to those dark, expressive eyes.

She grinned, voice deep- raspy, wonderfully arousing. "Good morning, my White Knight."

I frowned despite the little flip my stomach gave. Were we about to begin a scene? Not that I would complain. I mean- I would. Actually. We had to get up, get the kid, go to work. Unless she was giving me the day off, we certainly didn't have time to indulge as we so often did.

Besides, if I was the knight, who was she? Sleeping Beauty?

I snorted at the thought. Regina Mills? Damsel in distress? Maybe when hell froze over. Another knight, maybe, or a Queen? I hummed. Yes, a Queen. _The_ Queen. I could definitely picture falling to my knees in reverent worship of her. I had, in fact, more times than I could count.

Not that _that_ mattered, I reminded myself. _Up, work, kid_ , I repeated, pushing away thoughts of debauchery and sin.

_So much sin._

I cleared my throat. "Morning?"

She studied my face, eyes seeming to dart everywhere at once as she tried to find something. I knew that face. It was _I-might-be-in-trouble_ face, but I hadn't done anything that warranted it- I would, there was no doubt about that. Exasperating the woman I loved was far too amusing not to, but I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

She sighed, face falling as she muttered, "You don't remember."

My frown deepened. "Remember what?"

"Oh my sweet, sweet Emma. What have you done?"

Her expression broke my heart and I rolled to my side. I lifted my hand from where it lay between us and touched her face. She captured it, pressing my palm more firmly against her cheek as she closed her eyes. "I love you," I said, sincere—hoping.

Why did she look so sad? She was always happy. Sometimes it was actually annoying, how happy she was, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Her lower lip trembled and I shifted closer. "Believe me," she said, mirthless laughter in her next breath. She opened her eyes and my heart clenched as the first tear slid down her cheek. "That is one thing I will never question, and I love you too, more than I thought possible."

Warmth entered my chest, unclenching my heart as my lips quirked in a tentative smile and I brushed away the tear with my thumb. Maybe she had a bad dream? In the two years we'd been married, I couldn't remember her ever having a nightmare, but I suppose there was a first time for everything.

"Are you okay?"

Regina chuckled and, _ah_ , my smile widened. Happy tears. She leaned in, releasing my hand and bringing our foreheads together. Her lips touched my nose and the tip tingled before the sensation spread through me as she kissed me. Nose, cheeks, chin, jaw. My smile grew twice the size, heart full to bursting with love.

"I am the happiest woman alive," she murmured and claimed my lips. I mentally high-fived myself - called it - and sighed, rolling to my back and dragging her with me as I deepened the kiss, delighting in her moan as a hand came up and squeezed my breast beneath the sheets.

I laughed softly as I felt the pressure of her pelvis against my thigh. "As much as I would love to continue this, our son is bound to interrupt with demands of breakfast before we get anywhere."

Her head snapped up, eyes wide as she whispered, "Henry?"

Confusion slowly returning, I tilted my head. "Henry Swan-Mills," I said. "Light of our lives, the one and only. I'll take him to school this morning, since you have that meeting."

"Meeting?" she repeated and I rolled my eyes. For someone who could hold a grudge, her memory wasn't at its best when she first woke in the mornings. She needed coffee, no doubt. Lots and lots of coffee.

"Yes, Madam Mayor," I drawled and reached up, tucking the hair that fell to hide her face from me behind an ear. "Nine on the dot- last night you mentioned something about building a playground and finally reopening the stables?"

Something seemed to click in her head and her face softened, that smile I adored more than anything settling on her lips. Whatever she'd dreamed about, I hoped she'd forget and preferably soon; it was too early for all these changing emotions.

"Very well," she purred and I shivered. God I loved that voice. "But you owe me, Sheriff," she added, kissing me once more before she rolled from on top of me.

"Yes," I agreed, grinning as I threw my legs over the side of the bed. "I certainly do."

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was informed via review that this was anti-climatic. I'm not 100% certain what anyone was expecting, but whatever it is, I apparently didn't deliver so- if you're one of those people, sorry? This was never meant to be full of action or adventure (read as: violent and bloody) It was all about developing their relationship to the point where a Sequel with them together as I want them to be, makes sense. So that's it. I want to write a sequel, and I fully intend to. Maybe whatever this was missing, that'll make up for it, maybe not. We'll see.


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